I have been reading a book I found recently in an attempt to help me help my daughter. Its titled "When Dad Hurts Mom - Helping your children heal the wounds of witnessing abuse".
Now I know that it is not always Dads that abuse but, in my case it was. Guys if you have or had an abusive relationship, put aside that it refers to male abusers because you can benefit as well. I think this book has really opened my eyes in how to continue healing and help my daughter heal. It also has advice concerning counselors, judges, evaluators, mediators, family court and much more. I started underlining things in red as I went through it.... this book looks like it is bleeding now.
If you are separated or going through a divorce with abuse being a factor... read this book before going any further!

The sad part is I would rather deal with the person, and not give the lawyers all the money. To domestic violence, I have never ever, never touched a woman, nor will I. I think men who beat women need to have there asses kicked. My mom raised me well. Oh, to the topic, I really havent found a self help book that helps, sept "men are from mars, and women are from venus". Anyway,... er well, peace

Hi Paul,
This book was an attempt at help after 6 counselors/psychologists/psychiatrist. While it did not offer me a definative answer on anything it gave me some validation and where to search if anything should arise again.

No, he never layed his hands on me. Once on our daughter... the night before I filed for divorce. She and I were living in fear of when will we be next because of the holes in the wall, the slammed cabinets, the items strewn across the room. He was/is always the emotional, manipulative abuser. The type of abuser that makes you feel as though everything is your fault and he is the victim. The type that makes you feel as though you are not as good as the scum on his shoe. The type that turns the same behavior on his daughter once you are out because that is the only way he can still get to you.

As I stated above, this book helped me understand and validate many things I have been through. Made me realize..."NO I am not crazy or wrong" ... and where to seek help if he ever shows his face again. He has only been TOTALLY out of the picture for one month.

Wow Ca I am glad to hear that this book has helped you so much. How awesome for you.

I think I might pick it up just simply because of some of the things that my foster kids go through. I am sure it will give quite a bit of insight for me.
Thanks.

I am glad to know that it helped, maybe I was looking at books of this type the wrong way. Anyway, I am glad it helped.