Hi everybody, I'm so glad I found this website. Well I'm 29 year old physician with 3 marriage proposals under my belt and now 10 weeks pregnant and alone, and never been married. And believe it or not pregnant by the "Best guy I have ever known". Funny how they show such true colors when you hit them with the BIG P Word. I really never thought this would ever EVER happen, I always thought I would be happily married with a huge rock and perfect husband and BLAh Blah blah. Anyway that's not what happened, the NICEST guy I've ever known ran faster than any other guy I could have ever imagined. This guy chased me for 3 years until I ended my previous relationship and since then we dated for 8 months and now this and he's outta here. Don't get me wrong he says he'll give me "support" but the same support I can get from my best female friend. Luckily my family is behind me and very supportive. Maybe I'm just feeling sorry for myself but How did this happen. I've contemplated abortion but I just can't go through with it. I don't think the "nicest guy" really cares either way. He's just having fun beating me up with "why didn't you break up with your ex boyfriend sooner? What the hell? Anyway I know this is long but I have to vent. If I see another happily married pregnant couple I'm going to PUKE for the 15th time today. MEN **** **** ****!!!!I'm sure i'll be more level headed about this sometime but I'm just so MAD now. If anyone has any pointers on how to handle this other than SCREAMING let me know. Thanks

Morning sickness and "left holding the baby" is the pits. Screaming is actually quite good, venting somewhere like this helps and for me the stuff that was not fit for anyone to hear I just wrote down and later burnt it. It does get better but it does take a while. I am three years on from where you are now and can honestly say most things are pretty good now. As for how this happens, I have no idea, just life has a strange way of working out but I have always trusted that it pretty much does all work out OK in the end. I am sorry that you are going through this I do remember how hard it was for me and those rotten little hormones don't help! Take care and keep venting here - there are heaps of us who have been or are in the same space you are now

Rats - don't know how that wink and roll eyes got there
Sorry about that!!!

I don't have any pointers for you, but I can totally relate! I'm almost 6 weeks pregnant, and the father hasn't spoken to me (as in ignores phone calls, won't return messages, etc.) since the day that I told him. Everyone says "oh, he's just scared, he'll come around", but you know... at this point, I don't want him to. When we were dating, he always talked about wanting children, how he thought he would make a great daddy. Whatever. I just don't understand how someone could walk away like that. He knew I had miscarried with my last pregnancy, and he actually had the stupidity to ask if there was anything I could do to hurry up a miscarriage. I really want to physically hurt him, and I hope that will pass with time. My biggest fear is that months or years from now, he'll decide he wants to be a father. I'll try the screaming, haven't done that yet...

Hi everyone, I can really relate to this discussion. I was with my ex for about 2-1/2 years. It was a great relationship at times and other times it wasn't good. He was very controlling and expected himself to be my center of attention. I begin to be unhappy and when we would fight and he told me how I was no good. I hit him. I wish I could take it all back because I feel so bad. But a person could only handle so much mental abuse. Things were great at times,but we had alot of arguments. We split in the beginning of November and I moved back home. I would still go to visit and we were actually working on our relationship.....until I was late and I found out the day before thanksgiving I was pregnant. He has not been supportive since day one. He was actually still talking to me in the beginning and spending time with me but it all has faded away. He was such a rollercoaster and one minute he wanted to continue working it out and the next he couldn't stand me. Why?? Because I choose not to abort my baby. He has never asked one thing about my baby and I'm 5 months now. He didint want me to have it and said every mean thing a person could. I'm so hurt and I can't imagine why he has done this to me. As of the past few weeks he told me to leave him alone and not to call him anymore. I'm so hurt!!! He has ignored my phone calls, text messages and he didn't even answer his door when I went to see if he would talk to me. Stupid...I know I am because I'm only hurting myself. And I keep doing it. I have tried so much to get him involved for the baby. I learned that I can move on later and I just want him to be there for his baby. I'm 26 years old and moved back with my parents. If it wasn't for them I would be in a totally different direction. HE told me I CHOOSE THIS!! Of course I did and I'm proud of my CHOICE. I just don't see how a person can be so cold. I sent so many texts just trying to understand and all I get is leave me alone and he is threatening me now. Thats a different story, he also told me he is talking to some one else. How does that make me feel! Like such crap. I work full time and I stress myself too much over him. I'm sorry to go on and on but I need advice. This is not a easy thing to go through. YOu see couples together and it really gets' to me. I think why can't he be that way with me! I UNDERSTAND EVERYONE'S PAIN AND HURT, BECAUSE I HURT ALOT FROM THIS. I just know his will come one day.

