Hi, my name is Chanel and I'm new to this site actually I just joined today, I really need someone to talk to. If their is anyone out their that wants to comment on dead beat fathers let me know, because I truly think that i have everyone beat.

Welcome to the forum. I believe you'll find plenty here that can comment on dead beat fathers parents

We're listening............

I a dead beat dad

after a long week and weekend with them at there prime I'm dead beat

Could sleep for a week can't wait till they go to there moms this weekend

Hi Chanel. I am also new to this site as well and I don't know I might have you beat with this dead beat dad thing...what you got...

quote:

Originally posted by Bishop:
I a dead beat dad

after a long week and weekend with them at there prime I'm dead beat

Could sleep for a week can't wait till they go to there moms this weekend

LOL Bishop... now that's another meaning for dead beat

Welcome to the forums shorty and misscutie

Oh forgot welcome ladies

but in seriousness my ex is a deadbeat mom

and I'm pretty sure I can tell you stories

miss cutie0906 I have a dead beat who has four other children by two of my ex- bestfriends . he lives 20 minutes from us and havent seen the children since september he has five cars with tv's in them he just bought a house with plasma tv's in darn near every room but cant or wont support his children.

bishop, I'm sorry to hear that and hear i am thinking that the woman were playing their parts as good mothers.

Well...1st son's "father" has 4 kids each by different women...a potential and i hear his girlfriend is expecting so thats 5 and a possible. he calls and lies for days and we never see anything. he doesn't work not because he's physically unable but because he simply doesn't want to but he's able to play "semi pro football" that pays nothing! He calls every now and then ask about him but doesn't come around.Are you seeking any kind of child support from him?? Does he even work?? And how many kids do you have with him, if you don't mind my asking. I think we are running neck and neck just they both big idiots and on some other stuff!!!!

Its a 2 way street

granted the male side never has traffic....


My kids mom when we were together spent all my money on clothes and shoes for herself, slept with all my friends and hasn't worked in the past 9 years... she lives off her parents

and lets me go into debt paying for our kids i take care of full time... ( I dont mind I love having them)

She does take them on the weekends to give me free time, but other then that.....

Wow I sound bitter well maybe a little

Oh and we got in an argument this morning because he said he's doing the best he can possibly do...i said so the best you can possibly do is NOTHING!??! but i'm wrong and i'm mean and evil because i don't understand...I am so clueless as to what makes me wrong. He's living off this girl but yet he takes what she gives him and spends it on bad habits instead of...socks or anything. it can be $5 on a hair cut...but he rather smoke it than share with his kids. THAT puzzles me.

Bishop...you have every right to be bitter!!! It's unfair! I love my kids to death and wouldn't change it but it sure would help if I got more help and support but I'm not going to complain...i guess it could be worse...

misscutie and bishop , All four of my children are by him. He doesn't work but he can afford anything he wants. He doesnt call , he doesnt come over, i had to track him down just so he could wish my baby girl(5) happy birthday but he calls when he wants to hook up.

The guy sounds selfish and a little full of himself

I hope your not letting him hook up.

I think its time to tell him to $hit or get off the pot.

Or tell him to stand up and be a dad or go away and let someone else take that role

bishop, I havent hooked up with him since 2002 (hope thats not to personal) . Even when I try to talk to him as mature parents he gets upset and either hangs up or walks away. Your ex gets the children on the weekend , I wish that i had that luxury. I cant remember the last break that I had.

I've learned that you can't make them do anything they don't want to do! I wouldn't even call him to get him to wish my child a happy birthday. He knew it was her birthday and just decided not to call. In the end all of this will fall back on him. I wouldn't let it get me down (if it does) or stress or depress me. I used to fuss and fight and argue with my son's dad anytime I saw him or he called and I realized it was getting me NO WHERE but wayyyyyyyyyyy to stressed to be so young. He'll have to deal with those kids when he's old and dying and wants them by his side or when they're successful and making the big bucks and he wants a piece! Karma is something else and I believe in the Lord and between the two they will get what they deserve!!!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by shortyof4:
bishop, I havent hooked up with him since 2002 (hope thats not to personal) . Even when I try to talk to him as mature parents he gets upset and either hangs up or walks away. Your ex gets the children on the weekend , I wish that i had that luxury. I cant remember the last break that I had.

Yea its nice but I have a feeling its going to end soon.....

its becomeing more headache then its worth

try misscutie you sure cant make them do anything that they don't want to, but it would be nice if you could. Sometimes i feel real sorry for him , He has it going on a little right now but it will end soon and your right he will have to deal with them sooner or later.

Yup the ex doesn't pay anything in the way of support, and has only seen one of my girls once in allmost 4 years. Fun times with schitzophernia I suppose. I may be lucky that once in a while she will send birthday cards, or calls the one I still have at home.

It AMAZES me how a "parent" can walk out of their child's life and not do anything or call or see them or spend time with them. My kids get on my nerves sooooooooooo bad most of the time...ok all the time...but i would be LOST without them! I would lose my mind. At the beginning of this year I was in the hospital for about a month and a half and although i saw them if not every day every other day i cried!!!!! I hated not being there for my kids and I CANNOT imagine life without them. Even if I didn't have custody or whatever the case may be I cannot imagine just knowing they need and not doing or not seeing them or knowing they ask about me and not doing something about it. And even though this is VERY common (parents walking out) it still bewilders me!

miss cutie, i feel you, i feel the same way, my children drive me crazy on a regular but i would be truly lost without them. To wake up and not see their faces scares me . And to think he would get upset when my friend would come around, like if you were around you would not feel so threatened . A real man doesnt wait until the mother asks him for something children grow every second the grow out of their clothes and shoes and needs haircuts too. you go to the barbershop and get a haircut so why wouldnt you think that the children need stuff. Its one thing to walk out on the spouse but its another to walk out on the babies.

I think I am going to change my title to I love my Dead Beat Parent instead of Dad...

we have more and more dead beat parents who are mothers.

I sympathize with you all.

But your children are better off with the parent that loves them. Your children are going to be very unique children, just look at me....

I have a dead beat dad..for years I harbored in anger and resentment when he entered my life even at 25 and exited faster than he walked in. I relived it in some ways when my son asked when he would meet my dad again cause he doesn't remember what he looks like.

But all is well that ends well. I couldn't have become the person I am today if he hadn't of left. It really was a blessing.

Here is a question:

well two

What are the drawbacks to the abscent parent leaving...meaning what are his/her drawbacks by making that choice?
What are the drawbacks to him if he/she stayed?...

trick question....because i am asking his/her drawbacks as in the absent parent, not your drawbacks and not that of your childs.

You will most likely see in time, things are meant to happen the way they are.

Your children as a result will be stronger, determined, and will do something special with his/her life. You just wait and see...

Focus on the child in the now..not on the ex. The more we harbor up anger and resentment towards the ex, the more your children will see life through eyes of anger and resentment.

Just my experience speaking...

My daughters father has never even seen her. He left when I was 4 months pregnant. Changed all of his contact info, and I never heard from him again.