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Parent on Board |
Hello everyone I'm so glad I found this place. Let me tell you about my situation.
After 16 years of marriage and 2 wounderful girls my life seamed to crumble to dust. About 7 months ago after coming home from a military conference my ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce. She said that she had grown apart from me, has always relied on me for support, and wants to find who she really is. She regrets getting married at a young age, and going where the military took me. I was always faithfull to her, and provided everything she needed. I even asked her can we go to marriage counselling, but she told me that would not change anything. It was like she just gave up! I still don't undestand, and I always question myself what did I do wrong? Did I not love her enough? So divorce was final as of 13 Feb 08, and I'm trying to rebuild my life. I'm lonely everyday, and hurt so much inside. My friends at work have been there for me and I'm grateful for that. My ex-wife has moved in with a male friend and she states she is his nanny?? I've asked her how can she be in a relationship with him so soon after our divorce, and she denies it. They are just friends! But my daughter came home from there house yesterday and told me mommy is sleeping in the same bed as him. Then she starting asking me questions, "Why is mommy already sleeping with him, and does not want to sleep with you anymore, etc." I wounder if my ex left me for him, and all the stuff she said was BS. The funny thing is he is the same age as me, and he is also in the military????? If you didn't like the miliary life, why are with with this guy then? I guess I need to just move on huh? I just wish she would be honest with me and tell me the truth. Now I just was on a date with a long time friend at work, and I think I like her. The problem is my emotions are going crazy and I don't think she wants to get to know me as more than a friend, but she was the one that asked me out for drinks, so I'm all confused. I dont want to lose our friendship with me trying to push more that what she wants. I feal like a teenager all over again. Anyways, I've got so much more to vent. Maybe more some other time. -Tim -Tim   |
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I am New to SFV |
Hi Tim,
Welcome to SFV. I lived through a similar situation 5 years ago, when days after my divorce my ex had a woman move in with him in our old house. The kids saw him in a new light. She turned out to be a good person who treats my children well. As for the lonliness, it dissipates with each new venture you find yourself getting into. Right now, I'm wondering where do single fathers go to spend some weekend afternoon time when they don't have their kids? Kwaz |
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SFV JUNKIE!!! |
Wow...a couple of different issues to tackle here...so...last one first:
Kwaz - single Dad's usually dont have a lot of time so when we do have time we usually try to cram a few things in one day. Like ..catching up on errands or cleaning...then going out for a beer/lunch/dinner. That's also a great time for grocery shopping or a date. I tend the think the best place to find a Good, single Dad...would be the produce aisle at the grocery store...OR, at the movie theater with his kids.  Pizza places are great for that as well. Ok.... so Time...you're story sounds so familiar. Here is the link to my first few posts here on the site: http://singlefamilyvoices.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/9751033691/m/1981015212/p/1 On top of that, despite what other say..I would highly suggest you avoid any dating relationships as yet....you're emotions are going to be pretty erratic for quite some time to come. And lastly if it's avaible through a church near you I would wholeheartedly recommend going through DivorceCare. You can see if there is a group near you here: http://www.divorcecare.com Good luck to the both of you and of course, WELCOME to the Nuthouse!    I'm a man of many mysteries and sides....SO many I'm practically round!! |
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Lively & Zealous Parent |
LOL. Yeah, I know I can often be found there. Although I do end up almost always shopping with the kids in tow - and they prefer the chip aisle ! Do the day, and let the day do you. Wireman     |
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Parent on Board |
Wow, thank you everyone for all the responses. You all care and I can tell from your post.
I've taken your adivse PaulJ, I think you are right, dating is not a good idea at this point in time. The problem is how do I control my feeling when single women at my work ask me to go out for drinks with them? I kinda think they are doing this as friends just to get me out and clear my mind of my troubles. Second, Kwaz I have no idea where a single dad can go without his kids on weekdays or weekends. Where are all the single moms? Thanks everyone! -Tim |
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I am New to SFV |
Hi I too am in the military. My son is due the end of summer. Im no longer with the mother. Its sad..but anywho Bottom line up front I kno this post is about you but being a military father can I get any advice? Im still in school Im becoming a 2LT in the Army when I graduate. Also what do you guys do about the pain of not being able to see you child everyday bc even though my son isnt yet here I am going through this daily struggle. Thanks!
