Hi everyone, hope this finds u all well. I am a single parent of two children. My son was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of months back. I am going out of my mind with his behaviour, he doesn't listen to a word i say, does what he likes, if i tell him to clean up after himself he just says "no you clean it". He won't go to bed for me, i feel so tired and alone. He is only 7 and his behaviour is out of control, is it my fault? what can i do to change this?

Hi Johnson. Welcome to SFV.

It sounds like you have your hands full. I'm sorry that you are dealing with this all by yourself. You said he was diagnosed with ADHD. What help has been offered you to deal with this? What type of support system do you have?

I would start with trying to find some support in your area. I doubt that this is all your fault, but we parents do blame ourselves, don't we?

There are other parents around this site dealing with this same problem. I'm betting some of them can offer you advice. I just wanted to welcome you. This place is a good resource for help.

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Whoever diagnosed your son with ADHD, surely gave you some advice as to how to approach it and where to go for further consultations.
I do not know what is exactly your situation, but in my opinion, sometimes they can be too fast to name this disorder. If your son is 7, it can't be new, I mean it's not like your son's behavios just started to be difficult - you must have seen symptoms for some time. right? Please keep in mind that it might be a stage he will grow out of. My daughter seemed to be totally unfocused when she was 6 and I was losing my mind trying to get her to do things and learn and focus. I was very hard. But it turned out to be just a stage in her development. In about a year situation improved and now it is much better. I am I had faith and didn't medicate her. As mothers we have to be very patient. (easy for me to say). It is hard, but look at the big picture and try to stay positive, because things can improve and he can improve too with time. Write some instructions on the walls for him to see and read - so that you do not drive yourself crazy repeating things. Ask yourself how you can make things more efficient at home - for example for me it was hard to get my child to bed, she didn't want to go and so on. So my best solution was to give her a bath and change her into pyjamas way before sleeptime - that way, when she knew bath doesn't mean she has to go to bed - she enjoyed it and didn't give me hard time. We could finish homework when she was in her pyjamas. The most important thisng for a mother in this situation is to figure out how to interact successfully with a child without having to fight over things and get frustrated. You wikll find your own solutions. Ask yourself, what is the most important and what is less important. When a child is having difficulty focusing, he is not able to do many things. We have to let go of some things for a while - for example in my opinion homework was more important that picking up toys on weekdays - so I would pick up toys. We cannot make EVERYTHING perfet at once. Go step by step. Please remember it might be just a stage that will be over soon. Even if it is real ADHD, it also changes and demonstrates itself differently at different age, so it will not always be so hard on you. All the best to you