Hello Everyone,

I have not posted here since last Spring, I think. My daughter's father and I decided to try and make a go of it and buy a house together. Also living with us are his two teenage daughters. Well, things are bad, and getting worse. I know I have created quite a difficult situation by buying a house, but the good news is that only my name is on the house. I have been home with my daughter for over a year, and although my hope was to stay home longer, I know that in order to get out of this situation that I will need to go back to work full time. Hopefully I can get a job near my parents, so that they can give me emotional support. Today it just hit me how unhappy I am. I also tried to make it work with him because I do not approve of his parenting style, and thought that if I stayed with him, that I could protect my daughter from emotional harm. I can't stand the thought of her being left with him and his lack of nurture. I know that he is a cheapskate, and behind in his child support for his son, so I think my bargaining chip may be that I will ask him for nothing, as long as he will let me have her the bulk of the time. Although I know he loves her, he is not deeply attached, so I think that might fly. Anyway, right now I am just trying to sort out my options and would appreciate any advice as to some steps I can take to get ready for this change. Also, this man is very very crafty and plays lots of games, and feels that he knows the child custody system inside and out because of what he went through with this ex-wife, so that has got me a little nervous. Bottom line is, I think his cheapness and unwillingness to give to our daughter will help me in the end. Thanks for listening.

First off, concerning visitation, he has to take you to court to even get visitation of your daughter. It's usually pretty standard for one night a week and every other weekend that he'll get to see her...if you don't like that visitation, you can always negotiate. Some of the others on here might know loopholes....child support, you might as well get it. If you get into the state system for financial help at all, they will take him to court for you and get child support ordered.