hello all...im new to the site. I just found out yesterday that there is a bun in the oven. im 26 years old and dont have any o ther children. The father and i have been together for 2 years, he has two little girls of his own. He's already expressed that he doesn't want another child right now.....so basically I would be a single mother. My life is a mess right now, im between jobs..i enrolled in school for january. im struggling to take care of myself. Anyone that knows me knows that i love children. I would love my child with everything i have...but what if love isnt enough? I'm trying to weigh everything out...i want to do whats best. im petrified of being a single mother. i dont have ANY help at all. both my parents have passed, my sister lives in long island (im in the bronx) and all my friends have lives of their own. How am i supposed to work, go to school and take care of a kid???? The thought of taking the option of not having this baby just makes me sick. I feel like it might make me snap. im so scared, i feel so alone and confused.

Redfalcon,
I swear your post was as if I had written it myself! Although, I have hand-over-mouth yrs on you :O), I,too...in between jobs (how do you get a decent one while preggy, right?) I am also starting school in Jan. (whole new career path, yikes!)And feeling very alone since b/f of 2 yrs. & I broke up and he has a new g/f.
This is my second go around as a single parent, my daugher will be 15 (lord have mercy!) and I'm doing this all over again, I think I'm crazy! :O)
But I promise you, the love you have for your child will drive you to be a better person. Somehow you realize that it's not only for them, but for you as well. By no means am I going to tell you it's a cakewalk, but from somewhere inside, you find the strength and the drive. You are young and your life is still ahead of you to do with what you make it. And you can make it! Believe in yourself, it's a struggle I deal with everyday, but I also hold to the fact that one of these days...!
This is only my third post, but I can tell you that the people here are so supportive. Just reading things they have posted for others helps me as well.
I really need to take my own advice! The first step to recovery is admission though, right??? :O)

So i woke up and made an appointment for a termination of pregnancy but as I was speaking to the woman on the phone i really hit me what i was doing. I firmly believe my God doesnt give you more than you can handle but right now I am so completely overwhelmed. Im so afraid that i will screw up the life of my baby. I am barely able to guide myself through everything. The father made it clear that he doesnt want anything to do with another baby. its amazing what runs through your head in a matter of minutes...I have never been so scared and confused in my entire life...

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I can't imagine what you must be going through. Do you have family or friends that you can talk to? Please do what YOU want to do, what is your heart telling you to do. Pray or meditate on this.

In almost every post, I seem to find a quote to share. But hopefully, the following can give you some peace: "Let nothing trouble you,
let nothing frighten you,
everything passes,
God never changes;
patience
obtains all;
whoever has God
wants for nothing.
God alone is enough"

St. Teresa of Avila (1515-1582)

The lord is my rock, and my safe place, and the ONE Who takes me out of trouble. My God is my rock, and Whom I am safe. He is my safe-covering, my saving strength, and my strong tower. Psalm 18:2

Take care. -Karen

quote:

Originally posted by redfalcon518:
So i woke up and made an appointment for a termination of pregnancy but as I was speaking to the woman on the phone i really hit me what i was doing. I firmly believe my God doesnt give you more than you can handle but right now I am so completely overwhelmed. Im so afraid that i will screw up the life of my baby. I am barely able to guide myself through everything. The father made it clear that he doesnt want anything to do with another baby. its amazing what runs through your head in a matter of minutes...I have never been so scared and confused in my entire life...

Wow...sorry to hear your goign through this..been there.

I think the one time I ever felt rejected by anyone was the baby's father...it was a rude awakening that his love for me was not in the right place. I had not realized our relationship was so conditional..doesn't it take two to make a baby? I couldn't understand how I could be loved as long as I wasn't pregnant. To me that showed me not only his love was condition instead of unconditional, but perhaps he didnt love me at all. I chose to move on. I cut him lose, but he came back, and it last another 8 years after that. IT still didn't work, because I had realized he stayed only for the baby. Had I realized that sooner, I would not have allowed him to reenter my life. But I have no regrets. I made decisions to the best of my abilities.

So hang in there. Hormones are flying everywhere right now. Fear is heightened, and every other emotion also seems heightened. Dealing with the unexpected, change of events, in addition to the relationship possibly ending, can make one feel a little clouded and doubtful, and unsure.

Make a heartfelt decision, don't look at the what if's and move forward. No matter what you chose, it will be a decision you will have dear to your heart. Chose the one that will make you happy.

Hi, redfalcon

sorry to hear that you are going through so much. I can relate in so many ways. Hang in there. Ive been through it before and going through it again. Its not easy and there are days that will be harder and some that will be easier. things always have a way of working out in the end. ((Hugs)) email me if you need support it helps to have someone to talk to!!

Hello Redfalcon, Hope you're still checking in. I am right there with you. What do you do with this little life that you are responsible for? Well, I'm still asking myseldf the same question. Dad doesn't want to be involved and there's no help. I know a lot of people will say this but we are going throught the same exact thing. You said something that was key..."God does not put more on you than you can bear" and you (we) must really believe this. They say that everything changes after your baby is born and you just do it. You do everything that life demands of you because your child needs you. I'm 7 months and am depending on the motherhood bug to kick in..lol. So It seems as though you know what you want to do and it IS indeed very scary. Motherhood is not a cheap hobby that can be dropped if we don't like the "parenting thing". No its our new life. And you WILL be able to do it! God will make a way. I will continue to pray for you. Be well.

Hi Redfalcon ,I'm so glad that you found us WELCOME, Everything happens for a reason, you getting pregnant and having a baby is a blessing, god does not give you something that you can not handle believe i know, i have four children 10,9,7 and 5 and I am 29 and single everyday I thank him for my babies and everyday i pray that i will stay strong enough for them. Its hard real hard but its worth it, so relax and stay strong because in the long run yo will be HAPPY that you had that special baby.

I take may hat off to you shortyof4! Wow, I thought I had it hard. You really do know strength and preseverence! 10,9,7 and 5..huh? I guess you do just ...do it no matter what. I will also keep you in my prayers. soon2b

Thank you soon2b, I know that you can do it to, it seems like your life will never get better but it will , when your son is born you will forget about all the drama and focus on him. So again stay strong, relax and enjoy being pregnant. talk to you soon.......

Soon, remember that when they are older they entertain themselves, even though this is through is still hard.
Red, listen, I know it looks overwhelming but trust us when you say you'll manage, look at me, I hadn't change a diaper until my wifes accident and its been 4 years and I'm the happiest man alive. I go to birthday's parties almost every weekend, sit down and talk to the rest of the moms like one more...lol, what can we do? Its the hand that life dealt us.
Once the baby is born you are going to see everything with a new perspective, trust the mothers here.