I recently, January 29th, had an Abortion and would like to fill those in, the ones who have or are considering abortion, on a few things.

POST-ABORTION is not easy. When i had the abortion i felt so relieved, but didnt realize how much it would effect my life. Its almost like a haunting, missing your baby, wondering what he or she would have looked like. Your constantly reminded of your baby by seeing pregnant women and children, it seems as though I never before payed this much attention to children until now. I became obsessed with fertility and had to fight myself from creating a "replacement" baby. I began to hate the people around me who persuaded me to have the abortion, including my friends and family. Even the smallest things can trigger thoughts about your baby, whether good or bad, and i began to over-think every decision i made scared i was going to make the wrong one. Most of my friends have had abortions and were ok with their decisions, i never knew i would of taken it this hard. . . . . I dont feel i regret my decision, i made the best choice for me with the information I HAD AT THE TIME. Nor can i go into the past, only pray to God for strenght and forgiveness.

I desided to see a counselor to help me work through the aftermath of my decision. She, as well as project Rachel (A group that specailizes in Post-Abortion Trama) have been amazing to me, helping me to sort though my feelings and properly go through the grieving process (after all, i did lose someone who was close and precious to me) not to mention the love from God.

If you think that Abortion is the easy answer, please think again. There is nothing easy about knowingly getting rid of your baby. I'm not here to judge anyone, nor make anyone chaneg their mind, just informing soon to be mothers to CAREFULLY EVALUTE your choices, and know that Abortion might seem like the best choice in your life, at the time, but might actually be one of the hardest things youll have to deal with. Take it from me PLEASE. I wish there was a post like this when i was pregnant. . . . So listen carefully. Go seek help and advice. Be strong and prepared. Nothing about the choice your about to make, whether to keep the baby or not, will be easy.

Hello,

I can't say that I have anything to add to your post, as I'm a man and have never gone through what you have experienced.

Thank you for sharing for experience, however. It is something extremely personal and it is certain be meaningful to many of the women who read it.

Thanks,
Bobby

I'm sorry for your pain. Thank you for sharing your story.

thank you for sharing...
I had a miscarriage when I was 19, but I have always thought it was my fault because I wanted it to happen so bad - I wasn't eating, I was exercising all the time, I was willing this baby to go away... and she did.

But I later wrote a poem about it...
just thought I would share.

Broken Dreams, Fairy Castles
Cotton candy in my mouth
Carousel of life – and the ride is not as smooth as I expected.

Floating melodies, a lullaby
Sleep comes gently.
Waking into harsh reality is such agony.

Whispered words, a best friend’s comfort
Holding hands in a daisy field
Carefree childhood, careless innocence - gone forever, in a moment.

Wide-eyed questions, muddy fingers
All is lost, but something gained.
Whispered words build star-lit castles – on the clouds, above the sky, destined to fall down.
Promise of failure.

Cotton candy – here one minute, gone the next
Wind blowing over grassy fields only sways for a moment.
Broken dreams and the mosaic is more beautiful than the dreams were whole

Shardee...
I am sorry to hear your painful story!! I am so glad you shared it. I myself have never had an abortion, but have had some friends that have. I have, however, suffered through THREE MISSCARRIAGES and know all to well that feeling of loss and grief!! It can be so difficult...and I feel that people don't always understand the TRUE and unbearable sense of loss over this little life and how REAL it is!!
You are on the right track with getting counseling...stay with it! I know for me I needed something tangible...I went to a religous store & found an "ivory" statue of an angel holding a baby in her arms & just cried!!
I now have 3 of these on my dresser and I remember each time I see them that my precious babies are in heaven with God & His Angels and someday I'll see them. For me it was a way to make them "real" for me...because they were REAL!! Time make it better it truly does...but you never forget nor should you have to. Forgive yourself too...I am glad you posted so everyone can see it is not an easy, callous , or selfish decession. It is always HEARTWRENCHING!!

quote:

Originally posted by texasgirl~jones:
thank you for sharing...
I had a miscarriage when I was 19, but I have always thought it was my fault because I wanted it to happen so bad - I wasn't eating, I was exercising all the time, I was willing this baby to go away... and she did.

But I later wrote a poem about it...
just thought I would share.

Broken Dreams, Fairy Castles
Cotton candy in my mouth
Carousel of life – and the ride is not as smooth as I expected.

Floating melodies, a lullaby
Sleep comes gently.
Waking into harsh reality is such agony.

Whispered words, a best friend’s comfort
Holding hands in a daisy field
Carefree childhood, careless innocence - gone forever, in a moment.

Wide-eyed questions, muddy fingers
All is lost, but something gained.
Whispered words build star-lit castles – on the clouds, above the sky, destined to fall down.
Promise of failure.

Cotton candy – here one minute, gone the next
Wind blowing over grassy fields only sways for a moment.
Broken dreams and the mosaic is more beautiful than the dreams were whole

BEAUTIFUL POEM JONESY!!!!

In case you don't remember...my story is Here....

Even though I am not a female, I can totally relate. It is a tough tough time, and very trying on the soul. Keep your head up and seek out the counseling that you require. Keep your faith in god and try to move past this bump in your road, but never forget. Always remember that what you did was the best thing you could have done in your current situation and don't allow yourself to dwell on it or beat yourself up over it. Life is a learning process and we must remember each chapter in order to advance to the next.

I am truly sorry that you are having such a hard time, but it sounds like you are doing everything that you can to help yourself. Be strong....You will be in my prayers....

-J

While this it not something I have personally experienced before...I feel for you. My best friend from back home had several abortions back when we were in college. The last time I begged and pleaded with her not to and even told her I would raise the baby for her if that's what I had to do. On the day of the appointment she told me she was going to work and then had to call me later to take her to the emergency room b/c there were complications. I was upset but not nearly as upset as she has been in the years since. She now has a beautiful daughter and a son on the way, but suffered several miscarriages along the way. It's taken several years for her to realize that those miscarriages weren't her punishment for making other choices earlier in life. I think that counseling is a great idea and I applaud you for sharing your story!

Hi Shardee, my name is Chanel when i was 17 i had an abortion , at the time I was so young and stupid that i didnt realize what i was doing I now know that it was the right thing to do at the time and i have no regrets. I now have 4 children and i dont regret any of them. I am glad that you r in counseling i too had to have someone to talk to afterwards, it helps alot. Thank you for posting this and try to forgive yourself, god will. You truly deserve it and time does make it a little better. And