Ok, so I’m sure this topic has come up, so I apologize if it's redundant, but I’m new here... Anyways, I'm a single mom of a 10 year old girl and 12 year old boy, and the issue here is my boy. I think i walked in on him doing the boy deed... you know i what i mean, I suppose most boys/guys go through this and experiment with their bodies, yaddah yaddah... What happened was, i walked into the room as he was watching TV (family room) and he said "get out, I'm itching my balls" so i walked away and said "are you done yet" and he was pretty mad at me for interrupting him so i pretty much just said ick go wash your hands and left it at that. Should I have talked to him more about it or just handle it like it's his business? He doesn’t really like to talk to me about many birds & bees topics, but he doesn’t have any guys to talk to ever, so how can he figure out the answers to his questions? I can’t believe my baby is this old now. GOD!

Wow...Ok...so that's a good one.

First of all...the opinions on whether that is bad or good will be both pro and con here...so I'll avoid that subject.

But, I'd start by ...LOL..AVOIDING saying anything like "ewwww" or "yuck" or sounding disgusted. If you do that....He will NEVER talk to you about it.

There are lots of brochures, pamphlets and the like including stuff online you can use to breach the subject...but I'd start by making sure that you have a good trusting relationship first.

Hope that helps...and ...
Welcome to the Forum.

its a good one. sorry no suggestions or advise.

ok all boys do this at one point of thier life (cept me of course) lol

I agree with paul on that saying ewww or andthing along those lines is a no no. walk right back out if you happen to walk in on him. (you can puke later) other than that i hope i never have to walk in on my kids

I reacted somewhat the same way. I was dreading this part of parenting.

We discussed the need for privacy and even suggested how he could tell me not to open the bedroom door. Sometimes it looked like he wasn't listening, other times he started yelling at me.

Talking to a guy friend... he told me teenagers don't have any "control" yet. So they are learning how to handle it. (correct me if I'm wrong guys) they pop up at the most inconvient times and they haven't learned how to get up from their chair at school without anyone knowing. something about the hormones going crazy and all the s*xual suggestive commercials on TV are 10xs more suggestive to a teenager.

Anyway, I can't tell anymore and I think he's learned to manage it... especially since my younger son doesn't yell out "Mom, he has a boner again!!!"

oh and always remember in the game of poker you dont need a wild card when you have a good hand!

Its normal for a boy his age

granted I never well I was cleaning it once and it went off

But your best bet if he is doing it in the living room is to simply tell him happy time is best done in his room with the door locked.

be a cool mom leave your Vicky's secret catalogs out for the poor kid.

and well its most definitely time for the talk

I"m sure he was just as embarrassed by this as you were

I agree, time for the talk. I also agree avoid the "Ewww" and the "yuck". Granted you don't want to see it happening, but reality is it happens. Talk to him, maybe explain there are better times and places, but that it is only natural and he can always come to you to talk.

LOL...you guys kill me...I'm a man....I'll admit it.

I'm thinking that for most of us, Men...the first time it went off was while cleaning...LOL

And yes, I'll admit to taking matters in my own hands as needed. While I was married there were time I was asked to...lol...just so I wouldnt "bother" my wife so much.

What can I say...some "appetites" are bigger than others....and strangley enough...it gets worse as you get older.

You just learn to be more "in control" as you get older.

And by the way, as a youngun..it is totally out of control.... .....has nothing to do with TV or cute gurls....I can remember having an "episode"...LOL...during an English test.

Anyhow...yep....you need to talk with him...but even before that...work on making sure you CAN talk to him.

I hear you Paul

granted I think I was worse when I was kid I remember trying to race the TV commercials

Didn't take much back then

ahhh the good ole day's

its a rough time looking back but at the time it was like playing solitaire just something to do when you had some time to kill

As a grown up you find better ways

and that act loses its thrill and begins to not be worth the effort, time and clean up involved

Don't stress it and remember he needs his private time too

OMG

This is too funny..

Happy hour?

Brings back memories when my son came home from school and he talked to me about *** education ...he was so thrilled to have learned about "happy time"....grrrrrrrrreat...

I did walk in on my son by mistake..luckily he was covered...at the tiem I couldn't figure out why had had so much kleenex in his room??? duh...

okay, so the "cleanliness" talk had to come in...*sigh*

I was a bit startled when that happened, but I just said "oops" and walked out real fast. Pretended I saw nothing.

LOL

OMG... As I am reading this I dread Quinton getting older and going through this... I have NO idea how I will handle it... I freak just thinking about it. Hopefully I will be married by then so I can pawn it off on my husband as his duty to talk to him because I just don't think I can do it! Why can't I just fast forward this part of life? haha

LMao, would be great to fast forward everytime the hubby nags...

ROTFLMAO

These comments have really enlightened my perspective I really needed to know that my saying ewww... (LOL I was a little grossed out) was wrong and that our communication doors need to stay open.
I know boys will be boys but knowing that he might not be able to control it, I think I’ll put off bringing it up until it happens again / WHEN it happens again and IF I catch him again. And just explain that that he needs to keep it clean and if he’s going to do that then go someplace private (but where)
This I’m sure is the least of my worries for a long time to come. I’m more worried about drugs, criminal activates and internet **** than anything else.

Thanks everyone!

ive had talks with my kids dr. My youngest is to young to start doing that but he had a problem touching him self. the dr told me to explain to him that its ok to do that just keep it in your room because it is a personal thing not to be seen by anyone else. mabey that would help

Yes I think that would be a good way of explaining it.

quote:

Originally posted by nine_to_five:
and he said "get out, I'm itching my balls"

That's one way of putting it! LOL
Next time just warn him to go into his room next time. I don't think you need to say anything more than that. I walked in on my son once when he was 4-5, exploring. Surprised me but he just said he was 'cleaning' it. I just said, "Ok" and walked out. No need for conversation LOL

I know this is a serious post, and I'm certainly empathasizing with your situation, nine to five, but I have to say I've been REALLY enjoying the responses from our SFV boys.

I mean REALLY! Like laughing out loud enjoyment!

Dallas? A good hand?

Bishop? Like playing solitaire?

Paul? During an English test? I'm so glad I don't teach junior high!

paul dont let her get to you. lol i had problems in math. lol i guess a good equation just gets me all excited

oh for pete's sake Dallas...

Dallas is right I can remember how hard *snicker* Jr. high was

I'm not so worried about catching the boy

but I'm not dumb I worry more about catching my girl

I've heard some pretty twisted things girls have uhhmm well used while experimenting

Why can't they both stay young and innocent forever

OMG you poor woman! I would not know what to do!

I heard my 6 year old get out of bed the other morning and say to my 8 year old "Look Jimmy my p**** is sticking straight up" and then my 8 year old said "Duh, it does that every morning" and my six year old says "well im just gonna put my underwear over it". It was cute, weird and just icky all at once. I didnt say anything, I am just glad it was nothing I had to say anything to.

I caught my bf actually a few weeks ago, i had left for work and he was home alone and I realized I forgot something and headed back home quickly and he was having a good time in the living room, lol. I knew he did it from time to time especially when we dont have time to have fun in the morning before work but catching him was a whole other thing. I was totally startled and yelled at him and said he grossed me out. I felt so bad about 5 minutes later when i realized I probably really hurt his feelings. At least that was with my bf and I will now know better than to act like that if I catch my boys (and I hopefully never will!)

I think the only advise I can give is to try to ignore it and tell him to do it in private. Good Luck!