I think some of the men on this sight need to some what address this one. Explain some of the emotions you all go through when she says "I'm pregnant" I think these ladies might need your imput.

To add additional hurt, I just found out my ex is seeing other girls. I was connected with numbers with different girls. I can not believe him. I know it sounds psycho but I had to find out for myself. Why is it he is doing this to me? I finally give up. It hurts and it's going to be hard but he is the biggest jerk I know. I need advice........please!!!!

Been a while since this thread has been referenced but it came to mind reading this.
http://singleparentsnetwork.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?/topic/5/457.html Read it for what it's worth, just a conversation that took place that may or may not give you any insight to your situation.

There is not one answer really behind why guys leave. Guys are not all the same, just as relationships aren't, even though we can find so many similarities despite the differences.

ereyna, it doesn't sound psycho, it sounds like you had an intuition about what he was about, and had to find out the truth. Sorry that had to be the truth behind it.

Thanks for the advice! It helps to read I'm not the only one going through this. I'm 5 months and Im going for my ultrasound on Friday. My angel is what is keeping me going. It was hard to get into work today because I just wanted to lay there. But, that would be him getting the best of me. I have another person to worry about now. I guess I just was so brain washed and so hopeful that he would change and want to make it work. He let me think that in the beginning, and now I see what he is doing and how he lied. It's really hard, but I know what comes around goes around. I know I sound crazy but I let each girl know I was 5 months pregnant and just to put something in there head about him. They can do what they like with him from here on. One I spoke with was really nice and she is also from his past. I don't think he has a chance because she told me to call her anytime. I'm not going to because I got what I wanted. I'm done with the chasing and trying. I found out the hard way, but I think that is what I needed. I read some of the threads and I see your taking your responsibility of raising your daughter. I have a step-dad which I consider my real dad. To me it takes a real man to raise a child and I honestly don't know understand most of the guys these days. I know they are scared, but instead of back tracking and going out and partying (especially at almost 30) you think they would want to move ahead. I don't need him and I just want him to be there for the baby and be involved. I know this is his way of getting me back because he doesn't agree with my choice. But hey like they say if your going to play you might have to pay!! I'm being responsible and I'm going to do the best I can for my child with or without him. And who knows....I might just find a great MAN to replace and want to be involved. It is going to be hard because it hurts so bad but I have so much to look forward to. I really appreciate your help. It only will get better from here!!! I have to stay postitive.

Ereyna, I feel for you. My ex was the biggest ******* because I told him bar none that I would not abort my baby. He would call me up just to tell me that I was a miserable old hag, I was a *****, that he wasn't even the father, and that was the nice stuff! What really took me to the 6 steps beyond pissed point was when I found out from my doctor that because of all the stress he put me under, I almost miscarried. I will never forgive him for that. I'll be 25 in a week, and I ended up having to move back in with my folks last year, right before I gave birth to my absolutely beautiful son. He is now 8 1/2 months old, and just my angel. I have no idea where his "sperm donor" is, nor do I really care. I just hope your ex keeps in mind that karma is a bitch, and you have every right to be too.
Good luck as your pregnancy progresses, and please, be sure to keep us posted!

Oh I will definately keep everyone posted. I have something new to look forward too. And I can relate to you also. I heard how bad of a person I am and I'm poor, so how do I think I can take care of a baby. I'm selfish, b@%#%!! Oh well, I know what comes around goes around. I just really did not want things to get ugly. I just hope in the future he will be a better dad. If not he is replaceable. My mom found my step-dad which is MY DADDY!! Like I said it takes a real man. I'm going to be ok and I know because I have a great family.
I just found out I can tape my ultrasound tomorrow!! I'm so excited! This will be the best news I have ever got. So NewMom1 how is it being home with the parents and raising a baby? I'm going to stay with them for a while then I want my own place. Which I can't afford right at the moment. Does he see his son now? And does he pay child support? Take care!

