I never felt scared living alone before, but now I am!! I was just browsing through these forums when my chair began to shake! I don't know if it was an earthquake or I just felt dizzy... I live alone in the 16th floor of a new condominium, it suddenly struck me what on earth am I gonna do if the buiding was hit by a strong earthquake or fire and we were asked to evacuate using the stairs. If I weren't 8 months pregnant I would be fine, but the extra 20 pounds I gained has really slowed me down. And what if I go into labor, how on earth am I going to get down the elevator and drive myself to the hospital?? My neighbors are still a stranger to me since they just moved in two weeks ago. I realized I am soooo unprepared. Help! What do I need to prepare? Anyone here who lived alone during their pregnancy?

Dawn Butterfly,

It sounds as if you're getting the mommy worries. Sometimes my perspectives on things changed once I had children and I realized I was responsible for another person. I don't know what it is like being pregnant and alone but I do know what having very young children and by myself. Since I was going thourgh a nasty divorce my "friends" changed and family support disappeared. I had to really force myself to find and meet new friends, keep my chin up, and realize, I may not have the best plan right now, but it's the best one and I can change my mind. I'm usually very independent so asking people for help was very challenging. Train your ears to people asking you about your pregnancy, they may be trying to offer help without prying into your life. Express your concerns with them without going into detail. A genuine caring mother will know how you feel and people tend to offer help if they know you are open to it. Is there an event you can go to meet other people right now like a baby care class or pregnancy class? How about taking over some food for the new neighbors and introduce yourself?

It sounds like you're on your way to being a sweet caring mother because you're already worried about your baby!

thanks ladies, i guess i freaked out the other night because of the earthquake. i'm fine now, but still worried about not knowing what to do when it comes to emergency cases.

tessmit, I think I'm also going through that phase where friends "changed" -- that's why i joined this forum because i can't talk to my friends about my problems because I know they wouldn't be able to relate with me. I haven't heard of pregnancy classes here, just prenatal yoga classes that would cost me an arm and a leg to attend. I thought about bringing food to my neighbors, though they seem kinda snobbish, so I'm still feeling my way. And yes, I think I'd also have more concerns when the baby arrives. Maybe i should think about transfering to another place which is not high-rise -- it may be easier to get out of the house when i need to.

quote:

Originally posted by Kayley's Mommy:
hang in there! I was pregnant and alone, but I had my family and friends to help out. feel free to send a message on myspace.
do you have any baby gear? clothes?

Hi Kayley's mom, I already bought some newborn baby clothes, diapers and blankets that I may need to take with me to the hospital. I'm just kinda worried about emergencies because my family and friends live in another town. Btw, I tried adding you to myspace, but it wont work! I'll just keep trying. =)

Can mom or another family member move in the last month since they live far away?

I remember being restless, uncomfortable, and so tired during the last month of both my pregnancies. I can't imagine driving myself to the hospital when I'm in labor.

I know what you mean about neighbors. There's some I'd rather not meet.

Thanks tessmit! I already talked with my mom, its either she accompanies me here or I spend the last month of my pregnancy at their house. It's actually a relief because I have no idea what to do! Now she gave me a list of all the things I need to pack for the hospital.

And yes, I'm already feeling very uncomfortable now. Each time I turn in bed, I feel as if the weight of the baby is crushing my innards. I just can't wait to deliver.

Hey Dawn. Everything you are feeling is normal. Heck I'm only 25 weeks and have many of the same fears, especially what to do with my daughter. I have created a plan and back-up plan and even a "worst case scenario plan" to put my mind at ease. Making a list of all the things you need is an excellent idea and you may even want to start packing now, or at least have a bag and some of the items out and together. Feeling organized helps so much!!! You are almost done!!

hey misifer, thanks for the advice! Yeah ive been thinking it would be more complicated if I also had other kids to take care of around the house. So will you leave your daughter with a relative in case you go into labor?

As for me, I already have packed a bag for my hospital needs (baby clothes, blanket, diapers and my own clothes). I just hope I go into labor during the day, because it'll be hard to catch a ride to the hospital if I feel labor pains during the night. And I'm afraid the doctor might be asleep by that time if I try to contact her.

I lived with my parents for my first, but was alone and an hour away from everyone for my second. I got several trial runs on the way to delivery...as my son put me into premature labor at 20 weeks and continued to try to come out every time I was up for more than 2 hours.

My mother was able to get through the hours drive and care for me every time. Not to mention I ended up scheduling induction due to the pain I was having. I lived on the third floor with no elevator and was on bed rest from 20 wks on. Family came once a week with groceries and to take the trash. The daycare picked my 3 year old daughter up and brought her home.

Even in the worst of situations, God will provide and care for you.

I like the advice from others...if you have so many floors in the bldg there must be another mother or two to get to know. Also ask people at your doctor appts who are in the waiting room...you never know what resources there are. OH..it may be different there, but most pregnancy/pre-delivery classes are held at the hospital. Ask your doctor.

Thanks Blindsky, I needed that assurance. Wow, I can't imagine being placed on bedrest even if I were not alone in my pregnancy. I just have to go out and meet up with people so I will not be depressed. Anyway, I think I can manage now, I'm just getting a little anxious. But you girls are right, I really need to draw up a plan and enlist people who could help out. Thanks for all the advice ladies!

i know what you mean, i don't know the people i live around either and i have a different work schedule than my friends. i just take it one day at a time, hey before you know it you'll have a new baby!

Thanks Amber! I can see you're new here. Welcome! Hope to see you around.

Most of the time the baby will come when you are most comfortable. I work about 1.5 hours away from where I live so it was a huge fear of mine that I'd go into labor at work and would never make it back home. Of course Lacey waited for a Saturday to start the process and was born on Sunday so it worked out just fine. I'm sure there are babies that come at the worst possible moment but there will always be someone to help or at least call for help for you!

I moved closer to my family shortly after I found out I was pregnant this time since I needed all the support I could get. So yes, my family will come pick up Lacey when I go into labor and she will stay with them until I get home from the hospital. I have a step-sister that lives in the same apartment complex as me (she moved her right after I did) and my parents live less than 10 minutes away and I have a couple other family members less than 20 minutes away so we should be ok!!

It will all work out, I promise!! And if your Dr. isn't available there is always one on call that will be there for you!!

thanks misifer! now that kinda put my mind at ease. I'm seeing my doctor weekly now, i guess i just have to discuss with her my concerns. my mom also volunteered to be on-call just in case i experience any signs that im going into labor, she lives a town away from me, but it'll only take her 15 minutes to get here when there's no traffic. thanks everyone!

Dawn,,...glad to hear your mom is 15 minutes away...that solves the problem and I am sure she is very excited too.