Hi all. I currently have a 4 year old daughter from my previous marriage, he left me when my daughter was 2. A couple years later I found someone I thought was the man of my dreams. He has a son about the same age as my daughter. We dated for just over a year and then he broke up with me. He still continued to come over giving me some sort of false hope. Well now I am 5 weeks pregnant and he wants nothing to do with me or this pregnancy. He says he needs to work on himself and doesn't want to be involved. He wants me to get an abortion, but I don't think I could ever do that. Having a child already has taught me that giving birth is a miracle of life. I just feel so alone right now and I need someone to talk to...thanks

quote:

Originally posted by Tamarita28:
[qb]Hi all. I currently have a 4 year old daughter from my previous marriage, he left me when my daughter was 2. A couple years later I found someone I thought was the man of my dreams. He has a son about the same age as my daughter. We dated for just over a year and then he broke up with me. He still continued to come over giving me some sort of false hope. Well now I am 5 weeks pregnant and he wants nothing to do with me or this pregnancy. He says he needs to work on himself and doesn't want to be involved. He wants me to get an abortion, but I don't think I could ever do that. Having a child already has taught me that giving birth is a miracle of life. I just feel so alone right now and I need someone to talk to...thanks [/qb]

Hello Tamarita,
I have three children twins a boy & girl age 12 yrs and a 6 yr.old girl. I wouldn't let him come back into my life if I was you especially since he wants you to have a abortion. He has major issues with himself so someone like that you don't need they will only bring you down in life. If he does try and contact you tell him you and your child doesn't need him and to move on with his life. Take care things will turn around for you.

Thanks I sure hope things turn out for the best. I'm doing great being by myself with one child, I'm just worried about having 2 and doing it all by myself. Guess I will just have to have hope and determination that's all.

Forget him! You don't need him! You've already done it by yourself once, you can continue to drive on. I'm alone and pregnant just like you. My EX is doing the same crap. Says he doesn't want to be a part of it then he says he does. He calls me, visits and even invites me over to his place all the time. But when we're together he doesn't want to talk about the baby because it bothers him. As of now I'm threw with all the nonsense. I've been trying to be his friend for months and it's getting me nowhere fast. I'll be five months on Friday and for the most part I've done it all by myself. I understand what your going threw. I have faith that you can do this all on your own. You don't need a man to make you stronger. And the fact that this man even said abortion makes me sick. How could anybody want to murder there own child. That's just disgusting!

I know this is one of the hardest things I have had to do. With my previous pregnancy i had someone there for me, now it's just me. I have friends telling me what they feel I should do because they said they have had an abortion before and it's not that big of a deal....to me it is. I have had a child before and I know how special this event is. I need to stop listening to what everyone else around me thinks and do what I feel is right.

Keep the baby who knows it maybe the only thing good you get out of that aful relationship. Life is always better than death! I am sorry that you have to do this alone but really you do not this site is full of mothers and fathers in your situation!!! We are all here to help you thouhg all... Together we can do anything, nothing alone!!!
If you wanna talk PM me anytime
AManda

Sweetie, you can get through this, I know you can. I am currently 8 months pregnant and have been through the entire pregancy without my ex. He wants me to give the baby up for adoption, but there is no way I will do that. He will squirm and make a face at the mention of the word baby or when he sees me as I have gotten bigger it just freaks him out. It has been hard, but I have survived, and this is my first child. I admire and applaud you for your decision in keeping the baby. You and the rest of the women here definitely make me proud that I am going to be a single mom!

Aww congrats on your pregnancy. Do you know what you are having? I thought about adoption too, but you get too emotionally connected with the child that it would be way too hard. Hang in there okay and make sure and tell me when you have that little one okay!

Don't worry about having a second child and whether you will cope.....I went through that thought process when I fell pregnant with my second child, my son was already 12 when I ralised I was about to embark on another unplanned pregnancy...I can laugh at the worrys now and the stresses, yes I had to downsize and sell up, move to a less desirable house (but bigger)my career nose dived and swallowed some bitter pills, but you know what it was recoverable, my daughter is 5 now and I restructured a better career in the end, love my new home and life and cetainly would not be with out her know, she was a gift, I would never have planned a second child in such cercumstances but it was worth it all and my life is 10 times richer than it would have become without her, and my son loves her sister, having a sibling has enriched his life. You can't stop yourself worrying about your future, but believe me if you are committed to keeping you baby for whatever reasons (abortion is only an option to those that want it)trust in yourelf and your future and watch as it unfolds.....congratulations on your pregnancy, take a deep breath and step into your future.

Good luck with your decisions

Thanks hon...I am having a boy and I just couldn't be happier! Now there will be a boy to carry on our family name because there is no way in this lifetime that my ex's last name will be the one chosen...LOL. I'll keep you updated...at this point tho(34wks) i wish this little one would just show his face to the world!

quote:

Originally posted by Tamarita28:
[qb]Hi all. I currently have a 4 year old daughter from my previous marriage, he left me when my daughter was 2. A couple years later I found someone I thought was the man of my dreams. He has a son about the same age as my daughter. We dated for just over a year and then he broke up with me. He still continued to come over giving me some sort of false hope. Well now I am 5 weeks pregnant and he wants nothing to do with me or this pregnancy. He says he needs to work on himself and doesn't want to be involved. He wants me to get an abortion, but I don't think I could ever do that. Having a child already has taught me that giving birth is a miracle of life. I just feel so alone right now and I need someone to talk to...thanks [/qb]

Honey I am in the sam eboat as you. My daughter is one and I am currantly 9 months and waiting to drop. He left me and like a dummy I chased him down for a while until finally last week I gave up. He found another girl and they say they are in love. Men who run out on their own seeds arent worth the air you breath, Be lucky he is showing you his true colors now and not when you are really big and alone like I am now. He is no good and you don't need him at all, especially since he said abortion. Keep your head up and enjoy every day of this pregnancy. I am now and it feels great. I cant wait to have this baby and watch my little miracle grow.

Thanks, thank god I haven't tried chasing him it's not worth it. He keeps saying call him when I make up my decision like I am going to change my mind or something....so whatever, I haven't talked to him in over a week. I don't plan on calling him either, he can call me. I know he has someone else and that's fine. He hurt me so bad I don't think I could ever go back to him even if he wanted to....

Call him when you make your decision?? LOL, sometimes I swear men can be morons. (Like I should really be surprised?) I, like you refuse to chase after my ex in any way. If he can't be man enough to be around, then why should I waste my time going after him when I could be concentrating on my baby?

How are you doing? I know you are due very soon My ex is the most confused guy on the face of this earth, I so don't understand him and don't care to. He still calls every once in awhile, now he says he respects whatever decision I make he just keeps saying you know what my decision is. Uggh men I tell ya....It's hard going through this without my babies dad but I will get through this....HAPPY TURKEY DAY EVERYONE!

Girl, your ex and my ex should get together and form a club....the "I respect your decision, but you still know what mine is and where I stand" club. LOL Men, I tell ya! Thing is, you can't live with them and you can't live without them! (Obviously if we could, we wouldn't be where we are today!! Heck, gotta joke about it!)

Yes I am due very soon....my dr told me today that within a week of my last appt in which I was 1cm dialated, I am now 2cm dialated and 50% effaced. Very cool indeed...

Happy Gobble Gobble Day!!!!!