Nope, he doesn't see his son, he doesn't pay child support. I have no idea where he even is, nor do I really care. Like you said, they are replaceable. I told him the last time I talked to him when I was about 6 months along, that if he was going to deny that my son was his, then fine. I wasn't going to argue with his demented logic. He could just forget we exist. Which is what he has done. But, I have Tristan, so I'm happy.
As for living with my folks, it has actually gone better than I expected. My mom doesn't want me to ever move out. She and my dad love having their little "grandbuddy" around anytime that they want to see him. My mom is watching him during the day while I work, and my dad gets really excited when he comes home from work and the baby has a huge smile for his grandpa. I still would like to be able to move out when my finances are stable enough, but until then, we actually are doing very well. Most people were telling me to be careful, that they would take over, but that is so not happening in my case. I am the mom. Mom is the grandma.
So, you get to tape your ultrasound, that's great! I have 2 of them myself. I love it! I also have still pictures. It was so hard to see if Tristan was going to be a boy or a girl, because the first ultrasound, he had his little legs crossed, and the 2nd time, he mooned the camera. Let us know what happens! <<<hugs>>>

Hi Newmom1,
Well I have great news!! I'm having a girl and she looked great. She was moving so much and opening and closing her hands. The only thing that was noticed is a spot on her heart which the ultrasound picked up. From what the ultrasound tech explained nothing to worry about, but I'm going to see a perinatologist (not sure if I spelled it right). Which is a specialist just to double check and they have more advanced machines. So I see it's working out with your parents, Great!! My parents are good also. Sometimes I have to let my Mom know my choices and how I feel but, I know it is out of excitement. We just bought the crib and it is amazing how things are actually REAL. I'm so happy with the results and I can't wait until she is here.
So how is your son doing? Do you want to get child support or would you rather just to let it be? Also are you dating again? I'm just curious. Because I guess I think it's going to be weird dating after the baby. Your state could find him you know. I don't know what I'm going to do either as far as support? He just changed his number and has his mommy and friends thinking I'm psycho, I just wanted him to be involved for the baby. I so don't like him now. But I definately am going to take him for support. Why should he get away with it? And the only other thing is he could give his rights up but I heard I need a adopted parent? Does anyone know about Wisconsin laws? I'm still checking into this. He wants to take off and enjoy his single life. I heard from his mother's boyfriend that he wanted to get a restraining order against me!! I'm not crazy, I'm just pregnant and wished he would accept my pregnancy and the baby. What do I do!!! I guess I leave him alone for now and see if he will come to terms one day. I'm not a psycho person and I could see if I was not pregnant. Then something is wrong but I have his baby!! It doesn't matter to him and I can't stand him for it. What comes around goes around!! Well keep in touch. I'm doing so much better knowing I'm having my GIRL!!
Take care!!

Yay! Girl, I am so happy for you! I'll tell you honey, it does not feel completely real until you are holding that child in your arms. That is what brings it all home. I had my mom, grandma, and one of my friends in the room with me, and my mom even got to cut the cord. She was so stoked.
As for my son, he is doing wonderfully, thank you so much for asking. He is just HUGE for an 8 1/2 month old! He is off the growth charts in height. In fact, he is already wearing 9-12 month clothing!
And to answer your question, no, I never went after my ex for child support. I told him that if he was going to be so delusional as to forget we exist, then I wouldn't go after him for it, and I have made good my word. No, I am not currently dating, nor have I done so since I left my ex. Of course, I'm living in a new state, so I really don't know anyone, except some of the people I work with. Other than that, I just stay at home with Tristan.
Honey, if you want to go after him for support, I say go for it. I'll stand behind you all the way. Other than that, just don't have anything to do with him if he's going to be this much of an ***. He is so not worth it. But just remember, you will have a beautiful baby girl who will be able to grow up whole and healthy away from negative influences. Let me know what the specialist says! I'm really curious about that myself.....

Eyrena, I've been reading your posts, and I'm sorry for what you are going through with this man. As I keep reading them, one thought comes to my mind constantly. This man, as you can see, wants nothing to do with you or the baby. Ever since I had my daughter, she is my life. We are best friends, I was terrified leaving her at new daycare centers or new sitters as I read so many stories about things that happen to children. So many kids die at the hands of their parents or step parents. I'm getting to my point. Anyway, since my daughter comes first and foremost to me, I would NEVER EVER subject her to being in the same room with a man who wants nothing to do with her. I will not subject her to rejection, especially from her own father. Forget him, why would you force someone to try and feel something that apparently isn't there? Don't subject your daughter to that. Devote yourself to her, forget him, it's his loss. And believe me, if he has any kind of feelings to speak of, he will regret one day what he is doing now. Enjoy your daughter! It's not easy, doing it alone, but somehow you do it.