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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Pregnant and Alone pregnent and feel helpless|
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Learning to Surf The Board |
hello my name is marien from kirkwood new york i am 17 years old and im pregnent and in a bad sitution im still in love with the father who wants nothing to do with me or the baby..he has a drug problem and already has a kid whos 5 the fathers 22 and im still head over heels for a idiot..i am very confused and not happy to be pregnent at all i want the baby but dont want to parent my baby with out a father i wish i could find someone though i feel theres no hope..i had to grow up without a father and barely a mother i dont want my child to have to grow up with out a father..i have a very uneventfull life...the only thing i do thats worthwile is help me friend out with her 2 little ones and then the rest of the time i sit home doing nothing..i still hang out with my babys fathers brother but that only makes it worse..i am not happy to be pregnent at such a young age i may seem excited but inside i am not at all..i cry alot when im by myself and i always said that a good girl like me who never was popular was gonna get pregnent..i always thought because i have really bad self esteem that i was ugly nobody would want anything to do with me then i move out of my moms and i start things i thought i never thought i would do drugs,alcohol,almost got arrested 4 times for drugs...i was 8 weeks didnt know and doing bad drugs and i was drunk everyday i thought it would help hide my unhapiness but it got me into this sititation worse...i find out i was pregnent and cryed for days and days i wouldnt talk to nobody i shut out the world...then i lost all my friends and i lost myself and i told the fathers i was pregnent when i was 2 months and he called me names and yelled at me why cant he stand up and be a man and accept that yeah he made a mistake and step up and be a daddy i am only 17 and i stood up and accepted yes i made mistake but im gonna have this baby and be the best mother i can be...since i was 13 i wanted a baby thinking i would have someone to love but now im pregnent and not wanting to be..i am very confused i wrote a poem on my situation and it helped to get it out..though noone knows my true feelings and i believe i will never tell theres secrest about my babys father i wont tell things that would really start a war stuff hes done to me and said are diserbing but i am scared...my mother seems excited but shes not happy at all...i am not happy to be pregnent not by the babys father hes abusive,threatens me,boses me around and alot of other things...i am scared and very unhappy.....im looking for friends,someone or peoles suppoortive and understand me..please help me im lost and scared and very unhappy...
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I am New to SFV |
I'm so gald you wrote this entry. I have been feeling the same way. I just found out the other day that my baby's father has a girlfriend of seven years. Tomorrow I have to confront him about it all, I'm scared that because I busted him he won't want to have anything to do with me. I, myself grew up without a father and my mom died when I was 10. I thought this whole time (I'm 9 months pregnant)that he was gonna be with and help me. Now, I fear she won't have her father, and I won't have this man that for some reason, after everything he's done to me, I'm in love with. I don't know how to let the feelings I have for him go. As far as not being happy about being pregnant, its hard to be happy about having a child who is going to depend on you and only you. I put on an act too in front of my family and friends. I say i'm excited and happy but inside I'm the most scared I have ever been. I feel like my whole intire world is crashing down on me and only me. I ask myself the same thing on how he can't just stand up and except the fact that he messed up too. I'm 20 and he is 24, how come I know what has to be done and he can just get away with acting like a complete ass and not care about the child he helped bring into this world. Many of men have done this...I don't understand how they can and live with themselves but somehow, they can. I like to think that once I have my baby in my arms, God will give me all the strength that he has given up. I wish you the best and please remember, you're not the only one, because, before you wrote this entry, I thought I was the only one feeling this way. Keep Faith! |
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Learning to Surf The Board |
thank u so much for responding i wrote the same entry in teen mothers nobody responded..yeah i know how u feel obviously my bays father has took my heart and tore it up with a knife and i still seem to want to go back to him hoping that maybe hell change maybe helll stop punching me or threatening me with a knife and gun maybe theres hope then something really bad happens and that small sliver of hope is gone..i seem to find myself calling his cell begging for him to help me raise my baby but i know deep down in theres no hope hes soo long gone in to the drug and strip bars and beating on me he dont care no more...thank u for advice and encouragement it helped thank you soo much keep faith and maybe it will get better in a good way we never expected.....
