I am so glad that I read some of your posts. I have a new perspective on things. Sometimes I get so angry at my ex because he is such a lousy father that I didn't really know how men could love their children and children's mothers so much. Everyone says how it's good men and good fathers out here and now I have proof . And now I know that there really are some bad mothers too (even tho I knew that as well but again I have proof). I wish my ex could read sum of your stories and realize how good he has it and how much better things could be. I also want to ask you fathers if you get looked down upon because you are single fathers? I am a single mother and people make so many rude assumptions about single mothers. Does that happen to you guys too? Or are you praised for being good fathers? Or both? What problems do you face? I'm so curious.

Most of the women look at me like I'm a hero which of course I don't buy I got to learned that not many men would do what I do.
What amazed me more is when I talk to men, for example, one time I was talking to a lawyer and he wanted me to go to California to testified and I don't remember what I said when he asked me "you are not coming here with your daughter right?".
I said of course, what am I going to do with her, leave her home alone? it took him awhile to understand, I guess in his closed mind he couldn't comprehend a man taking care of a child, I didn't hire him.
I did what to me was the only choice, at one point I started to think that may be I was wrong,thats when I found this site and I realized that I'm not the only father raising a child, now I wish I could find another father near here, I'm tired of being just one of the moms every time I take Stacy somewhere.
This subject is a lot longer than what I wrote, till next time.
Adrian

Sometimes I think I'm being judged, not so much for being a single father though. It seems sometimes I'm judged for being divorced, or for not having money, or for not having much social life, or for other things. It seems like women write me off for being divorced, because obviously I f'd that one up.

BUT actually I think people aren't really judging me and a lot of it is in my head. I've learned that no matter what I do, someone will judge me for it... and they can only truly judge me if I let them. How can someone judge something they don't know? They can't, unless I believe them. Besides, how do I know they are judging me? Am I assuming their thoughts? Unless they say something... I really don't know. A weird look could mean they are judging me... or it could mean they are insecure... or it could mean they have indigestion

One thing I get a lot of comments on, is being 30 years old with 3 kids. People, mostly women, tell me all the time... you are too young to have 3 kids. It used to get to me, now I just tell them no, I am not too young to have 3 kids and I can prove it to you. Sometimes my mind gets ahead of me and I start putting thoughts in their head... like oh they must think I'm trailer trash, or I've got 3 babies mommas, or I'm a deadbeat or whatnot. But that's all in my head not theirs. Obviously I'm not any of those things and that's what matters.

good posts fellas. nice to have the insight. moosey, i like ur philosophy on people judging. i struggle with this too. Thanks guys.

Not all of us are saints. I read posts about how bad some of their babies fathers are and I can't help but think I used to be that guy. I was the guy who couldn't stand his babies mother, I was the guy that didn't work, I was the guy who saw his kid 3-4 times a month, Yeah i was that guy.

But now I think of myself as one heck of a father. So much that I am pretty much the neighbor hood dad. All the kids come over all the time, If something happens they come tell me, its crazy.

I guess what I am saying is that we can change.It took me a couple years to figure out what I was missing. I dont know how bad your babies father is but hopefully with time he will come around to realize that he can't go without being a good dad. If not you are better off without them.