I told them 7pm tonight... they were awake and awful until almost 10 last night, they are showing their exhaustion.

Delia did something, then said "I hate you" so I told her to go to her room. She said, "No."

While dealing with Delia I shut the t.v. off and Olivia gets that face, starts swinging her blanket onto the ground, all pissed. You are awful, you didn't say this, blah blah blah. I get them all round up to go upstairs. Delia goes by everybody. Maia flops at the top of the stairs and Olivia is trying to get up. Olivia says, "Maia stop! Maia stop with your feet!" OK I go up to Maia and move her and tell her to stand up. I'm angry at this point, it is freaking pathetic. Olivia then, "YOU HATE ME YOU NEVER LISTEN ALL YOU DO IS GIVE THEM ATTENTION AND I GET NONE YOU WONT LISTEN TO A WORD I SAY, blah blah blah!" omg

I go in her room and try kindly to explain that I was attending to her, to her safety by getting Maia away from her. BRICK WALL... on and on. I can't even listen to it anymore. OK everybody changes and pee's, etc. I go in and O proceeds to request a conversation. I get the whole "you don't listen to me story AGAIN" Then the "Why can't I just switch places I have to live here with them and they are awful and damage my room and my life AGAIN" then the "You never talk to me blah blah blah"

OMG I take her aside as often as possible. They were on the phone today with Daddy and Nana and I put her on my lap and we sat here chatting without them, probably almost 1/2 an hour. I spend 10-15 minutes every night chatting with her in her room, I spend about 45 seconds with each of them. I am SO FREAKING SICK of the her vs. them ****.

I am so tired of her acting as if the world is against her. She then proceeds to tell me I didn't let her have a playdate withNora and Kara (this is almost 2 yrs ago now) and I always let her sisters. OMG they had ONE playdate while at the daycare in MA... she had a ton! It is all she can remember, the bad. I cannot say it enough in enough ways to start thinkign about the good and looking forward to the good. I can't freaking STAND THE NEGATIVITY! I want to beat her when she starts in on it!

I think I need to make them write down 3-5 great things at night from each day. Yup, I think I'll start doing that tomorrow!

I'm sick of people telling me to go out with her alone. You know what, it just isn't feasible to plan it in on a regular basis. This IS her life. These kids need to learn to be happy with what they've got. They have a LOT LOT LOT! Sure, their parents don't live together... sure mine had twin sisters take over at about 17 months.... SO FLIPPING WHAT! Get over it and have fun! I can't stand anybody with a "woe is me" attitude and omg here I am with a 7 yr old with it.....

The last school the psych was telling me to plan in time for her each day! LMAO! I was working full-time, they were in daycare, we had about 2 hours together, the 4 of us.

Now she's starting in with the new psych. I plan to meet with her at the start of school though. This is her ploy and it works with people. She tells people this, that I don't give her any attention and her sisters get it all. It works on people. She's so freaking smart and she's twisting things around. omg my 7 yr old! I never thought I'd have a 7 yr old working the general public. Seriously, I've had teachers and even parents of other kids mention this to me!


I feel like she's determined to hate me. She is setting it up so that even when she's older she will be able to continue to blame me. Blame, that is something the ex is a pro at. He can blame the world for anything an everything. Nothing is ever his fault, NNOTHING! I have little patience for it, I probably should -- I don't want her to end up like him as an adult though. I hate blaming. The only person I can blame for things is myself. So here I am, blaming myself for this. I just gave her the "only worry about the things you can change lecture/chat" What the heck can I do to change this? ARGH and UGH!

Sue
It sounds like this young lady is going to give you a run for your money. I hate those (can'r win for trying) times.

I say wait until she is older then spend her college fund on yourself. Blow it on body maintenance, and a week or two with a gigolo in the Bahamas.


She is so bright, she has found a catch that works, people buy it and she knows it.

Hang in there mom.

Sue,
Boy does my heart go out to you right now.

I think your idea of reminding them of the good and positive experiences they have every day with you is a great idea. I'd make a game out of it.

I found a great website the other day called loveandlogic.com that gave me a new twist on dealing with the negative responses and blaming me for everything that I've been getting lately from my 5 yr. old.

My favorite line now is "I love you too much to argue with you". Shuts her right up and makes her think.

Then when she says something really out of line I tell her "Wow, it really must be a bummer to feel like that". That gets her to own her feelings, not put them on me but makes her think about the consequences of her words and actions.

