Hello everyone-
I've been reading posts on this site since last November or so, and have learned so much from all of you. It soothes my soul to know there are a lot of you out there who are on the journey I am about to embark on, single parenting....

Thank you all for sharing your experiences. I don't have much frame of reference for being a parent, let alone a single parent...most friends don't have children or they are grown, and my mother has been gone for almost 20 years.....

A bit about myself (ok, maybe more than a bit as I re-read it)....I have always been fiercely independent and career oriented....I've moved all over the country for "the job". The plan was to do life in this order: Get the education I want, I'll find the job I want, place I want to be, then the person I want to be with, and then I'll have a kid....

Yeah, well, moving and changing jobs for the "better" position, "better" place, etc. by myself for the last 14 years has only left me feeling that somehow my plan was flawed....I wasn't getting any happier, just lonelier and questioning what life was really about..... Places and jobs somehow don't mean so much if that's all you have.....And calculating from what I know now about jobs, places, and relationships, I might be over 60 by the time I ever got to the kid part, if ever.....

And then, well, "life" decided to shake things up a bit.....I became pregnant (while using birth control) after just a short time dating someone.....Wait, doesn't this only happen to young, inexperienced people? Ha, ha...

It was a struggle to make a choice about what to do.
The father didn't want to have the child. I had to face my own issues with thinking I wasn't allowed to have the child AND my job/career (they originally seemed mutually exclusive).
And then, how could I be "good" role model as a teacher- getting knocked up while I was essentially single. (Yes, the students do know some of the situation. The nature of what I teach fosters closer relationships between the students and faculty than if I were standing in front of a lecture hall full of students)
AND, I hardly know anyone in this town......
But I loved and wanted this child as soon as I found out he existed......
Then the alarm on that biological clock that I hadn�t even known was set rang with a clarity that shook me from a sleep I didn�t know I was in...(What? I�m a high risk pregnancy because I�m old??? Wasn�t it just a year ago that I turned 28????, Oh, no, that was a DECADE ago!)

The final conclusion was- I will have and love this child, regardless or what else I have to change in my life to accommodate him. He will be the first thing in the plan now, and the rest will have to come after. I'll have to get over myself and worrying about what anyone else might think.....I CAN be a good role model....it depends on how I handle the situation....

I've been through lots of changes in the past 8 months, anger, depression, rejection, frustration, fear, loneliness.... hope, and excitement about, and love for this baby.....This experience has taught me that I need to reach out to people.....not only those already in my life (most of who live far from me- thank God for free long distance), but to those I don't know so well, and those in the same city as me...Guess what? If you let them be, people are generally nice, accepting, and supportive.....(I think a lot of you have already figured this out by being on this site!)

I am less than a month from "B-day".....Two of my closest friends are coming from out of town to help with the birth....one is moving here for the summer to help.......The dad? well, he and I are still trying to get a grip on how he will be involved......I guess I will post about that on the appropriate thread as I need advice on some of this stuff.....

I guess my point in rambling on about my situation is that I've relied on help from other people to get through it all, and I DO feel like I am on the other side of the difficult parts at the moment, BUT, late at night, when it was really hard to not get sucked into a black hole of negative thinking, reading the posts on this site has saved my *** on more occasions than I can count....

I know the new challenges will start as soon as the baby arrives, and I'll rely on this site for help and advice, and hope to be able to give back some of what I�ve gotten here-

Y�all rock-
Thanks-
pregprof

welcome to the forum

Pregprof,

:welcome:

I am very happy to see you have joined in. I am certain you will have as much to offer the rest of us as you have received so far.

You absolutely can be a good role model if you handle yourself well. Single parenthood is a reality no matter how it came to be. How you handle it will be what the world comes to see. You are obviously an intelligent person and I am certain you will be fine.

Please do join in more on this forum. There are many different people here with the same common goal. That goal is to give our kids the best possible life they can have with the resources we have available.

