Hi Cherry

It must be a difficult thing for you to be alone out there. You have to be brave for you and your child. Your boyfriend sounds like he doesn't want to be part of your life and the new baby that's coming. If I were you, I would go back to my family and forget about him. He should be there with you right now, when you need him most, no later when he feels like. That's one thing that bothers me about guys, they are only there in the good times but when things get rough, they walk. Be brave and think about you and your baby. I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear. But it doesn't pay for wait for someone that might be returned. Find the courage and strength to move on. Best of luck to ya.

Hi Cherry,
All I can say is have faith in yourself.
I am a single mom and have been for about 5 1/2 years..my x decided when my child was about 4 months that someone else was more important in his life.(faith and determiniation go a long way)
If you have made the decission to have this child and raise it you must believe in yourself and realize that have to is a good master and you will do what you need to survive.
There is nothing wrong with crying.(.for that matter it could be the hormones) and there is nothing wrong with being scared. But always remember females are the stronger of the species for a reason (sorry males..I know there are some really great Dad's out there..this isn't directed at you), even in history women have been the species that has had to carry the load for everyone.
Seek help where you can get it. Rely on family if they are willing to help.
The best advice I can give you is be strong. Trust me, if your child sees an image that's its okay to be treated like dirt, they will redirected the action in their own lives.
Empower yourself and let this so called "male friend".. (I wanted to call him something else..but being nice) know that you will not just sit down and take his garbage. You don't need him, so tell him to hit the bricks..you will survive ...
Last time I checked cats are great companions with less talking back and a lot more compassion and dependability.
Jacque

Oh, Sherry,
Hi, I like a few other women out there, found it one of the most frightening things was to be left to raise a child, even you with a new one on the way. I too, found myself in this situation, when my daughter was 4 years old, one week before she was to start kindergarden, just over 2 months before she was to turn 5. My husband found I was pregnant when I was in my 3rd month. He did not want children. As long as the excitement was around, he was ok with it. But our marriage started from the moment he found out I was pregnant began going down hill. But not long after I had the baby, things got worse. The house began showing signs of just me and the baby, and another person (my husband) as that more of room mates, than husband and wife. Pretty much, 6 years went by in the marriage, verbal abuse, no interaction between us at all, and me working more than anyone could imagine. He found someone 6 to 8 months before he left us, moved in with her, divorced us 2 months later, and married the woman he left us for a year later. I could never except this man back into my life, on the fear I could never trust him again. You need to become strong. Thank God for the friends you do have that are sticking by your side and helping you out. Have you tried calling your family and letting them know what has happened? Or are they shying you away? Just keep in mind, this child you are carrying is one of the most precious things you will ever have in your life. These children are support, more than any one can imagine. Yes, the road seems tough, but haven't you ever had it tough before, and had to tuffing up and survive? Didn't you get right back on your feet, and go ahead with your life?
Well, this is just another of ones walls you have come upon, and all you have to do is stop, think, do one day at a time, and you will make it. Just have faith in yourself. I would not worry about anything else, just smile, and act as if it is just you two in the world. There is plenty of help for people like you. You have this post to ask your questions, give advice from things we all have been through, and etc.
And anytime you want to, you can email me, or any of the other women in this post, and I am sure any of us will be glad to be there to support you in what ever way we can. So, smile, you have more than those few friends there by your side.

Cherry
You are going to be a mum soon - stop being so hard on yourself and try to enjoy the latter stages of your pregnancy, is there no way you can move back home before the baby comes, you will need some support and its better to upheave yourself now rather than wait for the baby to arrive. It sounds to me that you ar staying in your area in the hope that your ex will wake up to himself and take resposability for the baby. I hate to break this to you as I know you want support not bad news but he is stringing you along or edging his bets is a better known phrase. It is not your job to make you and the baby available to him if and when he wants to be involved that is his job ( to make himself available). Try not to contact him (let him contact you), just concentrate on making the right decisions for yourself, you have a baby coming who needs you to think logically with the head not emotionally with the heart. I know you don't want to bring a child up on your own and I know its sad to think of your precious baby not having a father as you would wish but its not so bad you know. Would you really ever get back with him? would you really ever forgive him for the way he has deserted you? if you did get back with him for the baby's sake would you not always be worried he could desert you again. One of the hardest things to do is to admit that the man you loved has turned out to be a selfish git. I was once where you are and made the same decisions you are making - yes he did get exited when the baby was born, yes I did think it would all be ok, untill the first bill came in and the hassle of having a child got to him and then he treated and strung me along just like in my pregnancy. The stress ruined my pregnancy and took the pleasure out of motherhood and eventually I stood up and admitted I was fighting a loosing battle and moved on (as someone pointed out and gave me the same advice I am giving you- it was the best eye opener I ever had)My son is now 16 and is a credit, he is a lovely lad, he never saw his dad after he was 2 as we then lived in different countries, he knows his dad was not a bad person, it just didn't work out and has never been affected by his single parent upbringing - so don't worry that the decision you make to break ties and step off this emotional roller coaster will effect your child - I have never seen it happen and I know a lot of single parents. A happy mother produces a happy child, get off this rollercaoster your ex has had plenty of time to make the decision you want him to make - cut him loose and build up you self esteem before the baby comes. When you found out you were pregnant you made a commitment to the baby - he has had plenty of time to do the same and commit to either you or the child in some way. I know its hard as 4 years is a long time to be with someone and dream of a future, please grieve for your lost relationship and go home to your family before the baby comes, it will give you and the baby the best start in life. If your ex wakes up to himself then he will know where you are and he can fix the situation, it is not your job to make him a father - Please let us know how you get on, if you stay where you are, then visit us online to vent and gain support. Remember my advice is not right or wrong its only my advice based on experience - you are the captain of your ship now grab hold of the stearing wheel you are going to a wonderful place and there is no going back

Cherry!

Where are you located?

I am in the same boat you are in. I am 4 months pregnant and the man I thought I could be with....really wasn't the one. He is no longer in my life or my soon to be childs.

I live with my parents. ALL i can say is that I COULD NEVER be doing this all by myself. So give your self a hug and a BIG pat on the back to at least get this far. Dont think about him anymore. If he already thinks that he can't be with you and your baby now.... chances are he wont be there later on.

AND go home...... I sure your family would love to help you and be a part of your babies life. If they have already taken to the idea... GREAT... but if not, They WILL. TRUST ME. My dad didn't speak to me for 1 month. NOW... They joke about it and can't wait to buy baby clothes and stuff for me.

Good LUCK! But i am sure you dont need it. I see strength in you. And i hope you believe that.....