I just dont know if I wanna do this anymore! Since ive been pregant ive had more sad than happy days. The father of my unborn child hates my guts. I asked him why he never even called or texted me sometimes just to see how Im doing. He told me he honestly does not want to talk to me and the only reason he communicates with me now because im pregnant. He still holds against me all the things that went wrong in our relationship. My mother still has not called me to see how im doing. Im tired of feeling alone and ccrying! Ive been dealing with all these feelings of abandonment and neglect since ive been pregnat. Im 15 wks im thinking i could just be done with all of this and never look back if i had an abortion. How can he be so mean to someone carrying his child? How can my mother turn her back on me like this when I need her the most? I know the baby is innocent and none of this is his/her fault, but im tired of the pain! Im tired of being unhappy! I wanna be happy again! Why should I share a child with a man who hates my guts and cant even call once a wk to see if im still breathing. I dont know how much more i can take.

Hello Nurse,
I'm not one to tell you whether to terminate your baby's life or not, but what I can say....

Doing that will not change how these people do, have and will treat you.

Hang around, wait for the ladies responses who have been your same situation.

Despite how it feels...You're not alone.

Nurse,

I would like to add that this is probably one of the most important decisions you will ever have to deal with. Should you go through with an abortion, it will affect your life, but so will having the baby. I am speaking from experience on this one.

Rarely do I discuss this in such open fashion, somewhere where the world can view it, but I have walked in your shoes myself. I am male, so I was not carrying the baby, but I was definitely the father. My girlfriend at the time became pregnant, and neither of us knew what to do. We kept it a secret from everyone, and the next thing I knew, she wasn't pregnant anymore. unbeknown to me, she had gotten an abortion.

As if that wasn't enough, the same girl broke up with me 2 years later for a span of 3 months. I had no idea why until after we had gotten back together again. One night, her purse fell off the dresser and spilled on the floor. To my surprise there was a sonogram picture with a date of 2 months prior. I asked her what it was, and she immediately started crying. Through her tears she admitted that she had left me to get a second abortion.

Personally, I was devastated, and not a day goes by that I don't think of what could've been. Now that I have my own child, it is even that much harder to comprehend how she was able to go through with it.

She and I are no longer together, but we are still friends, and we have discussed this since. She has admitted to me time and time again that if she had the chance to do it over, she wouldn't. She now has a son that is 2 years older than Trey, and she is now a single parent. Even though it's not what she had in mind, she has told me that she thinks about it all the time, and sometimes just breaks into tears.

While I know that you aren't taking this decision lightly, just keep in mind that ultimately your decision will affect your life drastically one way or the other. I would never try to persuade you one way or the other, as Amy said it's your body and nobody can tell you what to do with it.

I can say this much though. While being a single parent is not what I had planned for my future, I am one, and I would not change it for the world. One look into my sons eyes, one "I love you dadda", one anything is enough to bring tears of joy to my eyes. He is not only my son, but my best friend, and that is something that no one will ever be capable of matching. The bond between a parent and a child is irreplaceable.

I wish you luck in your decision as it is not an easy one, but regardless, what ever you should choose, those of us here at SFV will be here to support you regardless.

-J

thanks everyone who responded with words of encouragement. I really dont wanna abort my baby. I want this child. Its the pain of being alone and rejected constantly by the people that I love that i want to run away from. Im just tired of crying, tired of wondering when the dad is gonna call to see how im doing, tired of wondering how long my mother is gonna ignore me, tired of crying and going through emotional roller coasters. Im just tired of it all. Im not even very far along. Im waiting and waiting, seems like forever till the baby gets here. During that time im just supposed to **** it up and pretent like every thing is ok? Im tired of doing that cuz everything is not ok. How can i enjoy being pregnant with all these negative people and negative situations around me? Im sorry you guys. Im just venting. But Im just TIRED.

Tired...oh tired is my middle name sweetie.

But you know what I will tell you.....seriously......enjoy the time you have to wait on things right now! When this baby gets here you'll no longer have any time that is yours....lol.

It is rough when you are surrounded by negatives all the time. The best advice I have is to find a place of positives now. This board is great and so is cafemom...but we can't bring you soup if you get sick. Have you looked into any groups locally through the hospital or local churches for pregnancy and new mommies?

You definately are not alone in your feelings young nurse, as I have been going through the same thing and am about as far along as you are. I can't imagine going through this without my mother, though. It must be really tough.

My ex has treated me the same way since he broke it off with me. He disappeared for a month and then got upset when I started telling people my child's father had ditched me. WHat hurts the most is the pain of waking up in the morning and loving someone who doesn't even care, and believe me: I know what that feels like. It's agony and your guy is a jerk too if he doesn't recognize how much you're hurting through this and man up to help take care of you. My ex even told me that "my feelings were not his responsibility and not his concern." It sounds like your ex has been the same way....

On the upside, you'll be feeling those first flutters soon and that will help a lot. It sounds like you love your baby, so try to put aside that anger and focus on how great of a person that baby and you both are and will be. I can't say the pain dies because it doesn't, but loving your baby more for all the pain makes things easier to bear. Just make that baby your strength. I can tell you love her, so don't let her down.

If you ever need to talk contact me. I think you and I have very similar situations so in the absence of your mother, it might help to have someone else with whom you can relate. I hope things get better for you soon.

