hi, i know this aold post but i agree with mickey. if he alovingamn take this realtionship where it,s at. my bf, has not met only one my kids. i was told there no hurry and ,he might be right for me more the kids at this time.my to kids have disabitys and usely ,it,s hard for any one to understand.my bf hs not run from me. i was going have met the kids soon, but ex cause more issuses , so it best to leave as iam only dateing him, not get kids invovled . plus realtionship ,works out i dont know i can marry him cause kids,help they get and we might have have seprated hoses cause this also. so it,s best leave this realtionship were it ,s at and maybe yours is ok to, he sem like a good catch

This matter has gotten way too complicated (and this is a very old thread)for me to have a specific opinion on. But for some of you it seems that "men" can't be viewed favorably no matter what they do. In other posts, a guy dumps you when your pregnant and runs off he's a no good scumbag (which he is). But SOME of you talk of how you still love him and want him back which is hard to understand.

And then you have this guy who comes along and seems to love her and her kids. But SOME of the women posting above are appalled at his nerve to consider legal ramifications after giving 3 years of his life to this relationship. Can SOME of you women understand how some of us men look at this and are dumbfounded?? You yearn for the no-good "bad boy" who ran off and left you, and yet condemn this guy (who's NOT the father who comes into (and stays) in her life) for seeking some legal/financial protection.

Wow.

Lol...lotsa dads on all of a sudden. Welcome!

I'd like to see a discussion on this actually I'm always one for heated debate...just be sure to keep things friendly.

Any ladies wanna comment on what this guys' said?

Later,
Bobby

Oh this is a difficult situation, I feel that you should give more time to understand each other and reduce the financial insecurity that is there, if that is the only problem.

Here's the thing. You can only control what you do. This guy may very well be a good man. He may, in fact, love M3M's kids. Given the law in Canada, I can hardly blame him for being cautious, especially if he has already been through the demise of one relationship. I myself am in a relationship where there is no easy answer. So, here's what you do. You work on yourself. You pursue your own interests, and become the person that you want to be. Not just the person who wants to be married and have this vision of a happy life, but figure out what could make you happy and sustain you in life even if you never had a commitment from any man. If you do that, things will fall into place. Either this guy will begin to see you for the wonderful woman that he cant live without or things will die off with him and someone else will come along. Either way, you will be closer to being the person you want to be. Less focus on this decision and more time wpent with your kids, and doing things that you enjoy. That's my approach. I'll let you know if it works.

I thought I would just stop and say Missabb every well said...if one is not happy with whom they are...How can you be happy with someone in a relationship...

I am not sure what the correct answer is....But I am struggling with a similar situation. I live in a small house & barely make enough money to make ends meet. The difference is my boyfriend lives in dad's house not his own. I too like you and trying to figure out if it is selfish of me to want it all. (dating 2yrs)
I think that your man & mine have a problem with total commitment. But in your situation it seems cruel & unfair to not share the home with you & your children.
I wish you the best of luck with your decision.