As much as I try to understand it, i'm still at a loss. I have two wonderful weeks with my GF then all of the sudden im afraid to put my hands too close to her mouth or I will get eaten, then the next week I go from a wonderful, caring, salt of the earth man to someone who brushes his teeth too fast, exhales too loudly, and an overall nuisance to be around. I walk on egg shells for fear that any move I make will be the wrong one. And guess what, it is. Just when I think things are getting back to normal the slightest error on my part can bring a lamp or a pork chop whizzing by my head. Somehow I believe this is Gods way of getting back at us for not baring children. Any advise in this area would be appreciated. So far the best way i've found to deal with it is shear avoidance and alot of prayer.

Believe it or not ---excuse me while I continue laughing ----we suffer as badly in those moments as well. Sometimes some of us worse than others. Hormonal imbalances are what cause the mood shifts, and if you can catch her on a 'good' day...I'd talk to her about it. Don't just think about it when it's a bad day and suffer through. Bring it up and see if you can get her to discuss it with you and see if you guys can make a plan. My mother has had extreme issues with her hormones....turned out to be PRE CHANGE in her early 40's. Just be honest with her...and if she bites your head off...AVOID AVOID AVOID AVOID!

I'm so rolling on the floor. Forgive me while I pick myself up! I actually feel bad for the men that have to put up w/a woman going through PMS. It is bad sometimes. She may not realize that she is throwing that pork chop or lamp at you until it is done! I am w/Blindsky on this. Talk to her on a "good" day and let her know your concerns. There is no reason you should have to walk on egg shells around her for 1 week a month! However, I really needed that laugh, so thanks!! Good luck and remember to wear protective head gear!

Ahhh good advice Blind. I agree bring it up on a good day.

I agree with the ladies as well. Definately bring it up on a good day and be concerned for her, NOT YOU. It is horrible for those of us going through it. I have had a hysterectomy and thought I would be done with it .. but guess what I still have some parts and still get the mood swings and now my daughter is getting in on the picture. That's not pretty!
Another piece of advice: never, ever, ever, never, ever say:"Are you PMSing or what?" ... Sure fire way to get something much larger than a pork chop or lamp thrown at you. As much as we hate the roller coaster of hormones ourselves .. we hate not being able to control them even worse. So do not draw attention to them when we are going through it.

Oh boy do I empathize with you. Unfortunately, I'm of the opinion that there is no answer. I did figure out how to make it go non-stop, though (as in the months leading up to daughter #2).

There's an "everybody Loves Raymond" episode dealing with this. Caught it on a re-run once. Hits it spot-on.

Watch lots of Dr.Phil and make sure that you document when it usually happens and be sure to have ice-cream in the house. Ice-cream always soothes the savage beast within for me!

I have an opinion on this but it is more questioning....so to speak...than of offering you advice...so I will not post. I will let my thoughts go with agreeing with the above posters and leave it at that....sorry for you

Vitamin B, Primrose Oil helped me. I am a LUNATIC when it happens. About every 3-4 months I will really lose my mind. The sad thing about PMS that no one will admit, is we usually mean all those horrible things we say, but would never say them out loud any other time. It comes from repressing emotions.

quote:

Originally posted by Grammy36:
[qb] The sad thing about PMS that no one will admit, is we usually mean all those horrible things we say, but would never say them out loud any other time.[/qb]

Sorry Grammy, I disagree with this statement. I think we all have some sort of control over what comes out of our mouths, some more than others. Yeah, PMS is something we can't control but our actions can always be controlled. Using PMS as an excuse to be mean is immature and just wrong. If someone has PMS this bad they need to medically take care of it...by either (like you said) take some vitamins or with a perscription to balance them out. Taking care of PMS is a personal responsibility that a woman needs to be mature about and take that responsibilty to help them function. Just as people with depression or any other hormonal imbalance.

Baretaster, Unlike the other ladies I didn't find it funny...I do agree that it should be brought up on one of her better days. Of course you got uspet and hurt by actions such as this...I would've too...but it should never be accepted and passed off as nothing that can't be taken care of. If your girlfriend loves you she will respect your feelings and want to take these little extra steps to correct it. There are also a lot of different natural products and foods on the market for PMS, not to mention books, and information on how to treat it. She is fortunate that you tolerate it....I never would accept this kind of behavior from any man....and I wouldn't expect any man to accept this behavior from me. I make people own their own behavior...as they should. JMO

DMM
I saw that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond...I hated it and didn't like Deborah's behavior in that episode. I absolutely refuse to watch that re-run. If this is what BT is dealing with than I find it completely unacceptable.

