Being a sinlge mother, and being in my late 30s now, I feel like my worthiness as an available someday future bride has decreased in value.
I feel like people look at me as just extra luggage now. So, that leaves me with the feelings of living a future as a perpetual single mother.
No, I am not bitter. Just a little. I never did get to have another baby because I let my bf I had been dating tell me we were not ready. Well, he was not ready. No, I don't want to be a single mother all over again But, I am open to give it another shot.

Well, since you didnt actually ASK a question, I'm not quite sure how to respond to your post, except to say this....
Re: your age and worth.... Now, I'm not Prince charming...but, I passed up some very...ahem..."nice" 20 something year old women to find my current GF of mid 30 something. Some of us men, like...ahem... Women...not "girls".

Good Luck and Welcome to the "nuthouse". LOL

Californiasunshine...Welcome to the forum, you are worth more than you know I am sure you will find some new things to occupy your time so that you don't feel like you really don't have much to do..join a singles group maybe, I live in California also & I am looking.I was already a single mother of a 6 y/o and I wanted so badly to have another child before I turned 30, now that I am 5 mo pregnant and (single again) I really know the meaning of be careful what you wish for because it does bother me from time to time I will be doing this alone again!

I now know to simply enjoy life day to day and thank God for what I have now & not for what I want him to give me later!

Honey, the only one who can place a value on you is YOU. And whether you are conscious of it or not, you will attract people to you based on what you think of yourself. If you think so little of yourself, a man will come along and treat you like a dirty shoe.

Dont worry so much about finding someone else. Dont worry too much about having another kid. If god means for that to happen it will whether you think you planned it or not. Try to just be happy with who you are even if you never find another man. That way you can let some happiness in and maybe the right man will come along. Having no man is better than having the wrong man.

Oh, and by the way...40 is the new 30, so you've got at least an extra decade of shelf life.

LOL

I am 54 with a 5yo does that mean that I am past shelf life?

Oh it's a whole other thing with men. You all getter better looking as you age.

We do? hmm... so that' means I'll finally be hottie at 80??!!

Golden Girls ...watch out!!

LOL

quote:

Originally posted by californiasunshine:
Being a sinlge mother, and being in my late 30s now, I feel like my worthiness as an available someday future bride has decreased in value.
I feel like people look at me as just extra luggage now. So, that leaves me with the feelings of living a future as a perpetual single mother.
No, I am not bitter. Just a little. I never did get to have another baby because I let my bf I had been dating tell me we were not ready. Well, he was not ready. No, I don't want to be a single mother all over again But, I am open to give it another shot.

Many women find it harder to get married (without "settling") after about 30, whether people want to be honest about it or not...men can be even 40 and still be considered prime material...a woman starts getting labeled "mature" and other wrinkly sounding names (in the dating world, not in all contexts) after 30.

I think if you don't LOOK like extra luggage, you'll be fine. Meaning do you make the effort to exercise, have things to talk about, experiences you've had, other than being a parent, are you involved and seemingly happy with where you are in life and also improving it? Keep yourself looking nice, wear flattering clothes, get your hair and nails nicely done, and think about what kind of guy deserves you.

I made a decision to get involved with church, and get my children involved in church activities. Finding a great church with a ton of active children's activities and lively singles and children's ministries is key to being able to interact with people who are spiritually inclined and less likely to approach you as baggage. It's also more likely to give you a positive feeling about yourself and life, and it's that kind of confidence and positivity that makes people draw close.

Good luck!

quote:

Originally posted by missabb:
Honey, the only one who can place a value on you is YOU. And whether you are conscious of it or not, you will attract people to you based on what you think of yourself. If you think so little of yourself, a man will come along and treat you like a dirty shoe.

Dont worry so much about finding someone else. Dont worry too much about having another kid. If god means for that to happen it will whether you think you planned it or not. Try to just be happy with who you are even if you never find another man. That way you can let some happiness in and maybe the right man will come along. Having no man is better than having the wrong man.

Bingo Missabb

I also wanted to add, that if you feel your luggage around certain people that may make you feel that way, then chose some different people who resonate with you at a higher level.
Many of us pass judgement on other people's way of life. To me, you need to find someone who sees life more positively and who is empowering that you do not feel yourself as being luggage, because it wouldn't exist in their own minds.

quote:

Originally posted by Singleparentcoach:

quote:

Originally posted by missabb:
Honey, the only one who can place a value on you is YOU. And whether you are conscious of it or not, you will attract people to you based on what you think of yourself. If you think so little of yourself, a man will come along and treat you like a dirty shoe.

Dont worry so much about finding someone else. Dont worry too much about having another kid. If god means for that to happen it will whether you think you planned it or not. Try to just be happy with who you are even if you never find another man. That way you can let some happiness in and maybe the right man will come along. Having no man is better than having the wrong man.

Bingo Missabb and Bingo Singleparentcoach!!

I also wanted to add, that if you feel your luggage around certain people that may make you feel that way, then chose some different people who resonate with you at a higher level.
Many of us pass judgement on other people's way of life. To me, you need to find someone who sees life more positively and who is empowering that you do not feel yourself as being luggage, because it wouldn't exist in their own minds.

Bingo Miss

quote:

Originally posted by californiasunshine:
Being a sinlge mother, and being in my late 30s now, I feel like my worthiness as an available someday future bride has decreased in value.
I feel like people look at me as just extra luggage now. So, that leaves me with the feelings of living a future as a perpetual single mother.
No, I am not bitter. Just a little. I never did get to have another baby because I let my bf I had been dating tell me we were not ready. Well, he was not ready. No, I don't want to be a single mother all over again But, I am open to give it another shot.

Hey californiasunshine,

don't be so depressible, you should know you are not alone and not only you who are single parents n want to be beautiful brides again. So you just go out and date with others as normal and you should tell him you got a kid and the one who love should never mind you have kids. I know so many single parents remarried, i think you will too

Being newly divorce here are the rules I set in my head, I don't know if it will help you.
1. I am me, mommy, teacher, goof ball like it or not.
2. I will only allow someone into my life if I think they are worthy and if they value me and my life (including my children or course).
3. There are a billion people in the world, surely I could have a nice time with one of them!!
4. I have to believe that men are just as self conscious and nervous as women can be sometimes.