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"Moderator Proud father/grandfather" SFV JUNKIE!!!  |
I missed welcoming you Tim....so.....
this place has been known to help a lot of people get their bearings after going through things like that, stick around and vent, share, and shhhhh but there's been known to be some fun around here also.   |
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SFV JUNKIE!!! |
[QUOTE]Originally posted by AFMEDIC:
.....Kwaz I have no idea where a single dad can go without his kids on weekdays or weekends. Where are all the single moms? ..QUOTE] Tim, all the good singles moms are right here.....looking for Good single Dads!  I'm a man of many mysteries and sides....SO many I'm practically round!! |
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"Doing what I can" SFV JUNKIE!!!  |
Oh ladies...our lovely Paul seems to be trying to hook us up with single men on the site . . . Hey Paul, doesn't that violate one of your rules? LMAO |
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Board Beacon Parent |
hope you find lots of support here. I think you just need time to nurse your broken heart and get things in perspective. This takes time. You've come to the best place, cos we've all been thru it. Not a good time to date now and try and find a "substitute", before you've got your own life in order. You are just carrying all that baggage into your next relationship, which will strain it (and not fair on the other person) and end up with another broken relationship, which will make you feel worse. Hang on in there!! It really does get better. Give it time.  |
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SFV JUNKIE!!! |
Nooooooo.... ...those are rules for ME, not you all. I'm a man of many mysteries and sides....SO many I'm practically round!! |
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I am New to SFV |
hi
How are u doing?I hope u doing much beeter now.I was in very bas friendship 3 yeras.My boyfriend was in militery too so one day I came back from work and what i finde it was....him in bed with other wamen.I was depres..it take me a long time to take a stap in my life...but i did and im ready fir new love ....but is not easy to finde someone who can loves you the way.. Hope u fine someone... Have a nice day
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Parent on Board |
Thanks for the welcome Don, Paul, Smshy, and everyone else. I think you are all right, but it sure in lonely. Who knows maybee I will find someone, everyone on SFV is very warm, and welcoming. I look forward to becoming addicted like some of you
starting my slow recovery...-Tim |
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"Doing what I can" SFV JUNKIE!!! |
At least this site is a good addiction.
I hope we can help you with your recovery and give you some laughs throughout as well as support. Signed, the local nut. |
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"Moderator Proud father/grandfather" SFV JUNKIE!!! |
True |
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Parent on Board |
Yeah, you all are great already and hopefully I can get some laughs along the way. "Can't wait for spring break, taking my girls to AZ"
-Tim |
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SFV JUNKIE!!! |
Cool! where you comin to, Tim?
I'm a man of many mysteries and sides....SO many I'm practically round!! |
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Parent on Board |
Heading to Glendale to visit parents, uncle, brothers, and grandmother. Getting away from the madness for a little while. So much drama with this divorce. BTW I graduated from High School in Avondale, AZ.
-Tim |
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I am New to SFV |
i am new to this site and i came across your post "new and lonely" and it caught my eye b/c i happen to be that very same thing...i am currently trying to get over a 15 year relationship, we were never married but we lived together for 10 out of the 15 years-we were high school sweethearts (although he first cheated on me back then...i should've paid attention to the signs!) anyway, despite our very tumultuous relationship...him being m.i.a for several months back when our daughter was only in first grade, money issues, domestic violence, so many things i can't and won't even begin to go into...it's a little embarrassing to even write about since i know people reading must be like what a dummy she is, she should've left him for good long ago...but what can i say for myself? i always believed the stories he'd tell me about him changing and i'd give him chance after chance, the most recent chance at us trying to work things out resulted in my having our second child only a year ago...i don't have any regrets, my children are my sunshine and joy (hence the screen name), but i do wish i hadn't wasted so much time/energy/life on this man...and despite all this i find myself missing him or perhaps the notion of him and i too find myself feeling lonely still...so i just thought i'd share with you from one lonely person to another...hey! i guess that makes us not lonely anymore?! sort of
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