ok i have had the conversation many times with my x about her movingback in with me. untill i met the love of my life i was all about this if not for me for the kids so they would have a mom. every time though i would change my mind because i would think about what it was befor and it would prolly not changed at all since then. this is not an option now but what are your alls opionions? will an x change or as soon as they have you go right back to what they did worse?

quote:

Originally posted by Kayley's Mommy:
there is no way that i could take back kayley's father .. everything that he told me about him lie, he cheated

oh i could never take back mine either but almost did several times. it would have ended up the same though. she has not changed and prolly never will. but then again either have i and im the same sarcastic a hole i was 4 years ago

I think people can change but they have to want to change.
The thing about going back to a situation is do you remember why you left it in the first place? Sometimes we romantacize situations so that we remember them different. Then if we get back into the situation and things start to fall by the waist side we remember Oh yeah thats why I left this stuff behind me.
But I do not think there is one answer that covers every situation.

quote:

Originally posted by Kayley's Mommy:
my ex needs to be on island with just cheaters, liars, somewhat deaddads and moms.

is he really a deadbeat since he is making his payments! he is about split the roof. He is beening served again with amounts of daycare. i just want to be a bug on the wall..

ok that just mean.. Erik calls bye

from what i heard lately send him on vacation to hawaii lol

Pretty deep thinking for middle of the day...but...I tend to think that...
...If My Ex really were to change...they would a totally different person and the "need" for me" and vice versa...would no longer be there.

lol nice a caring heart at last. you know when my x said she was gonna start paying child support...........(never happened) i was gonna put it aside so she could get a plane ticket to come see her kids so they could see thier mom. yea no child support no plane ticket. not gonna happen if she ever does then wow it will go for something they need and thats def not thier mom

IMO, move forwards not back. It's so easy to slip back into an old way of being because that's the only way that particular relationship knew how to relate with each other. It takes what .. 23 days to change a habit but if you're dealing with a bag full of tricks that need to be changed .. good luck!

Meh, move on. Ex's are ex's for a reason and more often than not, that second (third) chance proves to be worse then the inital break-up .. and all for what?

Yep, I agree with miss jess there...my philosophy too, move forward and not backwards...

I could jump off a bridge, take on a bear without a weapon, step in a room with a king cobra who is hungry and fight it bare handed, but don't EVER expect me to getback with my EX, that would just be suicidal!

Ok, jokes aside even though I think that comment does sum up how I feel about getting back with my ex. I do believe that people can change, even my ex-wife, but she can change somewhere else because I don't want to see her naked anymore.

Seriously, people can change but your expectations and what you been through with a person won't. You always think about the past with a person and at least with someone new you realize that they are not your ex, they may not be capable of the things she was. Your ex you can never say that about so you know it could happen all over again which is what you normally fear ina relationship anyways. How could you be comfortable in a relationship when you know the persn you are with is capable of hurting you in the was he or she already has?

Just food for thought, now I am hungry ... I need food!

quote:

Originally posted by miss jes:
IMO, move forwards not back. It's so easy to slip back into an old way of being because that's the only way that particular relationship knew how to relate with each other. It takes what .. 23 days to change a habit but if you're dealing with a bag full of tricks that need to be changed .. good luck!

Meh, move on. Ex's are ex's for a reason and more often than not, that second (third) chance proves to be worse then the inital break-up .. and all for what?

MJ

I follow the same rules. I know my boys wish I would get back together with my EX. It's never going to happen. I physically get sick and start having panic attacks when he's in the same room. I can drive across the country but if I knew I was going to pick up the boys at his place... can't do it. I freeze.

quote:

Just food for thought, now I am hungry ... I need food!

:throwing Glenn a kolache, an orange, and some tatter totts. ooooops:

Make a list with positives in your relationship history and negatives. More than likely if it is your ex, the negatives will greatly outweigh the positives and you will have your answer. I too agree with others who have posted. You should move on.

Trying not to sound moralistic and judgemental but seriously, if someone abandons their children they need an ***load of therapy. (In my non-professional opinion.) I'd have to be able to look my ex in the eyes, hear the things I needed to hear, and actually believe it. That pretty much rules out any reconcilliation for me. I don't know how it was for you but my family falling apart almost killed me. While trying not to be severly jaded I am definitely going to be careful about my next situation and my ex would have to re-invent the wheel to fit into any of my plans.

Not bitter,

John

you should get back to her,

quote:

Originally posted by dad22:
Trying not to sound moralistic and judgemental but seriously, if someone abandons their children they need an ***load of therapy. (In my non-professional opinion.) I'd have to be able to look my ex in the eyes, hear the things I needed to hear, and actually believe it. That pretty much rules out any reconcilliation for me. I don't know how it was for you but my family falling apart almost killed me. While trying not to be severly jaded I am definitely going to be careful about my next situation and my ex would have to re-invent the wheel to fit into any of my plans.

Not bitter,

John

What John said

+1

Dawg