I am a single mother of twin boys that are 4 yrs old and a 8 yr old daughter. I live in Los Angeles. I work full time and live on my own and pay all my bills on my own. The father of my twin boys is not the biological father of my 8 yr old daughter but he has helped raise her since she was 2. When the boys were 3 mths old I caught him cheating and we broke up, ever since I have been doing everything on my own. I went to work , went to court for child support, and was awarded 446.00 a month for the boys. Here 4 yrs later I still am getting 446.00 month for the boys and up until now things between their father and I were ok. We had a visitation arrangement and I never asked for more money as long as he continued to see the boys and help me out once in a while with doctor appt's etc. Now he is in a serious relationship and is getting married soon. Ever since he has been in the relationship, his attitude towards helping me out has changed. The boys are entering pre school and everything is getting so expensive as they get older. The father of my daughter has never helped with support and is not involved. Lately I have been struggling so much just to keep a roof over our heads. The boy's father drives a brand new truck and now his fiance has moved in, which by the way drives a brand new sports car. I drive a 1987 jeep cherokee! I feel that it is so unfair that he always has money for extras and I am always struggling to cover neccesities. I am going to ask for more child support through the courts. I am really stressing out and am tired of doing everything on my own , any suggestions or similar scenarios ???

hi, I feel for you and wish I had something useful to tell you. I understand the frustration you have some what, I struggle at part time job. My ex has a full time job, I struggle to pay rent for an apt. my ex and his wife just own a house, I drive a ford festiva (barly running) and him and his wife drive new vehicles him a 2000 truck. And he coplains that he has paid 40$ a week for the last two years. Oh, just few more things he and his wufe own a boat & a trailer and they take (family) vactions every year and when they come home my daughter says mommy when are we taking a vaction now? So I guess what I'm rying to say is just be strong for you and your babies cause you will survive!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just hang in there I am going thru a similiar postion with my ex husband. He complains about the 80 dollars a week he has to pay me. He originally was ordered to pay me less than 50 dollars a week I will give him credit with in 4 months of the first order he raised the amount on his own with out me even asking then about 6 months after that he raised it again without me asking him . At that point I was recieving 65 dollars a week he then raised it another ten dollars when he got a pay raise all of these raises were within 16 months of the origianl. Howevr recently he has stopped paying now not only does he want me to ignore the 12 weeks I recieved nothing but he wants me to agree to a lwesser amount every week. I was originally willing to cut a deal and allow him to drop it to 75.00 a week which I know is less than the mandatory percentage of his pay checks I was also going to forgive some of the back child support, since he said he was struggling to catch up on his personal bills. However he is also in a relationship no big deal I actually am happy he found someone who can deal with his irratic behavior. There is only one problem while I have been willing to work with him and allow him to do less for our daughter so he can get back on his feet I have found out that he is living in a high rise apartment building in a large downtown metropolitian city. I also found out he is driving around in a 2002 Audi while I am driving around in a barely running 1989 Buick Skylark that is not even large enough for me and my other children. All I can say is that we all need to go to child support enforcement regardless of anything and have our cases reevaluated every time they change a job or a postion in a job.I know see that as I was thinking I was helping my daughters father thinking he was in a jam, he was really just using me to get better.
I know that I sound like a money hungry women and well maybe I do but why should he be allowed to live beyond his means while i am struggling.

Hi. I don't know exactly how it works in califonia...but in Ohio,,,you can have the child support re evaluated every three years. Sounds like it is about that time for you to do something about it. It won't be easy that's for sure...

Just try to get some legal aid....stick to it...and pray. maybe if he acts like a jerk...his new wife will see that he is not taking care of his children and wisen up. Good luck to you.

CaSandra

kissing your children always makes you feel better. They are the bright side of all of this. Keep their happiness as your goal and you can't go wrong! Hugs!

I kind of know what you are going through. I am 23 and a single mom of boy/girl twins. They are 16 months old and my other son is 2. I feel like I have triplets sometimes. I have been struggling since the babies were born. When I read what you wrote, tears came to my eyes because I know how hard it is, especially since I am only 23. Sometimes I think the only way we survive is because my son gets SSI. (He has a heart condition). Their father also cheated on me, but it was when I was pregnant. He ended up in jail a few days before the twins were born. I thank God that my family has been there for me. Without them, I don't know where my kids and I would be.
Right now, my biggest fear is that I won't find someone who wants to accept the fact that I have 3 kids and want to be a part of our lives.
I don't know if any of this makes your situation any easier, but it's so nice to hear that there are other moms like me, even though they aren't around here.

Reading your responces had me crying too. I am a 25 year old single mother of twin boys 15 months and I am trying my hardest to get by now. I know that as they get older things will get even more expensive. I am working 50-60 hours a week and I barely even get to see them. Not to mention how much I'm having to pay my babysitter. I feel bad about never being able to be with them but even working this much I still am just getting by. There father lives out of state and has always had big promises but never follows through with them. He says how much he cares about them and how much he does for them but what he actually does is a different story. He's seen them once for their 1st Birthday because I put up a big fuss that he needed to be there for it and was paying $400 a month for a couple of months. I lost count when he was over $900 behind. It upsets me too because he is always talking about how behind he is on his bills and how he can't help anymore. All I tell him is that it's a good thing I'm not like that. I also question what guy would be with a woman who already has 2 kids. I don't know how I would ever find the time to even go out on a date or spend with a guy. But every day when I come home to there smiling faces it seems to make everything worth it. All they have to do is laugh and it makes me forget about everything that went wrong that day. I think now how I should have changed things in my life but then I think about how I wouldn't have my boys and I couldn't imagine that. I'd appreciate any advise that anyone could give me that has been through it already. It's comforting to know that there are others like me.

Wow ladies! I always thought I was being screwed by my ex. I don't think any of you should put up with the complaints!!! I left my ex, yes, threw him out, and for a very long time he paid nothing. But I had the D.A. go after him and now they garnish his wages. I don't have to worry about any complaints about not having any money. And, he is ordered to pay me six hundred something for the twins (I have five year old twin girls) Let me tell you, my ex is one of the biggest losers I've ever met. I'm 25 and he's 31. I don't know what he is doing now either. But I do know, that whenvever he has a job, I get a portion of his check no matter what, and I also know that I'll be getting child support from him until he pays what he owes, which means it will be way after the twins turn 18. This doesn't bother me either, because I never expected to get anything from him. All of you out there, I praise you for doing it on your own, but don't haggle with your exes, if they give you problems, just go to the d.a. (btw, I live in los angeles too, so I don't know if the law is different other places, but I don't think it is)