I've found that I have to change discipline tactics about once every 2 weeks so my daughter doesn't get too comfortable with it and learns how to play it for all it's worth.

Sounds like you need a break - have you had one lately, just for you?

quote:

Blow it on body maintenance, and a week or two with a gigolo in the Bahamas.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Supplied, I like that idea, those ideas. I'm going to check out that site!

Sue,

Honey, I am sorry. You so have your hands full. I can't say I have experienced the same as a parent but, I was a doozie as a child. Just like Olivia. I was the oldest of 3 with a sister 7 1/2 yrs younger and mom was also a dedicated in-home day care provider. I felt like I was always push aside when I was a kid. Now, my mother is one of my best friends.

Evie went through bouts of playing the victim; just like her father. I wouldn't let her. I told her she had to live here but, she was the only one that could decide if she was going to live in misery or make herself happy. As she grew older, I could explain to her that no one else was "responsible" for her happiness. Others can only add to your happiness not create it.

I hope both of you can work through this. I feel for you because, I remember the **** I used to give my mom. She luckily chooses not to remember any of it today though.

quote:

Evie went through bouts of playing the victim; just like her father. I wouldn't let her. I told her she had to live here but, she was the only one that could decide if she was going to live in misery or make herself happy.

I've tried this in some kind of 7 yr old style... it just isn't an easy concept. I shall keep plugging on! Good to hear you and your mom found the light at the end of the tunnel! I'm not a prayer, but, let me tell you I'm praying hard for that!

Aww Sue... I wish I had some advice to give you... but I've got nothin.. all I can do is hope that things work out for you and that Olivia realizes (and soon!) that you are doing the best you can..

I can tell from your posts you are a fantastic mom.. so keep it up and it will *eventually* work itself out *hugs*

Sue you are not alone.I spent most of my kids young lives getting Jesse help and knowing he recieved more time than anyone else.He has also went for the throat you like,love them more than me.The truth is your daughter is intellegent enought to manipulate this whole situation.She knows it will get to you and that makes it an instant addition to I dont want to go to bed or any other situation to make you feel guilty.You have given all of your girls the best of you and kids can be cruel just work hard at say I love you all the same.This attitude of Olivias will be great when she is dating cause she will stand up for herself.love and Hugs Gail

Sue its times like those that it I am fortunate to be a guy with a big scary voice, lol. Corse mine munipulate me in other way now.

...and I'm lucky I have all boys, I think.

Well maybe MrB, I don't think I will have to worry about Irrate fathers coming after my kids. Corse that would make me the irrate father, ugh I can't win

All I can say is good luck Sue & HOPEFULLY this too will pass. I go thru this all the time with Macie...no matter how much attention I pay to her she is comstantly telling me how ignored she is and how her sisters get everything or that I take everyones side over hers..ARRRGGGG!!! It is a never ending cycle!!!

Are they EVER going to see how much we care and how HARD that we try to do everything for them????

Sue all I can say is hugs girl and i have 4 that pull this all of the time.

Tonight it is Delia. I swear they are killing me slowly --- and painfully.

So then it would be Maia's turn tomorrow? (Hope that i'm not jinxing you)

Maia just lost her "flute/recorder" she blew it after I said no more. It is mine.

Anybody have a request?

How about Barnickle Bill the sailor Sue lol.Trust me when I say Destiny lost her flute on a daily basis her brothers and I wouyld hide it for sanity time.

Who's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door?
Who's that knocking at my door? said the fair young maiden.

I just got paid and I wanta get laid,
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
I just got paid and I wanta get laid,
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.

what a song...... How about "Hot cross buns"....(more geard towards Maias age level)

I knew that you would know that one Mr. B nothing like reliving our youth.Thanks I really needed a good laugh today .Sue hun my 4 I swear have a board with time slots of who is going to try to push mom over the edge today.I keep telling them that if they complete the job of driving mom up a tree there punishment is Dads house.I also have resorted to playing the oh brother where art thou disk they all run for cover then.
You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy when skys are gray.

They all disappear rather quickly.
Hugs hun we are all here to help
Love ya Girl Gail

I thought the flute playing and song were Sues big moment to be the next

AMERICAN IDOL


go Sue its your birthday we gonna party like its your birthday
Drink Bacardi like its your birthday.

That version of Barnacle Bill is actually the cleaned up version....