Hello, I am a single mom of a 14 year old son. About 6 1/2 years ago we left our home state of California and moved to Arkansas. I decided to move because I was on welfare, living with friends, wrecked my car and many other reasons. I just felt like I needed to get away for awhile and try something new. My dad moved to Arkansas years ago and was always trying to talk me into moving to AR. I did not want to leave CA but was ready for a change. Since living in AR my son has pretty much grown up here. Lately I have been thinking about going back to California. Since living in Arkansas I have kept a steady job and stayed off welfare, have a house even though Im just renting and it has been alright here. Problem is I am not happy here. Over the past 2 years I told my self that if it doesnt get better and I get happy than I will go back. I have 'friends' here well maybe I should say I have co-worker friends here. I dont hang out with them outside of work. I dont really have any family here except my dad, which I dont see very often. Now that I have decided that I do want to and think I am ready to go back now my son does not want to go. He says he will if I go but he doesnt want to have to make all new friends again. I am torn on what to do because he is at that age and I know that its hard to make new friends but also know that he can!! Has anyone been in this situation and moved back to another state with teens? If so please share your experiences.

I've never been in your situation, but it sounds like it might be better if you could just stick it out in AR until your son graduates. You seem to have been able to build a stable life for him there. If you were moving due to a great career opportunity i might feel differently...do you have any job prospects out there? I just don't see the point in uprooting just for the heck of it.

I don't really read here why Cali is what would make you happy??? Sounds like things are going great there and unless there's more that I'm not reading about why the move, I just have to wonder why relocate.
I know that's not what you're asking but it's what came to mind reading...
I don't really have any personal experience moving with teens but have seen plenty that have done it with mixed results.

Thanks for the replies. The reason why I want to move is because I am not happy here in AR. I feel like my life is kinda going nowhere. All of my friends and family want me back there. My grandma (who is in CA) made a statement a few years that all her kids and grandkids are all moving away and she cant see them. It made me feel bad for her. My job will transfer there so Im not really worried about work. The reasons why I think CA will make me more happier is because it is still home to me. I have more of a life there. I feel like the last few years here my life is just going downhill. By that I mean I feel I am in a "depressed" mood all the time. All I do is go to work and come home day after day. It never changes. Same **** different day!!! I feel that I can make it out there and not have the same problems as I had when I chose to move here. Like I said, I have been wanting to go back home for a couple years now then I end up staying here. As time has went on I still want to go back. I cant quit thinking about it. I cant really talk to anyone I know about it cuz people here want me to stay and people there want me back there.

Ive talked to my son about it over and over again and he wants to go back to be closer to family but says he doesnt want to have to make new friends. Thats why I am so torn about what to do. The first few years we lived here he did want to go back. He just recently quit talking about going back home last year. His dad still lives in CA and we havent heard from him in about 8 months. It seems that since his dad quit calling now my son doesnt talk about going back home again. This has been the longest time his dad hasnt called him. If we do decide to go back I wouldnt transfer him in the middle of the school year. We would either go this summer before school starts or wait it out another year to see what happens and go next summer.

Will your son be starting high school this fall or next year? If you're dead set on moving (and i'm glad to hear your job will transfer you!) then ideally it would be best for him to start HS in Cali since all the freshman class will also be new to the high school.

It sounds like you're in a rut - of course i'm not trying to downplay what you're going through as i don't know your situation. If you can't pull yourself out of this funk then maybe you should talk it out with a professional counselor. Are you sure the probs you had in Cali won't resurface if you put yourself back in that environment?

My son will be going into 10th grade this fall. I have thought about going to see a counselor but it seems whenever I go back home to visit I am not depressed. I am always happy laughing, smiling, and having a good time. Then I come back here and it all changes. I cant be so sure my problems I had before would resurface but I think Ive grown up alittle since Ive been living here. I didnt have any work experience before and now I do, I dont hang out with the wrong kind of people anymore and I really think I would make it at home again