Hi, This is my first time posting a question. I left my marriage due to domestic violence when my son was 5yrs old and he has seen his father sporadically because I feel he is an unsafe person. My opinion has been backed up by an independent psychiatrist and my ex husband's own psychologist. We made an agreement through the courts that the father could see our children (I also have a daughter who is 4) on the condition that he also see a psychologist and if that was to cease then he would need to get a letter from the psychologist stating that it was no longer necessary. Well the father revealed to me that he has not been seeing the psychologist for the entire life of our agreement and when I asked for the letter his psychologist wouldn't give it to him. I told him to see another psychologist or continue with his exsisting one or else visitation would cease. He refused and now visists have stopped for the last two months.

My son misses his father and is romanticising his relationship with him. I've tried to explain to my son the reality of the situation, but I don't want to bag out his father, but I also don't want my son to hurt. What is the best way to handle my son's emotions? He knows why he isn't seeing his father, but can't understand why his father won't just GO to a psychologist in order to be able to see him. I don't understand either frankly.

Thanks for any help you can give me...Melinda

I don't have any good advice for you, cause if it was me :angry: I'd string him up from the tallest tree and make him pay for what he'd done... :angry:

You son loves his father and hurts from his neglect. Try to continue communicating with him about the loss. Let your son vent his hurt and frustration and listen to him with an open heart Don't feed into his anger. Try some physical activities to help stimulate a distraction. But there is really no easy way to deal with a loss!
Good luck!

When my kids are hurt by things out of my control I let them know I love them, and I listen to them without comment. It sometimes takes kids a long time to get their feelings into words, and just like us sometimes that is all they need to do to feel better. It sounds like you are handling this very well, just continue. Let the boy know that you don't understand why he (your ex) won't go either and keep being supportive. As long as you keep understanding and allowing your son to feel what he needs to he will get through it and come out okay.
Lots of prayers for you and your family.