Wow, after two years of being told that I can't have kids, its like BAM. I went from secure and stable to broke and alone...The Dr bills alone are killing me. I never thought I would be thrown into a situation like this. Just when I accepted the fact I get this. I had prepared myself the best I could to accept it if I lost him but I am almost 6 months and he is still there *thank GOD*
I am 20 years old and I had to move out of my parents when I got pregnant. They didn't want to support me and a baby. So I am staying with a friend, I can't stay too long cause they have too many cats. I was used by the father to get over his ex and when I told him I was pregnant he was like . He was ok with it for about a month then he decided that this baby wasn't what he wanted. Despite the fact that he already has an eight year old daughter whom, I know he loves dearly, just not mine.
I go into Rockford Fetal Medicine tomorrow to do some tests. The Dr thinks something may be wrong with the baby, but I get to see the *** of it. I think it is a boy and this way I can prove it. But I don't want to go alone and there is no one there to stand by me or help me through any of this. Everything I have done so far, I have done it by myself. Its a sink of swim situation and I am pretty boyant so far but with everything that is going on, it feels like I am sinking. You would think that parents would stand by you in all things, I don't have that and I really want that. I don't know how to be a mom no matter how many books I read, or how many people I talk to, I am scared that I am going fail. And I can't fail not for the sake of my child. I am just scared out of my mind...

akili, welcome to a great group of people here.
Sorry you are feeling so alone through this, but there are plenty of wonderful people here to help see you through it if you stick around.
And not to worry, I'm sure you'll be a great mom, you're even reading books on the subject and studying up Nah, you'll do just fine.

I can't believe your parents won't help you. That is so sad and I am sorry. Trust me, no one knows how to be a Mom. This is my 4th and I still feel like I don't know what I am doing. You WILL develop a routine, though, and get more comfortable. The anxiety will get better. Do you qualify for Medicaid now that you don't live with your parents? Check into all the state assistance you can. It's not much but better than nothing. Keep your chin up!

You cant fail ! It will come to you . .
You dont need to read books it is a natural thing. . You will be glad in the end that you did do this alone ! I wish that I would have I would be a much stronger person today ! It will all work out . . You will realize when you hold that little bundle of a miracle that you are going to make it and that little angel will look up to you as a HERO ! ! YES it is hard at times but in the end it pays off !

Akili,
I'm so sorry. I know how it feels to be pregnant for the first time and alone. I'm in a similar situation. I've always dreamt to have a baby. And the dayI knew I'm pregnant my husband left me and now we're divorced. My parentts won't support me either financially or emotionally. And I'm staying with a friend too now. But I'm sure that the baby will lighten your life up. And that caring for him/ her will be a very natural thing that will come to us . But I'm not stopping the reading still. Please don't give up. Keep yourself safe for yourself and the baby. And although it doesn't always sound good at such difficult times. But believe me the longest day has an end and everything changes and in such cases they can only change to the better.

Don't feel embarassed to ask for help from friends even if they're not that close what about the friend you're staying with. She can go with you to the doctor sometimes. I know you must be more sensitive now. But that's why people are here, for each other.

On the 5th I found out I am having a boy!!!! I AM SO EXCITED!!! I decided to name him Aiden Mathew. I got some really cute pictures of him. Even one that looks like his thumb is in his mouth... That one is my favorite...

Congrats!!!!!!!!!!!!! I like the name too. Start the album then.

How cool! I'm working on boy #4 - they're great! I'm so happy you are excited!

congrats! I wish you the best of luck! Dont worry, you'll be a great mom!

You should really look into getting free Medical coverage through the state. There are many programs out there and you do not have to pay those doctor's bills. They will cover everything for the baby so you don't have to worry about it. They will even cover procedures that have already been done. Remember, kids don't come with an instruction manual. You learn as you go along. Just accept the fact that mistakes will be made, but you will learn from them. Good luck, I know you'll do fine.