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"Parent on Board" Parent on Board |
Wow...you sound so much like me when I was younger. At least the past few years of my life. It is normal to still have feelings for the father of your child...you will more than likely always have feelings for him. You and him will share something extremely sacred and special for all eternity....a child. There will be times you will look at that child and see the father in him/her.....and want to scream, bawl your eyes out, something....that is normal. I go through that every now and then. I, like you did not want a child, and was not ready....however you tend to ready yourself somewhere throughout those nine months....and in the end you realize everything was worth it. You need to ask yourself this: Will I love my child? Will I be able to provide my child with all he/she NEEDS...not wants, but needs? If you can answer those with yes you are on the right track. I saw my son and fell in love in an instant. I never knew I could know love like that. If the father of your child treats you badly, then you don't need to be with him. If he treats you that way, what is to say he won't treat his own child that way? If he does drugs, you definitely don't want him around....because if he is around and you want to keep your baby, then you might lose your child by having someone like your ex around. To want a baby to have someone to love is a selfish thing...you need to love yourself first before you can love someone else. Obviously you have learned this....that is good. If you find it in your heart to forgive yourself and learn to love yourself, you will be fine, and come out of this learning a ton about life, yourself, and having a beautiful child whom you will love dearly and who will love you back. If you ever need anything pm me...I will get in touch with you. You are in my prayers. BTW...Austin sends kisses!!  |
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Learning to Surf The Board |
thank u soo much i wrote a poem about my situation and my feelings ill share it down below.....you came to me as a miracle not a mistake
i sit here crying never thought i would get pregnent at a young age i now wonder how do i tell the man that doesnt love the man that doesnt care for me i wonder what will happen to you when i have u will u be unloved by my family and friends and your daddy as i was i sit here wondering how do i tell the family and friends who had hope in me that i failed them once again i never thought i was gonna get pregnent by what i thought was harmless passion i have told your daddy thought he walks out tells me he doesnt want u or the resposibility i am now crying and sobbing begging for god to take me away forever i have nothing now,i am nothing i got the courage to tell all who believed in me that yet agsin i have failed them most just walk out and never want anything to do with me though i know itll get better i know you were created for a reason and yes one day very determined to find out though for now i must stay strong for u my baby and for myself as we are gonna make it we are gonna find new friends we are gonna survive though take it one day at a time i know one day i will find that specail someone who will adore me and my baby and treat us good but for now ill wait cause your on your way and im gonna start a life for us though i cant wait to hold u in my arms and tell u i love u for the first time to feed you and kiss your hands and to rock u to sleep next to my heart you arent even born and i already know that I LOVE U WITH ALL MY HEART MY PRECIOUS BABY THANK U AND THANK U FOR ALL THE LESSONS U HAVE TAUGHT ME...... i created this poem for my baby because its all true and my feelings are still mixed but i know im gonna have my baby and be the best mother i can be and im gonna start a new life for us soon..my baby isnt even born she\he has taught me soo much and i love with all my heart...thank u for the support and the advice...it really helps and makes me feel good that atleast someone cares...THANK U SOO MUCH....keep in touch |
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I am New to SFV |
Hi!
Please be strong... You are not alone, I know you will go through a lot of struggles, but it will all be worth it, and when you look at your baby's face, everyday you will grow stronger. Being a single parent is hard, especially when so young, but have faith. He or she will bring you more happiness than you could ever imagine. I haven't any friends, and the only family support I have is my Mom, and my children. I don't know what I would do without their support, and could never imagine life without them. Stay positive, and remember children are lifes greatest treasures. Keep smiling, you will be okay... Take care...Rochelle |
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Board Member |
stay strong. everything happens for a reason dear. the only thing your ex is missing out on is the most wonderful thing in the world. one day he may realize this and it probaly will be to late, but let him dwell on that you don't have to worry about him. concentrate on loving yourself and your child. remeber just because you can't give your child everything he wants doesn't mean you are a bad mother, as long as you believe in yourself and do the best you can you will be a wonderful mother.
keep your head up. if you need someone to talk to PM me. |
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Board Member |
It's hard,but I believe you can do it. My ex is acting the same way yours is. Trust me,it's better for you,and the baby, if you just avoid him for awhile. It's hard at first,but as the days go on,it gets a little easier. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about my ex,but I'm also a lot happier and less stressed now that I don't talk to him and listen to his constant "it's all your fault,I'm not responsible..ect" crap.
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"Parent on Board" Parent on Board |
I like your poem hon...it brought tears to my eyes. You're in my thoughts!
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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Pregnant and Alone pregnent and feel helpless
