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Today , my soon to be exhusband came to pick up or youngest son for a visit and then when he returned he said "I have the power to divorce you or not divorce. The ball is in my court. I don't know what I want to do." He then said "What you don't have any feelings for me anymore" I didn't go into detail as the children were standing right there. Honestly. I don't have much feeling for this person--He is the father of my children. He was verbal abusive to us and our children and then it got physical and he tried to strangle our three year old, and he's been gone since then. I want to tell him that I am not his puppet. He just can't decide that he doesn't want a divorce, just because he feels alone and wants power. In our marriage of almost 4 years. He was never there for me. I cannot change him. I cannot go back to that place in my life where I felt so inferior and intimidated. I don't want to get back together with him. I am going to tell him just that. I just needed to say it, or type it. Anyway, thanks for the support!
Posts: 14 | Location: Washington | Registered: 18 March 2008
Wow, I can imagine it's still unnerving to hear. A part of me would love to hear those words, even though there's not a chance in heck I would go back. I'm wondering why it was difficult for you to immediately say no. Is there any part of you that wants to entertain the thought?
Posts: 533 | Location: Maryland | Registered: 13 February 2008
Originally posted by Dee23: Today , my soon to be exhusband came to pick up or youngest son for a visit and then when he returned he said "I have the power to divorce you or not divorce. The ball is in my court. I don't know what I want to do." He then said "What you don't have any feelings for me anymore" I didn't go into detail as the children were standing right there. Honestly. I don't have much feeling for this person--He is the father of my children. He was verbal abusive to us and our children and then it got physical and he tried to strangle our three year old, and he's been gone since then. I want to tell him that I am not his puppet. He just can't decide that he doesn't want a divorce, just because he feels alone and wants power. In our marriage of almost 4 years. He was never there for me. I cannot change him. I cannot go back to that place in my life where I felt so inferior and intimidated. I don't want to get back together with him. I am going to tell him just that. I just needed to say it, or type it. Anyway, thanks for the support!
this man scares the h3ll out of me and i dont even know him. Anyone who says things like "I have the power to...." just sends chills up my spine. in so far as you not having feelings for him anymore? does fear count? you'll always have feelings, they just might not be good feelings. he has very clear anger issues - who on earth strangles a 3 year old? unacceptable. i would have tried to ban all visitation and only settled on supervised visits in response the the strangulation.
you have the power to be his puppet or not be his puppet - the ball is in your court - and you know exactly what to do!
If you think you can, or you think you cant - you are right.
Posts: 1465 | Location: Down the Shore | Registered: 25 March 2008
It was a last ditch attempt to continue to assert his power and control over you, as he feels that hold is slipping away.
Scary, scary man! Be so glad you're getting yourself and your children away from that situation. Assert yourself in court, and demand supervised visitation and very clearly defined visitation procedures.
Posts: 1009 | Location: Seattle | Registered: 11 August 2007
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