Hi there, I am a new one.
I don't know who to talk to about this stuff, my mother raised three of us alone so she gives good advice, but it was different for her.
My ex is away working, he is not terribly involved. He pays child support. He does call often and asks how our son is doing.
He also tries to get "us" back on track. I have to admit I don't just say "no way never again "because I worry he will get a hate on for me and take some legal action where our son is concerned. I don't tell him that I want to be with him either. I just tell him that I am much to busy with my life to think that way about "us". I know I should grow a set of @!^@%# as he would say.
I don't know if anyone feels this way but i cringe at the thought of his family(who live about 20 minutes away) taking our son for visits. they have taken our son for a walk for 2 hours before. I also go to their place with our son to visit about once a month. It is getting rather uncomfortable though. They don't call on any regular basis to see my son. It is mostly my ex's mother, she is a very pushy woman. She makes comments all time. She told me when i was pregnant that she didn't think it was good to breastfeed past 6 months becuase it meant that the mother was too attached (unhealthy wise) to her child. I don't think that at all.
When I take my son to visit with all of them she takes over with my son like it is her son, does not acknowledge my relationship with my son. It is so wierd. It is also very annoying and hurtful. My ex and her have a strange relationship where she bails him out of everything. He yells and fights with her and she takes it. When we were together I wanted to say why don't you kick him out and tell him not to come back until he speaks respectfully to you. I don't want my son learning all of this ****.
I just need help getting over this. I told my ex to tell his mother that i want her to make a schedule, like every two weeks on a Sunday for a few hours she can take him. I need them to start the process I think so I can get used to this as much as I hate the idea.
Do I sound scared to let go of my son? Am i putting his best interest first or am i sounding selfish.
thank you
I have written a lot here.
Does anyone know what this feels like? If so how did you get over this feeling?

My exs family have always been cruel when it came to me and my children.He allowed it and said nothing in our defence.I know how you are feeling but I wont make arrangements to have them see the kids that is his problem.I would just make it so that he is responsible for the arrangements and it works around your schedule.I dont think you are afraid to let your son go you just need to know he is in good hands and that is not a crime.My kids are al;l teeenagers and I still cringe when they see his family.hugs Gail