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i know what you re talking about  my girls (eleonore & anna-sofie) were born may 22, 2003 and now i am pregnant with triplets (due nov 16 2004, if i make it that long). he wanted more kids, we used protection and everything but somehow i got agian pregnant - and i am only 22 - and that was too much for him. he can support them in the financial way but he does not really care anymore for the girls. he picks them up and everything but thats it. we even talk to each other again. this preg is hard on me now because i quite gained a lot already (nearly 35kg) becuase i hadnt even lost all from the girls (well all except 5kg) and my bust is huge. sometimes i think that i could nurse a whole hospital. i am still at university and his parents help a lot. my parents are living not around me anymore, they moved to another country - anyway they try to help the best. ~lilly |
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| Posts: 4 | Location: Europe | Registered: 24 June 2004 |  |
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I am New to SFV
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well i'a sorry to hear tha..i have twin girls they just turned 1 in june..my divorce will be final in 11/15....i had to obligate him to be around for his kids,i work in day time so he stays with our kids in the mornigs and goes to work second shift.my mother helps a lot(thanks god for that)i dont know how long is going to last....he has said a few times :"nobody told you to get pregnant"..jerk! after"we" talked about it and "decided"we were going to have another baby..of course we didnt know we were going to make twins....anyways it might seem like is the perfect arrangment but is painful..specially for my 5 year old boy who had witnessed how he talks to me,somtimes being vulgar..he does it cause he knows i need his help with our kids(.daycare is too expensive(i cant afford it) so that's why he acts like i dont have another choice....it's true, for now i dont have another choice but to put up with his harsh words. he doesnt help me with money or anything.sometimes i wish he'll go away almost forever even if i had to lose my job,but i have to keep in mind my son loves him a lot..and just like you i dont know what i am going to tell my twins what happen with his father. every thing seems so unfair to me .SO MANY YEARS WASTED ALMOST 9. i just ask God evry nigth to help me to take care of my kids,and to let go of this guy who had hurt me so much....i try to play it cool all the time but inside i feel like i'm dying sometimes...just to know that i have my little ones is what keep me strong,..even when i feel like i cant take it no more. i think he'll never change so i guess my kids will know with time what kind of person he really is,and will understand why all this happen. good look . quote: Originally posted by tlginger:
[qb]Hi everyone, I'm Tina & I'm 30 years old. I'm a mother of twin girls & they we're born Dec 31, 2003. My ex BF has been denying them since I cought him cheating. he never seen the girls, besides the picture I gave him which he didn't care less about. He leaves me no choice but to take him to court for the first time which will be June 29th. He hasn't paid any child support, I've been struggling since day one, My parents have been supportive and helped me alot which is good because at times I'm really drained. I don't want my ex back, not after all he put me through, but why does he have to punish his own babies. I love my girls, they mean the world to me. My main concern is...what will I tell them when they ask for daddy? I don't want to hurt them & at the same time I don't want to lie to them. I just hope that I can stay strong and get throught this. I hope to be a great mother to them and I really hope that I accomplish that!! If you have any advice, please feel free... I can always use someone imput on this.[/qb]
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| Posts: 1 | Location: ct | Registered: 14 July 2004 | |
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I am New to SFV
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quote: Originally posted by angie1:
[qb]well i'a sorry to hear tha..i have twin girls they just turned 1 in june..my divorce will be final in 11/15....i had to obligate him to be around for his kids,i work in day time so he stays with our kids in the mornigs and goes to work second shift.my mother helps a lot(thanks god for that)i dont know how long is going to last....he has said a few times :"nobody told you to get pregnant"..jerk! after"we" talked about it and "decided"we were going to have another baby..of course we didnt know we were going to make twins....anyways it might seem like is the perfect arrangment but is painful..specially for my 5 year old boy who had witnessed how he talks to me,somtimes being vulgar..he does it cause he knows i need his help with our kids(.daycare is too expensive(i cant afford it)
so that's why he acts like i dont have another choice....it's true, for now i dont have another choice but to put up with his harsh words. he doesnt help me with money or anything.sometimes i wish he'll go away almost forever even if i had to lose my job,but i have to keep in mind my son loves him a lot..and just like you i dont know what i am going to tell my twins what happen with his father. every thing seems so unfair to me .SO MANY YEARS WASTED ALMOST 9. i just ask God evry nigth to help me to take care of my kids,and to let go of this guy who had hurt me so much....i try to play it cool all the time but inside i feel like i'm dying sometimes...just to know that i have my little ones is what keep me strong,..even when i feel like i cant take it no more. i think he'll never change so i guess my kids will know with time what kind of person he really is,and will understand why all this happen.
good look
. [/qb]
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| Posts: 8 | Location: Ottawa | Registered: 19 June 2004 | |
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I am New to SFV
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quote: Originally posted by tlginger:
[qb]Hi everyone, I'm Tina & I'm 30 years old. I'm a mother of twin girls & they we're born Dec 31, 2003. My ex BF has been denying them since I cought him cheating. he never seen the girls, besides the picture I gave him which he didn't care less about. He leaves me no choice but to take him to court for the first time which will be June 29th. He hasn't paid any child support, I've been struggling since day one, My parents have been supportive and helped me alot which is good because at times I'm really drained. I don't want my ex back, not after all he put me through, but why does he have to punish his own babies. I love my girls, they mean the world to me. My main concern is...what will I tell them when they ask for daddy? I don't want to hurt them & at the same time I don't want to lie to them. I just hope that I can stay strong and get throught this. I hope to be a great mother to them and I really hope that I accomplish that!! If you have any advice, please feel free... I can always use someone imput on this.[/qb]
Sometimes I feel as though I am the only one in my position. I see from your words I am not. I too am a single mother of twin girls. Born July 15, 2003. They are now thirteen months old and in addition to them I also have and 8 year old son and a 4 year old daughter. All the girls have the same worthless father. I struggle to keep my sanity and my head above water. I cry alot when I manage to find a few minutes of peace (usually at night when all are sleep). I had a real emotional struggle in the begining because it's hard to look 2 babies new to the world, never harmed a soul, beatiful beyond words, yet neglected by the person who is half of their whole. He no matter how hard I tried to block it out or how hard I wished it wasn't so, IS their "father/daddy" or better yet "donor". Now i'm just angry. I've come to the point where I have accepted that he is not capable of giving them the love that they deserve and therefore is useless in their life with the exception of child support. I've accepted the fact that, in all honesty, he will never love them the way a father should love his girls. But damn it, I refuse to let him get by without financial obilgation. Stick to your guns, keep on top of your child support case. If you dont', THEY WON'T. BELIVE ME. I KNOW. I have nothing good to relay from my efforts to collect the pennies they said my kids are entitled too. I have yet since my first daughter birth (and she's 4) to collect 2 full months of support. Keep tabs of his job locations and anytime something about it changes REPORT IT ASAP!!! Bottom line is if he doesn't care and you don't actively pursue the situation you will CONTINUE TO STRUGGLE. No one understands this struggle but the women who are in it. I just hope you have better luck than I ever have. Keep your head up. A lady once told me when i had tears on the brim of my eyes, "Don't you cry cause your strong, god knows, you just need to see it. Don't you know he'd never give you more than he knew you could handle?" Besides, all the struggle in the world wouldn't change the way those 2 babies make you feel in your heart, your just wishing he felt it too. I know, i've been there.... |
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| Posts: 3 | Location: Virginia | Registered: 29 August 2004 | |
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