I have sole custody of son, age 10. I have been divorced for almost 9 years. The ex had moved out of the house before son was born. He was convicted of DV, has since had his record sealed. He had every other week-end visitation and, according to the court papers, mid-week each Wed. 5:30-8 PM. I have been very nice and said he can pick son up at school on Wed. and bring him home at 9 PM. This was going on for the last 3-4 years. For about that same time, the ex has decided that every Spring he will declare a "national hooky day" and keep son over night and out of school the next day. We ended up going to conflict resolution and I felt I was manipulated to agree to these "hooky days" to keep the peace, but with the understanding he was to give me advance notice when he wanted to do this and he was to be respectful (RIGHT!).
On Sept. 18, the ex picked son up at school and then left a message on my aswering machine that he was keeping son overnight, he had reported him off school, and they were going to play hooky the next day!. Son had missed the first 3 days of school due to us being out of town on vacation so I was trying to make sure he made it the rest of the grading period. I gave the ex a letter stating the visitation would go back to the standard time of 5:30-8 PM on Wed. and he was not to pick son up at school. Although I gave the school all the proper court paperwork, he still showed up at the school and picked son up! I consulted a lawyer and he has filed a contempt order. Now when the ex brings son home I'm finding out he has threatened son that if he doesn't say he wants the visitation to go back the way it was, he will never pick him up again! I am so upset he would put son in the middle of this. I have asked the school counselor to talk to son and see if he will open up to her. I also have counseling ervices available to me through my employer and I have an appointment for me next Tuesday, with hopes of them seeing son, as well. Can you think of anything else I can be doing to protect my son? I won't withhold visitation because I want to be on good ground when my case gets heard in court but it's tearing me up that son is being emotionally threatened by his dad, whom he loves.

Tuffcookie

I am so sorry that you and your sone are going through this. What a jerk for hurting his son like that. I would keep him away from his father until you go to court and I'm sure thew court will forbid his dad to take him overnight or pick him up from school. I would keep the agreement the same way it was or take away the Wed evening visits. It's not always best to be the nice one to keep the peace. I do the same with my son's dad and he just keeps hurting my son by not shpwing up and then taking him whenever it is convenient for him. I just let him get away with it and I make up excuses for him to my son. Now he has not taken him 3 weeks in a row but wants him on Xmas eve. I may just tell him to screw and not let him take him because I am sick of him doing this and he will ruin my Xmas Eve just because he is an asshole.

Hang in there. I hope everything works out at court. Make sure you tell your son that his dad is wrong for saying that to him and try to make it easier for him by keeping him uninvolved from the court thing if you can.