I have a 7 yr old who is as bright as can be. She's well rounded and all the things you would expect for that age. However this is the first year of her living with me. We've been riding an emotional rollercoaster all year. I know she needs time to adjust to her new surroundings, but I think she would do better if I limit the time she spends going back and forth between me and her mother. I don't want to take away from their relationship but I feel that she still looks to her mother expecting comfort. How can I redirect her emotions and help her to focus on her new environment.

Hey Wade,

Cutting her off from her mom is a baaaaaad idea. Can you talk to your ex-wife about how she can support you? If you can then the best thing would be to work together at helping your daughter adjust. You cannot expect your kiddo to completely revise her emotional polarity just because you as parents have made a decision about living arrangements.

If getting your X's help is not an option then you may want to consider looking into some counseling (for you not your daughter). She's behaving pretty normally if you consider that her whole world has just been revised on her. Be patient, be kind, be understanding -- she's just a kid and does not have your coping skills so she does the best she can with what she's got. Let her know how much you love her (I don't mean smother her). This is done primarily by making your presence known in the sense that your actions convey that you are there for her no matter what. Stay open and try not to take her attachment to her mom as a personal insult (it's not).

Good luck, it ain't easy but building a close relationship with your daughter will be the most precious thing you can give her in the years to come.

Marni

You could try talking to her mother and see if you two can work together. If not it is best NOT to break the bond that is already established. I think that by showing her respect of her emotions she will feel more comfortable with opening up to you.

But usually bonds come with quality time, like team work situations that the two of you are going through together now and if you work it out right a bond will be established.

If wrong she may distance herself from you even more.

Hope that helps some.

Good luck
Robin