I personally feel pregnancy is pretty intimate. My ex and I have a 17-month old daughter together and I am pregnant with our 2nd child. He was there during my entire pregnancy, labor, delivery, etc. with our daughter and was great. We broke up in early February and I've been doing this all on my own. Lately he's been coming to see our daughter for a few hours every week, and he's also come to a couple of my prenatal appts, mostly the "big" ones like the ultrasound. This is really the only time we talk or see each other and we keep the conversations pretty basic. Lately I've been struggling with what crosses the line. This is the first time in 6 years of an on again/off again relationship that I finally feel like we are done and I do NOT feel any sexual feelings towards him. I know this is really what I am comfortable with but I'm just curious for other that were single and pregnant but had a decent relationship with the ex. Did you let him feel the baby move, did you let him stay with you for a couple days after the baby was born? I am sure I'll let him in the delivery room but I'm just struggling with everything else. I want him to bond with this baby, it's his child too, but I also don't want to deny him some of those bonding experiences. It's just hard because right now it's my body and some of those bonding exeriences sometimes feel like they might cross the intimacy line. Maybe I need to decide if it's something HE can handle as I think all his feelings for me are still there.

Tough one

I would say to let him go as far as you feel comfortable without passing any personal barriers but make sure that you have a conversation with him about the matter and let him know that this will not change how you feel about him.

From personal experience I can tell you that he does not need to touch you in order to bond with your child, he will be able to bond with your child after your child is born and he spends his time with him/her.

I'm in that situation now. I had my 32 week scan today which his mother accompanied me to. We've stayed close friends and although he has a new girlfriend, and has started another life, he still wants to be an active father with this child. So far, he's not been particularly reliable, but in his eyes, baby hasn't arrived yet, therefore he doesn't have to do stuff yet.
When baby does arrive, he'll need to learn (the same as I will) how to change nappies, how to feed, bathe, dress baby etc. I'm actually moving back to my parents house for the first few months, and I'm planning on asking him to turn up there for at least an hour every day for the first week, at different times of day so that he can catch bits of routine and learn.

I'm hoping he'll be present at the birth, but he hasn't decided whether thats the case or not. He cares about me, and would have trouble seeing me in pain. He'll certainly be at the hospital, just maybe not in the room with me until baby has popped out!

There will be plenty opportunity for him to bond with baby later, as long as he stays nearbye. I wont be having him staying at my parents with me, but he can visit as often as he wants. He wont miss out on anything.

Only do what you are comfortable doing, and if you dont know whether you'd be comfortable, try it. If its not comfortable, you know not to do it again.

Thanks! I haven't allowed him to feel the baby or anything, I don't think I'm comfortable with that knowing HE probably can't handle it. And like you both said, he can bond with the baby after s/he is here. It'll be his responsibility to see the baby anyways and that level of bonding will be his to decide.

I too am in the same situation. For months all i wanted him to do was to touch my belly and share in this miracle that is growing inside of me. And, I will tell you this when he did (which wasnt very often) I was so amazed at how great it felt and it really was an intimate experience. With the way things stand between him and I now, It just bothers me. Cause he has treated me horribly the last few months and I feel like he has no right to touch me anymore like that. It really depends on how you feel about it and whether or not it is comfortable for you. If not, dont let him. In my eyes my ex asked for it. So im giving him what he deserves NOTHING. When it comes down to it, only do what is right for you and not him. Right now Im trying to determine if he should be in the delivery room with me. I think that is very intimate and I want him there b/c it will be such an amazing experience, but then again Im so mad at him for treating me like **** so i dont really know what to do. Some of my friends think he needs to see what I am and will go through, Maybe ANy advice on that one would be great. Well good luck to you and congrats on your baby.

I am in the same situation. I have a 15 month old son (my ex-h has not helped in raising him)and am 21 weeks pregnant with our second son. I have had all the parenting responsiblities and my ex-h is not sueing me for joint custody. My son does not even know him. Even when he was living with us he rarely looked at the baby. How will I know my boy is safe when he has to go to his dad's. What am I going to do about leaving my newborn when he wanted nothing to do with my first son until now?

How do I get over these feelings and know my boys will be safe?