...For being afraid to remarry?

I've been told that I'm "trying to ruin a good relationship" because I'm scared of getting remarried.

I think for many of us, the fear of what happened "last time" impacts our ability to look towards the future.

'Cause certainly, no one wants to go through that again!

Spot on Captmatrix! Divorce ranks as THE worst thing that has ever happened to me. It is not a terminal illness, but I have never felt so close to death in my entire life. The only way not to experience that again is to never marry again. I get what's wrong with that logic, but it'll be a long while before I'm ready to think any other way.

It would take a LOT for me to get remarried. I would need to trust as near to 100% as possible that it would not end badly. And no, there is no such guarantee in life as 100% but I'd need to think that just about only an act of God would bring something up that would end the relationship. I've only been married once, and have also had other long term relationships (longer than my marriage) and those obviously did not make it. I nearly got married a second time and glad I did not go through with it...that would most definitely have been my second divorce.
With that said though, yes I do hold out some hope that I will still find that someone that makes me really have to contemplate...should I or should I not, instead of would I or would I not. As cautious as I've become I'd like to think that if I got to the point of "should I or should I not" that I wouldn't be so skeptical and/or afraid that I would do it. After all, it really will take a LOT for me to even get to that point of considering it.

I think I'm the same way...just being extremely cautious. I mean, when there are kids involved, that is smart (IMO). Am I being too cautious though? To the point that I'm TRYING to talk myself out of it? I know it's hard to say without the details of my relationship.

I'm so lovin this thread!!!

Cause this is Soooooo silly! Everyone knows that you can list all the reasons in the world for not marrying...for not thinking of marriage...for not EVEN having a serious relationship!! YET, if the right person walks in front of you .....you're all gonna go "GA GA" for them ....and start thinkin..."Well...Hmmm...maybe..if.... ...just maybe.... "

Yeah....I DO know from experience...so I dont say "Never again...anymore".

LOL

Obviously this just little old me's HO.

Yeah!....EVEN AMY!!

LOL

I tend to agree with Paulie,here....I said EXACTLY the same thing so many others do....(I'll never marry again....etc.)Then...BAM!!!! I got smitten all over again....I said I would never....but I did.
I said No way....but it was yes...the whole way through.
So, in the words of our wise friend, Paul....never say never again

See I think I am in a place where I may be sabotaging even my ability to get involved with another person to avoid going to the "ga ga" place with him. I do feel a little lonely though, so something's gotta give.

But the thought of being a two-time divorcee, a Ms. Something-dash-Something-dash-Something---oh no way! Or worse yet, two baby daddies and then hit the road AGAIN trying to find Mr. Right. Not I!

quote:

Or worse yet, two baby daddies and then hit the road AGAIN trying to find Mr. Right. Not I!

...This would be me...one child from my Ex husband and one from Ex fiance. I'm in the same boat, thinking WHAT IF I do get remarried and have another child and it doesn't work out. It scares the **** out of me.

Exactly, and there are only two ways to prevent that from happening, and only one is under your control: don't get married again.

I might ALSO add to my prior post that I'm back with my ex husband....well, my second ex-husband...I know, I know.
But we have 2 kids (teens) together and we have long history of knowing and loving (and yes, hating) one another....so.
Ya know in all seriousness....I would NOT want to start all over again with the dating thing with anyone else....it scares me, too. And I do understand and sympathize with what you all are saying and feeling. There is security in Max (my ex) cause we KNOW each other and my kids ARE HIS kids!

quote:

cause we KNOW each other and my kids ARE HIS kids!

And that is the very reason I often think about getting back together with my ex fiance.

If I feel this way about "marriage"...then how do you think I would feel about "dating"????
Like, it just wouldn't happen....most likely. I would not mind teh occasional get together as friends and some good laughs, etc...but I know me and the minute I began feeling something stronger than friendship, or thought he did too...I would try to back out or keep distance between us.
I've done that before....it's just too scarey.
They will promise you the moon....you fall for it.....it ends.....you're stuck with the kids...and his bills which are now YOURS, after marriage.

Erin...I TOTALLY understand.
My ex (Max) and I are now living together....and the kids lOVE it. They love having daddy around....and let's be honest...I NEED him right now with these teens. My boy esp. needs his dad.
We have talked about remarrying AGAIN....but I want to wait it out a while longer....tryin' to be cautious....or....???