Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Single Family Voices Balancing it all|
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Getting My Feet (Board) Wet |
How does everyone do it? What I mean is the cooking, shopping, child raising, income earning, cleaning, goal-setting, goal-achieving, etc...etc...etc... the list is endless. On top of that anything you want to do for yourself while not being sucked into the drama of ex-relationships. I feel friggin overwhelmed and try my best as a single father with a daughter who also has a disability and have lately been struggling with keeping a good attitude. Its far easier to say than to consistently do. And while I am venting here there is no friends or (girlfriend) to soften the load. It sucks! But that is my life and maybe some of yours? Any answers? Thanks
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"Every thought we think is creating our future" Setting New Standards  |
I am a single mom of 2 kids...a 8.5 month old and a 2.5 year old.
It gets easier, then it gets harder, then it gets easier again. Some days I'm really happy with it being just me and the kids, and other days I question my abilities to raise two kids on my own and keep my sanity. The only advise I can give is to stay positive and vent to us anytime you need to.  Erin |
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"Life is full of second chances...." At A loss for Words - NOT!  |
Vibes, I can totally relate...I am in a similar situation, all though my son doesn't have a disability...I am to the point where somedays I despise my life and the hand that I have been dealt, and other days I live for it. My moods go up and down as do my abilities to deal with child care issues. I've found it's just give and take...
I live in a city that is my exes hometown, and EVERYBODY here knows her...It's like everywhere I go and everything that I do, she gets brought up somehow. I have had 2 short lived relationships since she has been gone, and BOTH the girls knew my ex...Talk about awkward. I wish that I had some advice for you, but I too am struggling. I've found that coming to this forum to vent, and leaning on what few friends I do have, does help from time to time... |
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Learning to Surf The Board |
I too can relate! Somedays I cant wait to conquer the world others I am intent and content on sleeping thru it. I find myself crying on the way to work most days just cause its too much and I am just tired. Throw the Xdrama and it is quite enough.
You arent alone! Just look at your kid and remind yourself why you have to fight thru it. The only thing that gets me thru it  Keep your head up! |
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Parent on Board |
It's impossible to do it all as a single parent. You do the most important stuff, then take care of the rest if there's time. I feel overwhelmed more often than not and sometimes feel like I'm just losing it. But life goes on, what helps me a lot is knowing most other single parents feel the same way too.
You've found a great forum, vent when you need too! -Teresa "Heaven does not come with signs to be observed. It is already within you." |
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Getting My Feet (Board) Wet |
Yea thanks guys. I too go through changes in the momentum of single fatherhood. Some days im siked to be doing this all by myself and others (like recently) have been extremely tough. Its weird but when I finally do have time to catch up I find myself doing things that are not helping achieve that. For example...television, my only company, computer...again company or reading. Oh I forgot sleeping. Anyways its nice to hear from y'all and we can only keep pressing on. BTW I watched a show on tv last night it was from Oprah and it was the story of a couple of people that were facing death sentences due to some form of advanced cancer. It was their take on life now..kind of how when you first hear that you only have a certain amount of time left from a doctor it wakes you up. Anyway great show and a couple of quotes I got from it went like this:
Don't complain, just work harder. Don't wait for permission to start living. The other one was from a book Im reading and it was the philosophy from a professional tightrope artist when asked how he does it and he says "the secret is to keep your eyes fixed on where you are going. You never look down. Where your head goes, that's where your body is going, too. I thought I could try and apply that to my life. |
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"THE Eggroll" On the Board  |
Hey Vibe....I can't say I know what it's like to be a single father....but I can give you an outlook from a single mom's view? My son is 4 and I've been practically a single parent since the day I got preggers (the ex was military and was never really around). However I've been quite lucky and have had the help of my family for the last 2 years.
It's definitely hard to do it all yourself and as you can see from everyone else's posts you're definitely not alone....we all feel the stress as single parents. I've come to learn that the best thing to do is prioritize your daily to-do list. I know it's easier said than done, but don't sweat the small stuff. If you don't have any friends or family nearby to help you out, one thing you might want to look into is hiring someone to help you out. You can try calling a local college to find out if any students (maybe education, pychology or sociology majors) would be willing to help you out a few hours a week. Even if you're home and they're there at least it will help diminish your stress on getting some things done. Always remember we're all here to support each other and you're definitely not alone in single-parenthood! ~ST      |
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Active Board Parent |
I first off wanted to say welcome to the board. It's not an easy task for any of us being single parents. The bright side of that if there is one, you set the rules. You don't have to justify that to another adult. You have the final say, not one can argue with you except your kids may try lol. Here is a suggestion that may make it a little easier for you. I am by far not a very organized person. This has been a learned and process that has been hard work but it pays off. Try and make yourself a schedule. Now you may stray from it but it mnay help you to organize what you HAVE to get done. Decided one day a week when you will go food shopping make it the same day every week. Pencil in laundry if you have five loads a week do one load a day and give your self two days off. So on and so forth. If you have to get yourself some kind of dry erase board or make your self a schedule and hang it up. I will be home with my kids this summer and we are going to have a schedule so they don't go out of there mind and drive me crazy in the process lol. I don't mind if we stray from it but it will keep them busy and out of trouble. I hope this helps you a little bit anyway? "If wishes were horses, than beggers like us would ride" |
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Getting My Feet (Board) Wet |
All great suggestions. I will definitely try the making the list or using a dry erase board. You know though the one thing that seems to get in the way of accomplishing this stuff is being in the right head space to do it. I sometimes look around and see things that need to be done but then feel a little down or sad and dont feel like doing the work. I have always been the kind of guy who worked the best when other people were around. The cooking and cleaning was easier to do when other people were around...when its just me I tend to sometimes feel sad about it.
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Active Board Parent |
I think a lot of us understand where you are coming from on this. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a kick in the but lol....I know that one all to well.
"If wishes were horses, than beggers like us would ride" |
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