Being a single parent is the easiest and the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I've had all these feelings over the last 4 years about becoming a single parent, being a single parent, freaking out about messing up a child (like we all worry about I'm sure), worrying that no one is every gonna wanna be with a single mother and that my life will never be the same. However, since having Kai, my life has never been more filled with love, anticipation, fear and happiness. While I may not feel happy all the time, the only thing I need to do is look at Kai and I know that I am loved unconditionally and that no matter what I do in my life, she is the most important person I will ever know.

Yes it is on my shoulders to raise her alone and I hope that I will help her grow into a good person. I am doing what I can and that's all I can do. I'm a good person and the more I think about it . . . I like me! I really do.

I like who I've become. I like what I'm doing. I like where my life is going. There is an empty spot in my heart and I am wanting more affection lately than I'm used to wanting. Apparently my heart is sick of not giving and receiving the love that only a significant other can offer.

So, I have 6 months left of serious singlehood and self-tweaking then . . . I will start dating officially.

Do I sound crazy?

quote:

Do I sound crazy?

Yes......yes you do, just as crazy as the rest of us
But I do have one question.....why the 6 month time frame still?

Its a great comfort to know that I'm not the only crazy one. lol

6 month time frame is basically what I've given myself to do what I want to do for me so that I can basically practice on the being positive, meaning start thinking more positive in a constant manner and get the negative out. I have to love myself before I can love any significant other. I have to know that I'm doing things for the right reasons and want to get myself feeling good about me before I start dating. I guess I just figured that 6 months was a good time frame.

I am a person of goals and I have to plan everything out. I dont like chaos, even though it would appear that most of my life is utter chaos. lol

Wise words, your plan sounds like a good one. There will be a lucky guy out there somewhere when you decide you are ready.

awwwww that's so sweet Don. thank you.

That sounds like a good plan, Sarah. I'm glad you're feeling better.

Good for you! Can't imagine that you will have anything but amazing success! YOU DESERVE IT!