Hi all,

I'm a single mom, I have 1 son who just turned 4yrs old. For about the last 5 or 6 months he has been asking where his daddy is. At times he cries that he wants his daddy, yet he has never seen/meet his dad. I don't talk bad about his dad. When my son is old enough to understand that his father made the choice to not be in his life then my son can make the choice on how he feels about his father. When he asks for his dad I just say he's not here, and then he asks where is he, in such a serious voice, it's heartbreaking to me, i say Mommy is here and I love you very much and try to change the subject. I don't know what to say to him when he keeps asking me for his daddy.

my ex isnt letting me see my 4 year old son. I'm probably not the best person to answer you. If your sons father wants to be part of his life and he has made changes in his life and is settled down enough to be there for your son PLEASE don't stop that from happening. I use to think my ex was a really good mother and I thought that she wanted me to get my life together then I thought she would let me take my son on over nighters but that never happened. She still hates me and my son is going to suffer for it. If I end up having to take her to court it is going to be a lot worse for our son then if she would just agree to let me be part of his life. I love my and really want to be there for him. Can you share more of your story? When did your sons father leave? how long has he been gone? has he ever asked to see him?

My sons father came to the hospital after i gave birth held the baby for a couple minutes and then left. I never spoke to him again accept when i took him to court for child support(actually we didn't speak there either). Till this day the father has not seen my son and does not want to, obviously. It breaks my heart when my son asks for his daddy and i don't really know what to say to him.

I'm a little confused. If your 4 year old son doesn't really know who his biological father is... whom is he referring to when he asks for his daddy?

Or does he mean a "daddy".... if that is the case maybe you could look into big brothers organization and see if there might someone whom your son can appreciate.

He wants a daddy, he wants to know where his is and why he's not here.

that is really sad. I wonder if my son asks for me.. I agree with Tessmit, if you have a Big Brother organization in your area that would probably help. Maybe he just needs a positive male role model. good luck.

My daughter talks about daddys but she doesn't have a daddy. He left when I was six months pregnant. He didn't want to be a dad. That was his choice and I am keeping him to that. I refuse to seek him out, ask for anything from him or anything for my daughter. We are doing great without him. All he would do would be to make things difficult and cause emotional damage to my daughter as he has done to everyone else in his life.

I think the daddy thing depends on the situation. A friend of mine and I are along the same lines in telling our fatherless children that I wanted my Kai so much that I didn't want to wait for a daddy, I just wanted her.

She has my brothers, and my dad for male influences and that's good. She knows no different.

quote:

Originally posted by smshybug:
My daughter talks about daddys but she doesn't have a daddy. He left when I was six months pregnant. He didn't want to be a dad. That was his choice and I am keeping him to that. I refuse to seek him out, ask for anything from him or anything for my daughter. We are doing great without him. All he would do would be to make things difficult and cause emotional damage to my daughter as he has done to everyone else in his life.

I think the daddy thing depends on the situation. A friend of mine and I are along the same lines in telling our fatherless children that I wanted my Kai so much that I didn't want to wait for a daddy, I just wanted her.

She has my brothers, and my dad for male influences and that's good. She knows no different.

oooh, I loooooove that. Thanks for the terrific idea! Incredibly similar situation for me. I am thrilled at your post. Thank you!!

I went through all of this with my 13 yr old daughter. It was about 4 that she realized that other kids had "daddy's". She would ask where he was and what he was doing and I would answer her with things like "Oh I don't know, maybe working." That satisfied her only for a little while. She stopped asking and when kids would ask her she would tell them I only have a mom no dad. And she came up with that on her own. I think when she was about 10 she asked me very seriously about her father. I explained to her that when I found out I was pregnant he was very excited that he was bringing a baby into the world but he was not ready to be a dad. It is not that he doesn't love you but he just wasn't ready and I was. She has always had a strong male figure in her life, my dad and brother in law. They have been great to her and for her. I think I have been really really lucky because I do not have the problems with her that some single moms have with their daughters. She has not asked about him since and I really do not see her asking anytime soon. Sorry to be wordy, but I just think your son is at that age and sees his friends with "daddy" and he wants one too.