Hi! I'm a new member. I was looking for some guidance at how to handle my situation...
My ex and I were never married. We split up when our son was a year old. He is now 5, and my ex and I have rekindled our relationship. We're taking it slowly and communicating about the problems we had in the past and how we're going to work around them to prevent them from happening again. What I'm confused about is how to explain this to our son. He was so young when we split up, that he has no memory of us having been together. Lately, we've been doing things as a family and he seems to really enjoy that. My ex and I had a few rocky months after our break-up, but for the most part have had a good, working relationship leading up until now. I sensed that on a recent outing my son may have possibly been a litle jealous that I was going along on an excursion w/he and his father. Almost like I was invading their father/son time. I could have misread it, but it seems like a logical presumption. I have primary custody of him, so the days he spends w/his father are special. Does anyone have any advice as to how to handle this, and how much to expose him to? Or, how to explain it to him?

Welcome dreamax!

I always enjoy stories where families try to work things out and from what you wrote it seems like it's going in a positive direction.

When you're changing the dynamics of your family (M + C + (D)) everyone has to start adjusting. It's not a bad thing.

I think your 5 year old hasn't learned to be with M and D together. I think its normal since my married friends complain about the same thing. The daugher ignores mom and wants dad's attention exclusively when he comes home from work.

quote:

Does anyone have any advice as to how to handle this, and how much to expose him to?

If the both of you are commited in working your issues out and not just talk about it (even seek professional counseling if need be) I don't see a problem with your son enjoying time with mom and dad together.

If the both of you are "confused" and not genuine about working the issues out... you may be subjecting your son to the "confusion" which may make him feel insecure.

These are just genralizations and opinions. Other posters here may have a different opinions ( we don't need to reach concensus).

You need to consider letting your son still have time alone with his dad, all kids like time alone with just one parent, so the dad will need to under stand that too.

I agree with Tessmit on the rest.

Think dad of 3+3 makes a really good point. Maybe if you went along on every second outing or something like that it gives your son special time with his dad as well as getting used to spending time as a family.

As with anything involving a change of routine, it just takes kids time to adjust to a new situation. Before long he will be looking forward to his special "Dad" time and be excited to have "family" time as well.

good luck, hope things turn out well for you all.