PS...I was asked in PM to spill my guts so that is why I decided to post. Sorry if I offend anyone here. I wouldn't even like myself if I behaved this way...behavior is a choice.

Thinker,

You didn't offend me at all. I do want to clarify why I was laughing. It wasn't at baretaster at all. I happen to know someone like this and it caught me at a time when I happened to be thinking of this person. The person I'm referring to is my aunt. She is a pretty nasty person most of the time anyway, but when PMS hit, WATCH OUT. I know that this behavior is hurtful to the people that get caught in the cross-fire, and I think I said as much. I didn't realize that my laughter could be taken as being directed at the situation baretaster is going through, and apologize if you were upset by it, baretaster. PMS isn't funny, and should be dealt w/accordingly. Don't let anyone use PMS as an excuse to be hateful and nasty. It really isn't an excuse.

I didn't mean I was mean. And baretaster, Ty's mom is right. PMS is no excuse for being hateful. There are times when I will not be as forthright about how I feel, it is a peace-keepers curse, and a product of being a child of alcoholics. Sometimes when I have PMS I will be very direct about how I feel. I told my boss last month that by giving away a friends accounts to other sales reps that he was stealing from a dying man.(He is going through Chemo/radiation) Everybody thought it but nobody would say it. I am working his accounts for free, because that is the right thing to do. Others are just scooping up his hard earned money after 10 yrs of building his client base. That is the kind of things I am talking about. And I do take full responsibility for my actions. Sometimes, I just can't keep quiet when something is being done that is wrong.

I agree with much of what you've said Thinker. No offense. Please don't feel that you can't voice an honest open opinion on the boards, because you have much to offer.

*Sidenote for Baretaster: For my laughs, they weren't in making fun or light of the situation, and I'm not going to say that I'm sorry for them because I am not. I was laughing because I was overjoyed to hear this issue brought up, because I could feel your frustration and relate, and because I wish I had a miracle cure for it but don't. I laughed because that is how I react when I can totally relate. Laughter, however, is great medicine.

Laughter is also good for PMS. Sometimes my sister and I will get the giggles and laugh until we can't breath. That crazy laugh that make no sense? I think it is definately a girl thing. Baretaster, talk to her about this after the PMS is over. I usually know when I have been irrational and definately apologize if I get too snippy with the kids. Most of us recognize it for what it is.

quote:

Originally posted by baretaster:
[qb] As much as I try to understand it, i'm still at a loss. I have two wonderful weeks with my GF then all of the sudden im afraid to put my hands too close to her mouth or I will get eaten, then the next week I go from a wonderful, caring, salt of the earth man to someone who brushes his teeth too fast, exhales too loudly, and an overall nuisance to be around. I walk on egg shells for fear that any move I make will be the wrong one. And guess what, it is. Just when I think things are getting back to normal the slightest error on my part can bring a lamp or a pork chop whizzing by my head. Somehow I believe this is Gods way of getting back at us for not baring children. Any advise in this area would be appreciated. So far the best way i've found to deal with it is shear avoidance and alot of prayer. [/qb]

Maybe I am reading this different than everyone else but I have to reply.

Baretaster,
Your girlfriend has been behaving this way for two weeks?? Is this something new? Is she still acting this way now? I think that you need to look at this from a different angle. PMS is all too often blamed for the strange things that women do and think, but its not a fair judgement. If this behavior is new and extreme, it may be something much more than simple bloating and fatigue. Has she had a major change in her life? You say its punishment for not having kids herself. Do you think this is affecting her more than you can admit? Maybe it just hit her two weeks ago that she doesn't have kids, but she is helping you with yours. Maybe she is trying to come to some kind of acceptance. You need to talk to her. Don't approach her like you want her to explain her behavior. I think you should approach her with concern, and ask if there is something you can do to help her feel better. B is right, approach her at a good time, she will be more rational. But don't rush to blame PMS. Blaming PMS presumes that the whole problem will be solved in a week, and come back three weeks later. What you are describing sounds more like someone who is stressed out over something and has no one to confide in, so they bottle it up inside, only to explode later. It's called passive-agressive behavior. It's a sign that something is wrong.