Looks like me meet again nurse! First id like to say that i want to give you first hand experience from the other side; because i desided to go threw with the abortion yesturday. I was 12 weeks. The father spent the night and went with me (although that is the frist time we spent time together since i told him i was prego) and he was actually really supportive before and after the procedure; he made sure i was ok before he left the next day. . . . we both made it clear afterward it was the last time we would be contact each other. I cried most of the night and the whole morning. While i was sitting in the waiting room I KNEW that it was the best decision for me. It hurt mentally because im a woman and emotional, and its going to, i'd be more worried of a woman that isnt saddend by getting an abortion.

After it was over, sad to say, it felt bittersweet. I was happy that I was finially DONE with the ******* and the whole situation, and that i could move on with my life, but i wondered "what if?" and "I wonder what the baby would look like" kinda stuff, but was reassured by the counselor that those feelings were normal. I dont REGRET my choice. If your not ready your not ready. Period. I am still young, and hopefully have many years left to find a husband and have children, God willing.

I was in the same situation as you, you even commented on some of my blogs. We were both successful, emotional, sad, depressed, alone and abondoned. What helped me with my choice is that i made a decision in my mind and watched how it made me feel. If you feel like you would regret getting an abortion DONT DO IT. Make the decison that you will be able to LIVE with. I made my choice already and am satisfied its over, but I am not you, and do not and would not advise a woman to get an abortion unless she is at least > 50% sure thats what she wants to do (I never felt 100% or even 75% sure at any point). I hope my words are reasurring, and i hope you find the choice that is right for you. . . . . AND FEEL CONFIDENT IN ANY CHOICE YOU MAKE, BECAUSE YOU MADE IT FOR A REASON, SO HOLD ON TO THOSE REASONS!!!!!!!

Hi Nursie, I have been going through the same thing you are going through. This has to be a decision that YOU and only YOU make. No one else can do it for you. I know it is hard because crying everyday (as I did for the 1st 4 months of my pregnancy) gets extremely exhausting and you just want it all to go away and that is the alternative...terminiation. But depending on your age, your stability and your support systems YOU CAN DO IT!!! I have had to go through therapy to get to this point but it doesn't stay this way always. Its tough and there are days I wonder how did I get here...to this point in my life but eventually you know that this baby will bless your life..even if you don't see it now. Please try to remain dtrong and continue to talk to people. Don't give up. Cry if you need to but don't slip into an depression. Sit with yourself and tap into your tru feelings and decide whats best for you and your life and go from there. Whatever you do you must make peace with it eitherway. Do not allow negativity from outside sources to bimbard your life. YOu have enough to deal with. All the best to you.

Sorry I ended before I could say...I'm not urging you one way or another you have do do what will make you happy not what others feel you SHOULD do.

Hi everybody. I just wanted to thank all of you for your encouraging words. Also to give you an update.

I made the appointment to for the abortion, went to the clinic, sat down to fill out the paperwork, then turned around and left the building. The moment I walked into that place a very dark and heavy feeling came over me. It was very quiet and....eery. I knew i didnt belong in there. Once I left that horrible feeling of darkness left and I felt a huge burden being lifted off my shoulders. I have no doubt in my mind that Im supposed to be a mother and Im carrying a baby for a reason. The days prior to the appointment my baby moved and kicked like crazy, almost as if it could sense what I was thinking about doing. Since I havent been thinking of aborting anymore and that Ive accpeted my role as a mother, my baby is alot calmer. Still kicks and moves, but much calmer. Its really amazing, ive already bonded with this baby and ive never even met him/her.

The situation with the father hasnt improved. He's started a new relationship with his first baby's mother. Apparently this has been going on for a while. I just dont understand why he had to lead me on in the beggining of the pregnancy pretending like he cared, still coming around and making plans with me. He could have told me then he was seeing her, but I guess that would have been too much like right. She knows im pregnant but she doesnt care, and i dont know if he family knows. He is still a child miself, obviously.

My mom is getting a little better. Still doesnt check on me regularly, but she did call a few nights ago. Didnt really ask much about the baby, it was more small talk. She wasnt as cold as she normally is. I guess she is coming around slowly.

My eyes are still trying to dry after reading this. You are a brave and beautiful young woman. This baby is so lucky to have someone like you to raise her.

I'm so sorry that you've had to go about this alone. I don't really think you're alone though... It's going to get better for you young nurse, but I won't lie to you, there will be some tough roads ahead too. You can do this though.

I would urge you (if you haven't already) to get a hold of your local WIC (Women, Infants, and Children) office and make an appointment to start receiving their assistance. Look it up on-line if you aren't familiar with it. It is probably the most positive, helpful social program in our nation for new and expecting mothers. I loved it and it is actually why I'm finishing college- to help people in the same way I was helped.

I'm really proud of you and not because of the choice you made (though I like that too), but because you followed your heart. They say (whoever "they" is I guess) that when people feel a weight lifted off their shoulders, it means that they made the right decision for themselves; that being the one that they really wanted to make all along. You are going to be a great mom.

YoungNurseMommy,

I dont know what to say....I'm a man...but I tell you...I would never want to have that kind of decision to be available to me.

You've already read my response up there; all I can say is I'm very proud of you.

Hang in there...let know how everything goes...and most importantly...we need pictures...when your little munchkin comes.

Congratulations, Mommy!