Had an anxiety attack again today. Took an early lunch and went outside so no one would notice. My heart rate is still up there, I'm feeling cold with chills, yet I also feel like I'm sweating . . . dont like it!!!

Hey Sarah, sorry to hear you're suffering through that today. I can offer one of these - hope it helps some.

Fairly sure you're not supposed to like it, my friend. Been there done that too, and it reeeeeaaaally sucks, not being in control like that. All hail St. Xanax......

Anyway, best thing short of meds I found was to distract yourself somehow, plunge into work (at work) or some sort of immersive media at home (movie or book) or even some rigorous physical activity.

I dont get it. Last night I was fine and then today, wham on the way to work and then at work. I just can't understandwhere its coming from. It needs to stop. I can do deep breathing at work like my therapist said (yes I've started therapy). I dont want to feel bad. I now have a headache and I am still feeling cold/hot.

Thanks for the hug Trip.

Bin, I'm sure you didn't mean "coffee" by the rigorous statement. lol Apparently I can still have gutter mind when I'm feeling icky! Go figure!

I do think that I'm going to go home, make a simple dinner and relax with Kai. I'm thinking its so hot out that she'll want to go to the beach but I dont think I can feeling like this.

No didn't mean coffee....although that'd be nice....

I'm sorry Sweetie. I hate that you are having these anxiety attacks. I wish I could have them for you so that you wouldn't have to go through it. Sending you my thoughts, prayers and a BIG hug...

poor bug! so sorry to hear you are not as happy as you make those around you. come to chat tonight and see if you can break out of your shell and feel better.... maybe a bunny would help? or is that a rabbit? amy will know

Yes, Laurie!...LOVE the new pic! You both are so cute!

Yes, love the new pics LC - yours too Erin. I think 'bullet' might be what you were thinking of ?

Well then . . . actually it was a rabbit that Amy was telling me about. My bullet broke a while ago so I've had to . . . manually tune.

Thanks for the happy thoughts and hugs. YOu guys have no idea how much you mean to me. Really!

My stepmom has begun pushing buttons again. I can't take it anymore. Apparently, the following apply to me:

- never make it in life without help
- never get a good man if you aren't skinny
- never graduate college
- never be able to fully afford to support Kai
- never going to make it anywhere in life other than being a broke down single mom

Its great that my stepmom thinks so much of me.

thanks on the new pics - i was afraid i looked like 'man hands' from seinfeld - lol

erin sunshine loooove yours too! you are a F-U-N FUN mom!! such terrific smiles. i put faith on my shoulders all the time too and she always comes down with chunks of hair! yowza

bug - hang in there, i know stepmoms are evil - i used to be one! life has a funny way of leveling the playing field. one day she will need your help and you will show her what grace and class is when you are there for her - and oh how powerful that lesson will be for kai. mommy will teach her about taking the high road. so keep that cute as a bug head held high, smile and this too shall pass.

now back to your battery budget revisions....

I had one a month ago as well. I ended up leaving work and going to the doctor. I was told anxiety attacks are biological and there doesn't have to be a 'crisis' in order to get one.

Adavans work,,, so well the other night I was cooking steaks on the BBQ, one of my girls got help, seems I wasen't really there(ugh), then my 16yr old was helping me to bed, and I had a flat tire, weird night.

Oh, yeah, the black eye and blood are healing nicly, ugh

What the heck happened to you Lurch?

So now I get this offline message from my sister after I was on the phone with her and I raised my voice to Kai after she pulled my hair:

sometimes you really worry me about how mean you are to Kai, it's not her fault you are annoyed, she is just a little girl, not even four. I'm not telling you how to be a mother, just maybe step back and think about how you talk or rather yell at her all the time. I hope this doesn't make you mad at me, but I've sat back and not said anything for a while and want you to know what other people are seeing.

I was just saying that maybe you don't always need to be yelling at her, I don't ever see you nice to her! And i'm not the only one to be saying that. Just the only one brave enough to say it TO YOU


So apparently now i'm a bad mother. well i can now see where my night is going. . .

quote:

My stepmom has begun pushing buttons again. I can't take it anymore. Apparently, the following apply to me:

- never make it in life without help
- never get a good man if you aren't skinny
- never graduate college
- never be able to fully afford to support Kai
- never going to make it anywhere in life other than being a broke down single mom

Well for what it's worth...and I'm sure I'm not alone here....

Personally I happen to love helpless broken down single moms who can't afford their children because they never graduated college because they weren't skinny enough to wear the robe...rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Sarah...invite her over for hot cocoa and put some chocolate ex-lax in hers.....

Then when she's running back home you and Kai sit in the window and do this....

Woa that's harsh! Your step mom sounds like she has it in for you for some reason. How long have you known her? She sounds like a <beep> and that's an understatement. Take her with a grain of salt.

As for your sister, I'm glad she was at least "trying" to put it gently, even though it may not of come off like she did. It doesn't mean she's right though. It's just her opinion on how she sees things. We all have our own perceptions. I think anyone caught yelling at our kids can be accused of yelling too much and the only time we should start worrying is if we can see the truth in what we've heard. Do you think you yell at her too much?

Stepmom for 20 years this July 2.
Sister things she is helping apparently.

I do think that I could use something different rather than yell at Kai but for the most part, I dont yell at her much. I may raise my phone to let her know I am serious but I only yell at her when she's really ignoring me and just plain old being a little girl that wants to rebel.

The one thing I don't like about other people giving advice about the way I parent is the fact that they don't offer any suggestions... just criticism. How is that suppose to help?

Sarah... you're a good mom! as most great single parent knows... when you know better, you'll do better.

Yelling promotes selective hearing with my oldest son.... bribery works the best especially when he wants the power cord to his XBox. I guess that doesn't help with younger kiddos.

I showed Joey last night what my sister was saying and while she may have meant well, it sure the h3ll didn't come across well.

She is apparently thinking that I would actually beat my child! How she got from me raising my voice or yelling at Kai to beating her, I have no clue!? I also dont know why she seems to feel the need to tell me that what I'm doing with Kai is wrong.

First off, I hate when I yell at her. I always feel like shyte afterwards and I cry if I even spank her. I hate it! These are the things I dont like about being a mom. Sometimes you have to raise your voice to get your child to listen and although I said I would never spank Kai, I have twice given her a real spankin and it tore me apart! She didn't act up again in that way afterwards, which means I got my point across but I still felt horrible.

I have lots of days where I think I'm a horrible mother. Where I think of how I can do things more positive and different.

KAI IS HAPPY, HEALTHY AND A GOOD KID! I dont think I'm a bad parent, although I know that yelling at her probably isn't the best thing to do but sometimes it seems that's the only way to get her attention. I dont yell at her all the time as my sister seems to think.

Most times when I see my sister, we are shopping or outside and I'm sorry but when Kai starts trying to run toward