Learning to Surf The Board
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quote: Originally posted by mommie2:
[qb]I'm new to this single parents website, but I need some help. I feel in love with a man that is wonderful to me and treats me like his queen. Not only that but he treats my son as if he was he own. The problem is that my ex-boyfriend is so scared that my new found love is going to take the place of being his dad. I told him that I will always allow him to be his dad but he cannot keep letting his personal feelings get involved. The problem is its effect my new love because he feels that tend to my ex-boyfriends needs more then I do to his. How to make me and my ex-boyfriends realtionship cut and dry and not add personal feelings involved please help[/qb]
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| Posts: 15 | Location: Texas | Registered: 18 June 2004 |  |
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Learning to Surf The Board
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quote: Originally posted by Rodeogirl:
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| Posts: 15 | Location: Texas | Registered: 18 June 2004 | |
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Board Blazen Parent
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quote: Originally posted by mommie2:
[qb]I'm new to this single parents website, but I need some help. I feel in love with a man that is wonderful to me and treats me like his queen. Not only that but he treats my son as if he was he own. The problem is that my ex-boyfriend is so scared that my new found love is going to take the place of being his dad. I told him that I will always allow him to be his dad but he cannot keep letting his personal feelings get involved. The problem is its effect my new love because he feels that tend to my ex-boyfriends needs more then I do to his. How to make me and my ex-boyfriends realtionship cut and dry and not add personal feelings involved please help[/qb]
Do you have an intimate relationship with your ex? I know that might seem personal, however, I don't see what the problem is. If your relationship is strictly platonic with your child's father, then you owe him no explanation. Isn't there a reason why this person is your ex? You two are parents to your child and that is it, I'm reading? Unless, you still have those kinds of feelings for him, and/or he's very insecure with self that you and he are allowing that insecurity to affect him just being a father to your child. I don't see why your new love should have any kind affect on you being the mom and your ex being the father, still. Girl, move on with your life. Time waits for no one, and you deserve happiness/real love, whatever it is you're feeling... Simply tell your ex this, "We'll always have a relationship via our child, but my personal life outside of this is none of your concern." Keep it real. Best Wishes!!!! |
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| Posts: 346 | Location: Southern Cali | Registered: 12 May 2004 | |
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Learning to Surf The Board
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IF YOUR NEW LOVE SEEMS TO FEEL THAT YOU ARE PUTTING YOUR X FIRST HE MAY BE RIGHT ...YOU NEED TO HAVE A SCHEDULE WITH YOUR X BOYFRIEND WHEN TO PICK UP THE CHILD ECT .YOU DON'T NEED TO CATER TO YOUR X THIS MEANS NO COMMUCATION UNLESS IT'S ABOUT THE CHILD NO MORE THAN THAT ... quote: Originally posted by mommie2:
[qb]I'm new to this single parents website, but I need some help. I feel in love with a man that is wonderful to me and treats me like his queen. Not only that but he treats my son as if he was he own. The problem is that my ex-boyfriend is so scared that my new found love is going to take the place of being his dad. I told him that I will always allow him to be his dad but he cannot keep letting his personal feelings get involved. The problem is its effect my new love because he feels that tend to my ex-boyfriends needs more then I do to his. How to make me and my ex-boyfriends realtionship cut and dry and not add personal feelings involved please help[/qb]
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| Posts: 16 | Location: Georgia | Registered: 19 May 2004 | |
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Learning to Surf The Board
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I am going throught the same thing right now, in both directions, my ex has a new girl, you can see my posts under ex's, and I have a new man, my man hasnt met my son yet. My ex's girl has, I felt very threatened by it, but after hearing from many people, your ex needs to realize that he is your childs father, and should never think anyone else will take his place, you also need to seperate your personal life from your ex, it is difficult, my ex does it really well. Dont have him subjected to seeing your child with the new man, unless it is absolutely neccessary. IF you split up obviously neither of you wanted to be together, or is there a love connection still involved, that may something to really soul search about, especially if you are always talking to your ex and it is affecting your new relationship.
My ex and I dont get along so it was never a problem, although I did freak out when I saw my son with his new girlfriend. Good luck it will get better with time.
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| Posts: 16 | Location: Williamsville, NY | Registered: 16 August 2004 | |
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