Hhhmm - I've never really posted a summary about myself. I've learned so much in the past couple of years - from friends, family, and friends that I have met from SFV. With recent and upcoming accomplishments, I've decided to post more about myself. Maybe for someone it will be inspiration....

I moved in with a friend from high school when I was 21. I thought I was very happy and that being with him completed me and that I could be the missing piece that would change him. We planned on getting married (were engaged.) I got pregnant with my son. While I was pregnant I began to see that my fiance would never change. After I had my son, I faced the fact that he was a drug addict and alcoholic. I tried to help him change but ultimately decided I had to move out - that he would never be a good influence and maybe a danger to myself and my son.

I moved in with my parents. I look back now and wonder "what was I thinking?!" I know now that I feared being alone as well as feared my ex. I had a full time job (always have) and could have afforded living on my own with my son but didn't think so at the time.

When my son was 2.5, I began dating someone seriously. Shortly after, I got pregnant again. Again!? He and I decided I should move in and we would make our relationship work even though we didn't even have a stable foundation. I was Never good enough for him. He didn't like having my son around (his son from previous marriage was only there every other weekend.) He resented me and we were both too stubborn to compromise on our differences. There were very happy times but I knew that he didn't want us there. When my daughter was 5 months old, we agreed my children and I had to move out.

This time I was confident enough to rent our own apartment near my family. I provided for my children through times of no child support. My ex's seemed to hate that I was doing well on my own and would make comments that I didn't do this right or that right and that I needed to stop living a life of luxury. Ha - A life of luxury. I finally determined that I HAD to filter out the negative. No more arguing with them if I wanted to be successful and mentally stable.

I had started college courses right before moving out of my daughters dad's. So - once I was on my own, I continued to work full time and attend college courses.
We all know how expensive necessities are. It seemed like I never had enough money. I borrowed (loans) to pay off bills and try to get ahead just to realize my debt was more than I can handle. I finally filed bankruptcy. Something I wish I never would have done but something that helped me to move forward.

I have had so many days that I've struggled yet with support from everyone, I've kept fighting to get where I'm at now.

What I have learned about myself: I always had very small standards and goals for myself. I tried to be content with less than what I (or anyone) deserves only to realize that I'd be miserable if I continued on like that. I was taught to be non-judgemental, accept everyone, and not expect too much from anyone or anything in life.

Finally seeing some accomplishments and getting to a point that I can enjoy life rather than running in circles constantly. I graduated college last weekend. Only an associates in business management/administration. But it's a start. My children and I are moving an hour away from family - closer to where I work and a much better city than what we currently live in.

At this point, I expect more. I want the best for myself and my children. The road getting there is very windy and long but I will keep driving and moving on to gain the best for all of us.

There were so many times that I just wanted to give up - beg for help - run away.... Instead, I kept paddling. I learned to overcome many fears and have since made accomplishments that are just a beginning to a new start for my children and I.

I know this is really long winded but I hope to catch some of you that feel like life will always be the same. Like there will never be light at the end of the tunnel and like you have to settle for what you have.

Life is too short to sit back and accept something you are not happy with. Take chances and steps to do what will make you happy. I believe in everyone of you!!!

Hugs and prayers - --

I sincerely appreciate all of your support, encouragement, laughs, and inspiration!

Thank you all!!!

YOU GO GIRL!

Thank you SueP!!!!!

One of my many inspirational friends from SFV!

You and everyone else: FEEL FREE TO ADD IN YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Life may not be what we expected it to be. However, we are free to make life what we want it to be!

Thanks Melissa Jo,reading what you've been through and how you managed to get through it really hit home.I see myself in alot of it and who knows,maybe I'll be able to post some of my own accomplishments soon.I know I have to make some major changes in my life in order to find some kind of happiness.I look forward to reading everyone elses post to see how they made their life changes.Maybe there's hope for me yet.

Thank you MJ and never forget how proud we all our of you.You are an awesome mom,friend,family.It is an honor to see you grow and move forward.I treasure our friendship and love you to bits.Hugs Gail

My story would probably be more like a book or books. Of course it would start with my childhood. Adversity throughout my entire life has definitely made me the person I am today. Yes, I am strong because I have overcome, that isn't to say that I didn't get real down when I went through some of the bad times.

MJ, thanks for your inspiration. Reading your post has made me look at how far I have come in my own life. After 3 years of being a single parent, I think I have a handle on things and am prepared for the let downs that continue to occur and will occur until I have successfully raised two responsible girls to the point that they are on their own.

Gail and SueP, you guys have also been inspirational to me, since I have joined this forum. Thanks!

You're welcome Trishl!

Gail - Net - You have both been wonderful friends and we have all shared good times and not so good times. I look up to both of you and you too are inspirations to me.

Net - My story is big enough to fill a book. My post is seriously only a summary - abuot half a percent of what I'd write if writing "all" of it. Many of my struggles, choices, and situations reflect from my childhood as well. I think I'm growing up! For the past 6 months or so, I've been looking into my life and really trying to understand myself thoroughly rather than continuing the pattern of circles I used to follow.

I can never thank you all enough. Inspiration, comfort, care, support, listening ears, and also shared experiences, insight, advice, all absolutely priceless! Thank you all and THANK YOU ROBIN for allowing us all to be here for one another!

That which doesnt kill you makes you stronger.Net your background seems like mine.I truely believe that no ones problems are bigger just different.We are at the right place in the right time where we are suppose to be.Love to both of you and Robin.Stand strong girls cause our day will come and we will soar like eagles ok and dodo on our exs.

LOLOLOLOLOL

That is why I love ya Gail!!!!

Got to keep it real girl,and you know my sence of humor.

Thanks Gail. You made me chuckle. Your humor definitely helps me out a lot. Thanks MJ, you're wonderful!