Hi everyone I am a new member to this site in serious need of your advice.I know this posts may be long but I want you guys to get the full picture of what is going on. Let me start by saying I am a 26 year old single mother of a 4 year old son who is currently five months pregnant with a little girl. My son is by a totally different relationship. It all started when I met my current baby's father in a barber shop he worked at while getting my son's hair cut. To make a long story short he pursued me by saying he was looking for a good woman....yadie yadie yada.....and then perceded to ask for my number. There was an immediate attraction felt by both of us but I told him I didn't give out my number so he gave me his and begged to called. I called him a few days later and we instantly hit it off. Anyways I dated him for a couple of months then we started talking about getting married and having a baby together (I know it was stupid so soon). Anyways we decided to try to get pregnant and lo and behold after our first month of trying I instantly became pregnant! He was happy about the pregnancy and said he would be there. After a month of me being pregnant his whole attitude started to change. He became a very mean argumentative controlling person. When I was around 8 weeks pregnant he broke up with me saying we weren't capatible but he would be there for our baby.

To make a long story short for a few months he played this game where he would break up with me then I would beg him back and he would come back for a week or two and then say that we wren't compatible and he just wasn't in love with me(mind you this is after I got pregnant because before then he always told me he loved me). He then would say things like I was too stuck up and he had to break me down. Afte a couple of months of being tired of his head games, and lying to me(I had a feeling he was seeing other women)I stopped calling him all together for a month. After a couple of weeks he would send text messages asking me if i was allright and needed anything, so after a few weeks of ignoring him I called him. He said that we could be friends and maybe oneday we could be together. He went to my ultrasound appointment which was a few weeks back but said nothing to me the whole time. When I called him the next day to ask him why he didn't talk to me while ther.....he said "I don't have to talk to you as long as I am there for my baby." I got upset and asked him how he felt he could raise a child with someone he doesn't want to talk to. At this point I was confused because jus a few days before the appointment he called me and told me he was coming over( which he never did....another game with my heart). Anyways I then got upset and we started cursing at each other....he kept callin me back to back to get the last word and I kept hangin up and cursing. I was so tired of him confusing me by this point so I told him he wasnt the baby's father (which he is). Of course he didn't believe me so he told me he was taking me to court and that I would be cryin' before it was all over with. To get him to believe me I had a male friend call him and say he was the father(I know this was stupid and I regret it). Then a couple of days later I texted him and tried to explain to him that was my friend and not the baby's father....I even went by his house and he didn't answer...then he changed his phone number.

I am sooooo hurt! I am off off work on depression.....have been taking anti depressants. I feel deep inside he knows it's his kid but is using this as an exscuse to not be here. I just can't understand why he would plan a pregnance and then decide he doesn't want me? To add salt to the injury my sister seen him in the car with another woman a couple of days ago, so while i am over here lonely, pregnant and cryin he doesn't care. Should I just move on and forget about him? Seems he already has. This is supposed to be his first child and he is 25 I don't understan! Help! i am tired of crying!!!!

For the time being your energy will probably be better spent concentrating on you and the baby. It won't help the pregnancy if you are a bundle of nerves all the time and all worked up about how badly things are going with him.

You mention your sister so I'm guessing that she is there local with you, any other family nearby that can help lend some emotional support.

I'm sure you will get some ladies input on this also.

First off Don is right, you need to put all of your focus on your baby and yourself. He is obviously moving on and not to be harsh you should too. I am going through a similar situation my ex has moved on and I didn't feel better about it until I had too. It will get easier. My ex wanted to get me pregnant and tried and tried and tried and then boom it happened well it just so happened he was trying with another girl too and she just so happened to tell him first so now she's stuck with him. Your ex may also be in shock, this is his first baby and even though he may have said that he wanted it he may have not realized that maybe he wasnt ready. You will be ok, you just have to keep your focus elsewhere. Don't play into his games and keep in contact with your support group. You will make it through and have something wonderful as an outcome (your baby). Keep coming here, it's a great place for advice and to vent.

Ashley,

Wow, does this sound familiar! My ex was so in love with me, wanted to be married and have four kids. I was pregnant on our first try. Then suddenly, according to him, "we were not getting along" and it was over in my second month of pregnancy. Funny how quick that changes, isn't it?

Listen to these guys, they know their stuff! I agree with using your energy to concentrate on the baby and taking care of yourself. I wish I had (and I admitt still focus on my ex 16 months later). But I understand. Your hurt, confused, and probably scared. You have every right to be! But as hard as it is, try to take care of yourself and do whatever you need to do for yourself (and your soon to be arriving baby. It's the best therapy I can think of!

Welcome and keep me posted on your progress.

Hi Ashley and Let me start off by saying that I agree with everybody on the board .Don't use energy on him right now it's about you and your baby. Sometimes losing the guy is the best thing for you i know it might not seem like it but in the long run its a good thing. You will be fine as long as you take care of yourself.Please keep me posted with your progress and take care. You are NOT alone everybody here has gone through something similar.Let me know if you need to talk im always here.

Thanks to all of you who responded back to my post. I was surprised you answered so quick. This really seems like a lovely sight and seems I have found another place for support. I do have my mother as a support system but that is about it as I don't get along with my sisters. I will definetely keep all of you updated on my situation. Again, thanks to all of you I agree with what everyone is saying.As hard as it seems I am focusing on my healing for me, my baby, and my son.