I couldn't figure out where to post this so here goes. I've been seperated for four months and not legally divorced until July 22 . I am not really interested in Dating, right now, perhaps in a year. I just need to heal a little bit, and find my own way. I might even wait longer. Anyway, how long did you wait until you started to date after you got divorced? How soon is too soon?

I was separated for a year before I started dating again. I wasn't divorced yet. But in all reality, my Exhusband and I were separated long before the actual "physical" separation. We were complete strangers.

Some people gave me a hard time for dating so soon...but they had no idea that the marriage was pretty much over from day one.

Agree with doing what's best for you. I'm just venturing out there after almost two years. It's scary out there, and I'm just klutzing around like crazy, so do take your time.

quote:

Originally posted by mommy2A&A:
I was separated for a year before I started dating again. I wasn't divorced yet. But in all reality, my Exhusband and I were separated long before the actual "physical" separation. We were complete strangers.

Some people gave me a hard time for dating so soon...but they had no idea that the marriage was pretty much over from day one.

Erin I wanted to reply to your post. I am right there with you on the marriage being over from day one. We have been seperated a year the end of this month. There have been a few people that have told me that I should not date until it is legal (The divorce) I don't have any plans on dating this min but I also don't feel I should have any guilt if I did. He knows it is over and after all the abuse I have put up with in my heart, soul and mind I am divorced.

I do agree that it is different for everyone that you are ready when your ready. There is no set time or anything like that. If you are not sure you can wait. If you think you want to you can try it and if it does not feel comfortable then wait a little longer.

quote:

Originally posted by Butterfly99:
There have been a few people that have told me that I should not date until it is legal (The divorce) I don't have any plans on dating this min but I also don't feel I should have any guilt if I did. He knows it is over and after all the abuse I have put up with in my heart, soul and mind I am divorced.

You should totally not feel any guilt. Those people have no clue what you're going through. I hate it when others try to judge, when they know nothing of the situation.

quote:

Originally posted by mommy2A&A:
I hate it when others try to judge, when they know nothing of the situation.

Oh, me too!!!! And so many people spend too much time doing it!!!!

I agree, do what feels right. You never know when mr. right will turn up.........

or mr. right now..................

One of these days you are going to wake up and realize that you are ready to date again. It may take a month, or a year, or five. But at some point the question of whether or not you are ready won't be there anymore. That's when you know that YOU are ready. As with a couple others here, my marriage was over almost as soon as it started. But it took us three years of forcing it to work before we couldn't do it anymore. I had my first date after 5 months. Which was alright for me. Caused some raised eyebrows from others. But, for me, I had been moving towards that point for years before. All each of us can do is quit stressing over the whens or whys of it and let our hearts make that decision.