Welcome again,

Carla

Welcome pregprof. Glad you joined us and you will find lots of support here. Like you, once I found this site, it has carried me through some difficult times. It is also helpful when I need to smile or have a laugh after a particularly bad day. Congratulations and good luck on your coming baby.

Welcome pregprof. I had my son when I was nearly 39. Like you it was a huge surprise but also one of the most exciting journeys to start on. I was a bit shocked to be referred to as a geriatric pregnancy at the hospital and find I had a good ten years on most of the staff. Gosh I did not think I was that old.

My son is the absolute first in my life and the changes that I have made have not seemed like sacrifices ever - it is just I have now got a new set of priorities. I love it all even when it seems tough. I feel really lucky to have been given this gift of a child when I thought I would never have children. Look forward to seeing you on the board and getting to meet your new little one!
Aroha

Welcome pregprof! I do believe those in the medical world refer to it oh so kindly as a "geriatric pregnancy" SHEESH you'd think they could at least find some nicer termLOL

We've got an amazingly diverse group here, as you know... everybody has a different story, but in the end we all have that one common string that brings us here. I look forward to reading your posts!

Welcome pregprof, glad you came out of lurking to the world of posting I look forward to seeing you around and the birth announcement as well.

Thanks for all the welcomes......
I DO plan to post more.....and CA yes, I do have a lot to offer.....I feel like I've been through a bit of life at this point, an have some experience to offer....
It's strange for me to be entering completely unknown territory.....Humbling, actually, that someone 20 years younger than me on this site probably has advice that I can really use about parenting, babies, etc.....
And about being "older"....I think this child will actually make me feel younger.....I'll have to learn how to "play" again.....He's already made me take care of myself WAY better than I used to...I quit smoking, think about what I eat, etc..(ok, truth be told, I just ate a bowl of Coco Puffs before bed, I'm not perfect, but better).. Fact is I now really care about being around for at least another 30 years......
My job is really kicking my *** right now, and I'm working right up until the end, but I WILL post about the birth.....and look forward to adding my .02 to the other discussions here-
Dana- (aka pregprof)

Welcome to the board Pregprof You would be surprised as to just how many of us are "readers" of the post. I would have to say that I am mostly a "reader" myself but on occassion I'll go on a little bit of a rant. I've learned in my short time on being on this website that this is an excellent place for rants and raves, friendship and laughs.

Welcome Dana, so glad you posted. I wish you well with the B-day and please do come back and let us know all is well.
I am looking forward to reading more posts from you. I am sure you have a great deal to offer the gang here. It is always helpful to read another perspective on things.
Be well.

Dana,

I'm also new to the site. I've been "lurking" for a few days, just to get a handle on what goes on in "places like these." This is diverse group! Love it.

Life does take interesting, painful, exciting, overwhelming and beautiful turns along the way. Glad you have friends to celebrate your big day with you!

Although many people think I'm crazy, pregnancy and anticipation are elements I truly wish I could have experienced with my son. I had 2 weeks to prepare for him due to immediate placement for adoption. Enjoy these last few weeks as much as you can. And, the cocoa pebbles? Hey, we feed 'em to the kids, they can't be too bad, right?

Keep us posted!!!

DebraKay

Welcome to the site. We will be here for u when ever u need advice. Becoming a single mom or just a mom in general is scary but can be done. I have raised my son for nine yrs alone and am raising my 3month old daugther on my own. U can be a great role modle. Ya know just my working and lving a clean good life is a great start and it looks like u have that down already. I know my son has dreams of going to college b/c I went and graduated and I keep telling him he is going to be somebody some day.

Enjoy ur pregnancy and the yrs that follow after. Time goes by very fast so stop worrying I guess about how well u will be able to raise this baby and just do what comes natural to u.

I wish u the best of luck and hope to see u around here b/c us old timers have great advice! LOL

SPIRIT