I am 34 weeks pregnant and feel like I am my ex's yoyo, I want off of his bipolar roller coaster but want to keep the door open for the best interest of my child. Can this be done without causing me anymore emotional distress?? In the past 8 months he has misunderstood everything I have possibly said and done. He has gone in and out of my life 3 times since I became pregnant which were all 2 week increments. One moment he says he wants to be a family and the best father he can be, then he says just take his paycheck he wants nothing to do with me or baby. Then he tells me he doubts the child is his and by the way he has a serious girlfriend now even though he was sleeping with me 2 weeks prior. I don't know what to make of any of his inconsistances??
So now I am left with a decision,, he has not come to any docoter appointments or a infant care class I signed us up for. Do I invite him into the delivery room?? If he doesn't truely believe the child is his and he isnt willing to sign the birth certificate should I allow him to be there?? That's if he even wants to go to the hospital. I am soo confused,, any advice??

MeShell. Like that name. Read any of my posts about my ex. I am sure he is bipolar, and he did the same things to me when I was pregnant. Wanted to be with me, then wasnt ready to be a father. Wanted me to live with him, then didnt. I cant compare, because everyone is different. All I can tell you is that I wish I would've acted on my doubts about my ex, because he is still bi-polar, and makes my life a hell I've never had to experience until now. If I could go back now, I would have run in the opposite direction from him, and never looked back. Hindsight is always 20/20. Thats just my opinion. Best of luck to you. I know its not any easier when your pregnant.

Dealing with someone who has bipolar is very tough. The medications for the disorder are inconsistent in helping people. However, you have to do something that I like to call, check your gene pool. Think about your child because there is a chance that your child could develop bipolar tendencies and you will want to make any notice of changes in your childs behavior. As for your ex, he will be inconsistent with his behavior and its to no fault of him it is his disorder that is controlling his life. As difficult it is for you to deal with him, it is even more difficult for him to live with. The fluctuating moods can be stressful on him, which leads to him treating you poorly. Do your best to be a friend to him, but always put your child's best interests first. Good luck to you.

Hello,
My ex has Bi-Polar and it wasn't really noticable until I was preganant with my second child. He changed dramatically... Drank behind my back, gambled our money away, lost his job... and did not care for the kids when I was at work. The final straw was when I came home from work to find my 4 yr old had gotten a frozen TV dinner out so he and his 11/2 yr old sister could eat from... let alone her diper was dragging on the floor. I supported my ex through it all as much as I could.. he almost wiped me out emotionally but he wasn't willing to help himself and thought the grass was greener on the other side. We are friends for the kids sake now, I love him still but he cannot emotionally handle the everyday pressure of life. On another note my son is now 9 and he has some bi-polar tendencies. If only I would have known than what I do now I would not have put my son through possible hardship.

Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate everyone that can share a experience. It really helps give me patience with him and figuring out how to deal day to day. I am doing my best to research online about bipolar, but really its the experiences from real people that help. He doesnt realize he has this, but he does know his chemical balance is off and he acknowledges the fact that he has ADD. Unfortunately he doesn't want to get professional help. When he has trouble sleeping at night because of his mind racing he seeks the help of sleep aids such as tyenol PM. I have tried to talk to him about it but I get no where with him, so I have left it to him to figure out. Right now I am doing my best to be patient and understanding but his words are so hurtful when he gets manic it totally plays on my prego hormones and makes me so depressed too. Especially because he blames me for all reasons that the relationship went wrong. Please keep the advice and experiences coming I truly appreciate reading them and knowing I am not the only one who is dealing with this.

Hey! everyone i've been wanting to chat on this line for months now. I'm divorced, but my ex-husband is not the one who has the bipolor it is this guy i met in August 2007. We dated for three months. We were only together a week when he introduced me to his family who i ended up falling in love with very fast. My family are in Florida and by him introduceing me to his family meant alot to me. The first two months were great until one night he had stayed the night and at one O'clock in the am his cell phone rang and i thought maybe it was his mom (he is thirty and lives with his parents because he got into a financial bind), anyway i ran down stairs and looked at his phone it said Erin. I sat on my couch and intantly felt sick. I ended up calling the number from his phone and it was a girl's vm. I hung up and decided to look at his contact list to discover he had 21 girls name and numbers on his phone, i was livid. I know i was wrong to go through his phone, but what was i supposed to think??. I ran up stairs and threw the phone at his back. He turned over rather quick and half a sleep looked at me in shock. I said who the blank is Erin and why is she calling your phone?. He said I don't know an Erin, i said you liar she is in your phone. He said " I don't know an Erin". and then he stopped and said oh wait, i know a guy named Aaron. and i said and you have a female named Erin in your phone too and she called. If it is spelled Erin most o the time it is a girl, get your **** on i'm taking you home. He finally admitted he new her, but claimed he hadn't talked to her in six months. I said right!!!!. After he realized i was done with him he became angry and stated swearing at me and called me names. We got in my car and I told him to shut the blank up, on the way he all o a sudden started touching my hand and trying to be all lovey. I had just told him that night, that i loved him and i felt like such a fool. He tried everything in his power to get me to stay with him and i ended up giving him another chance. I asked him to erase the numbers and he said he would, except for two because they are like sisters to him. I said ok. Anyway he broke it off before christmas and i went to his house hoping to talk, he ended up telling me to get o his parent's property or he would call the cops. I was shocked and hurt. The stubborn person i am i called him in tears, he answered and said WHAT, can't you take a hint??. I asked why and how he could be sooo mean and he started saying terrible things like i was a bad mom and my life was falling apart before my eyes and i don't see it, i was not good enough for him, he ripped me apart. Then i realized he had discribed his own life. We broke up for three weeks and we started texting and calling eachother again and he heard i met someone else. He asked if i was serious about this guy and how he missed me and he wanted to try again. We dated for a week and then i broke it off because i felt he was using me. He is very oversexed. When we had started talking again ater x-mas he mentioned "friends with benfits" and because i missed him soo, i texted him a week later asking i he wanted to try it. I had never done or heard of it before, so i asked the rules and he said we hang out and have ***. I said and we can with other people too? he said "NO". I was confused and he said if i slept with someone else then he would end it. Anyway that is what we are, but he got into cocaine and he admitted it to me. I was sooo and still am devisated. I love this man. It breaks my heart to see him doing this to himself. What a waist. Can i help him??. I'm sorry this was sooo long.

I think you are co-dependant (man addicted to cocaine, and you wondering if you can help him). He can only help himself, if and when he wants to.

I think the best thing for you to do is to run as far away from this man as you can get. He is bad news.
Sorry.

I haven't read everyone's answers to your question so hopefully I'm not repeating anyone. I think it is up to how you feel about him being in the room when your child is born. How do YOU feel about it? Do you want him to be there or would rather him only come see the baby after the birth? Do what feels most comfortable to you. Afterall, you'll be the one giving birth and shouldn't be under any extra stess. I also think that when he is in his "loving happy mood" you suggest that he see a doctor about his mood swings and that you feel it would be best for your child's well being. Maybe even suggest going with him?? I think your life would be less stressful if the only time the two of you spent together was with the baby until he gets his life together. Good Luck