So I got an email from my high school ex-fiancee today and he sent me pictures of himself, his little girl and the baby's momma. While I have no ill feelings for him, or the gf for that matter, and I'm glad that he's happy. He is a good guy. A little slow on the "long term goals path" but he was a good friend for a long time, we just didn't work out for reasons that I've told before and dont feel like re-typing.

I just got the feeling that I'm falling behind in life. So many of my friends have significant others, more than one child and are just happy. I have a good job, I have a roof over my head, a beautiful firey 3 year old and my health. I am doing good!

Yet that empty feeling keeps creeping back . . .

awwww bug - you're doing great. compare yourself with some other folks and you'll come out way Way WAY ahead!

but i know what you mean - i have high school friends that have grandchildren older than Faith! I am getting over being a late bloomer and am happy to have bloomed at all!

See - right there you're way ahead of me bug!!!

I dont think its so much about being ahead of someone as it is me overanalyzing my life once again. Its good to analyze things once in a while but I'm beyond chronic. Seems to be a trend for me to do things chronically that I shouldn't. lol

While I may post and talk about things I am unhappy about, I am happy about my life. Things could be a lot worse. There's just something missing and I can't figure out what it is. Its bothering the h3ll out of me.

I know exactly what you mean. I never, ever thought I'd be alone at this age. I never, ever thought for one second I'd be raising this boy by myself. Now I've got a milestone birthday staring me in the face (from about eight months away) and I'm afraid maybe I'm destined to be alone forever.

So many of my friends have found happiness with significant others, I can't help but be envious. I feel so lonely sometimes, and scared, that I almost can't breathe.

Smshy, Smshy, Smshy. What are we going to do with you? I'm guilty of doing the same kind of stuff so I won't throw stones at you too much. We gotta make some changes so I'm proposing a challenge to you. We both must make a point to speak to at least 5 complete strangers each day. Saying hi or thank you does not count. Actual conversation. I dare ya.

I know what you mean. But I also thing Laurie is right.
I try to look at it objectively, and in a systematic way over the years:
a paternal friend of mine gave me the idea. I'm not sure I am doing it exactly the way he meant me too, but I have done it for the last 8 years, about every 2-3 years.
What it is is: WRITING IT ALL DOWN.
The first time it's a status on how your life is, objectively, from a professional point of view and from a personal point of view. Then you write down your major goals, short term, long term, professional, private. You keep that sheet (for me it's 1 sheet of paper).
Then you take that paper out again a year later (or 2, it doesn't matter if you skip 1 or 2 years), and write down the delta, what you actually achieved from what you set yourself as goals, your new life situation, and maybe a new set of goals.

For me, it brings back memories every time I take out the sheets again, and puts things into perspective every time.
I actually did achieve some of my goals.
Some goals have changed, some I am less sure of (the priority has shifted)
and, yes, a few things are still unattainable, for the moment at least.

It's just good to have a plan.

Will, that's just it. I do talk to people during the day. Most of them are clients but I do see people and talk to them. I'll talk to a complete stranger in the store or whatever but I just can't bring myself beyond that. I freeze.

Dew, that is an excellent idea. I will have to try that this weekend and put the paper in an envelope with a date for next year to see if I have changed

quote:

Originally posted by smshybug:
So I got an email from my high school ex-fiancee today and he sent me pictures of himself, his little girl and the baby's momma. While I have no ill feelings for him, or the gf for that matter, and I'm glad that he's happy. He is a good guy. A little slow on the "long term goals path" but he was a good friend for a long time, we just didn't work out for reasons that I've told before and dont feel like re-typing.

I just got the feeling that I'm falling behind in life. So many of my friends have significant others, more than one child and are just happy. I have a good job, I have a roof over my head, a beautiful firey 3 year old and my health. I am doing good!

Yet that empty feeling keeps creeping back . . .

I did want to post again in answer to the 'empty feeling'...
ok, I have that too...but I did have a chance of filling it 2 years ago, and it did not work out. I had a choice, and decided to be alone again. Having a man just added stress in my life although I did love him (as much as I am capable of that feeling).
Actually, there is only one man, in this world I really wanted to marry, and that is the b$£?&rd who is the father of my son. And he's also the one who made me cry ever single day we were together, from day 1. What can I say. Now, I don't love him any more, but I will miss him forever, kinda. Or at least, miss who I imagine he could be/could have been. So, that's what the void is filled with. In any case, that's safer than a real life man with all his needs and habits and odours

No, (for the guys) I don't hate man, on the contrary
but I do like to be able to go back home to my house, my bathroom, my bed.

Sarah, purlease, if you were 60 and saying that life is passing you by, I might tend to agree, for about two seconds. I agree with others here, journal it, I used to do it to examine my emotions, where they are coming from and why. You could look at it this way also, you and he could have worked(semi)and both of you could have been misrable because he simply was not ready for the commitment you want and need.

quote:

Originally posted by LaurieDorey:

but i know what you mean - i have high school friends that have grandchildren older than Faith!

Nobody should be a grandparent at your age! Though I made my mother in law a grandmother at 40. She was a bit ticked about that.

quote:

Originally posted by jwriter:
... Now I've got a milestone birthday staring me in the face (from about eight months away) and I'm afraid maybe I'm destined to be alone forever.

What, you turning 20?

Well aside from the lack of family support, it sounds as if you're doing really well in life. It's hard not to compare ourselves to others, especially when a dear friend seems to have it all. I have to admit though, I'm in a similar situation as you but I can't say I'm missing anything. Maybe it's because as a child, I never saw myself walking down the aisle. I didn't dream of the "happy ever after". I guess I always expected to be alone .. which I am. Maybe it has a lot to do with growing up with a single mom .. So, huh, maybe lower your expectations so when things do turn in your favour, it'll be a bonus in life .. ? lol