I am a 35 yr old single mom of a 13 yr old son and 21 month old faternal twin daughters. I am so thatnkful to have beautiful, healthy children. But doing it all alone can sometimes be overwhelming. Daddy visits with the girls 2 days aweek for 2-3 hours but he has a had time being left alone with them. So I have to always been in the same area for a fast recovery (if you know what I mean.) When he was over the other day he asked my to by him some cigs. I did because I know how it is to smoke and have no money (I quite smoking when we separated in December) However while he was playing with the girls he had left some papers on the table. I was cooking dinner and moved the papers to find a womans phone number. I asked about it and it was the woman from the Quick stop were I drove him to get the cigs. He got her phone number while I was in the car with his daughters. Man this really upset me because it shows how little respect he has for me. I makes me feel like everything I have done for him was a waste. I go out of my way to make sure he sees his daughters. His car is not running so I pick him up. He lives with a few roommates so he comes to my home to spend time with the girls. He isn't working so he pays no support and as you can imagine diaper for 2 is expensive. Does any one have advice? I don't want my girls not to bealbe to see there father but am I making it to easy for him not to take responsibility?

Hi! Welcome to the site! I have 5 year old fraternal twins, a boy and a girl. As to your question, have you two split for good or is it just a trial separation? I can't judge if you are making it easy on him, because I did the same for my kid's dad when we split. I would take him to the store, still make dinner, loan him money, etc. all for the sake of the kids. It was almost like we were still together without all the pressure of living together. I was really hurt when he started dating, I think mainly because he was moving on and I was still alone. Is that kinda the way you are feeling?

Anyway, again, :welcome:

There are so many wonderful people here, and in no time you will find you have found about 10000 new friends! But, not many people visit this forum, I guess there arent that many single mom's of multiples. I look forward to talking with you!

Brandi

Hello ronigurl,

Welcome to the site, I'm pretty new myself here. I am a 31 year old single mom of two sons age 12 & 13. Although they are not twins, I know about having two in diapers. YES, you are making it easy on him not to take responsibility. But dont be too hard on yourself, it's part of who we are as moms/women, having big hearts and not wanting to make waves in the non-existant relationship. My ex actually calls me to ask dating advice, I know unbelievable. But please for ths sake of your kids, do not assist in his irresponsibility. Certain things are ok, bringing him over to spend time with the kids, but let him get take care of his own needs (cigerettes), every dollar you put in his pocket is a dollar out of your kids pocket. Understand? And demand respect, most of the time it's the only way you will receive it. Let him know that it's not a jealous thing but he should have respect for you as his kids mother and should have respect for his kids not to be picking up other women in you guys presence. He does not need to bring his life-style around his children. I hope I was of some help. Just try to remember where to draw the line.

Thanks for the response. I think that after all of the junk my baby's daddy and are will never get back together. I am so tired of being walked over it is time I start thinking about taking the best care I can of my children and when it's time to start dating look for a man who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated and then I would be happy to give in return. Yesturday was just a really bad day for me. He sees the girls on Wednesdays and Sundays. So I new I would have to face my unresolved feelings. But after voicing them to him last evening I feel better. Thanks again.

Hi ronigurl and welcome.
It sounds like you have a pretty good grip on things. You already know to stop making yourself responsible for him. He needs to grow up and stand on his own two feet before he can be a real Dad to the kids.
I don't have twins but I have a small township of kids and 2 in diapers. One girl is 2 and the other is 18 months. I buy in bulk for sure. I can't handle running out.

Great advice about judgeing others. I have had time lately to really look and my own choice and the fall out from them that I know no one is perfect. We can only do the best we can with what God has given us.

At this time I have my twins un der control now its my pre teen son. He will be 13 in 2 weeks and is going threw all types of changes. Any advice from you men out there?

Hi again Ronigurl. Once again I am not a man but I do have teenagers too. Boy thirteen is tough. I have one 17 one 15 and a 12 year old. It can be interesting. I listen to them as much as I can and let them make as much decisions as they can on their own. It seems to give them some independance yet I am there if they need me. Mine got really mouthy for a while. Like I had no clue what I was talking about. It can be hard to deal with, but like you said they are going through so many changes. The first real girlfriend is pretty interesting too.