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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Pregnant and Alone Scared, alone, and in need of friends|
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I am New to SFV |
I am 20 years old and I am 5 monthes pregnant with my first child. The father and I had been together for nine monthes when I broke it off. I wanted to move back in with our parents so that we could save money and get a nicer place than the dump we where living in. He threw a fit cause he couldn't be alone. He said either stay there with him or leave and loose him....ummm I left! But then I regreted it, I told him to just give me time to find a job and stuff and he tryed many times to get me back. But I just told him a little while longer. So he went and found someone else. A 17 year old drug adict. I was really mad and hurt, I was confused as to why he moved on and didn't give me time. He said that he still wanted me and that if I wanted him that he would leave her for me. Than he disapears and says he would rather be with her cause she is nice. Uh hello, I am having your baby! But anyways he keeps saying that he will be there for me but he hasn't been, he goes to my doctors app. but other than that he could care less.
I wish that I would have done things different. I am not jelous in any way of the new girl that he's with I am just hurt in so many ways. Any advice on how to move on and be strong? |
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"Mod Member on Board" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
You may be having his baby but you don't have his heart. And a baby should not be the sole reason for being with someone. How are you going to move on? I don't know. You just will. And the rewards in the next year will outwiegh the heartache that is coming. Can't lie to you. It will be tough but you will find you are tougher. That's what motherhood is. Ask any of the ladies around here. They can't tell where it comes from but some juggle parenthood with full-time work and throw in some classes here and there to keep busy. Then church functions and school functions too. All alone for the most part. I fear and respect them. They are a force.
And now you're one of them. |
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I am New to SFV |
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I am New to SFV |
I've been in your situation twice now hon, trust me, if YOU want this baby, thats all that will matter once it comes along. I understand that you're not jealous of the other "girl" (although I still am sometimes) but you just have to stay strong enough to do this on your own if he does bail. I'm not good w/forums, so email me if you want. I can prolly give an excellent insight as to what lies ahead and what to be prepared for. I feel for you. I've been there. But my kids are the best thing to ever happen to me. I get lonely, but ALWAYS have someone to snuggle w/when I'm down.
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"Mod Member on Board" At A loss for Words - NOT! |
Not good with forums? huh?
You did just fine Juls. Welcome to both of you. |
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On the Board |
Welcome to SVU you two.
Wow, have I come a way since finding this site. I'm not on all the time, and should post more often. However, Single_Soontobemom, let me tell you, you are in the right place. I am where you are. Right now. I am 20 weeks and just found out I am having a boy (smile). Long story short (you can read my other posts if you want more on my sit) my ex sucks too. But you know what? You are going through all this now, but just think of the fantastic prize you are going to get at the end of this. Thats how I kept my sanity (and pride and class.) I could have been ghetto and busted him with his other women, or I could have thrown his stuff out of our place instead of gently placing it  but the fact of the matter is, he is the one that will always let himself down. I feel sorry for my son (and guilty too) that he won't have his bio daddy to be a real father. I'm not going to be delusional and chase him down and make him something he is not. That wastes my time and time with my future love of my life. I think you have the right idea about this whole thing. I think you really know what you have to keep doing. We can't tell you what to do but we can be there for you. You came to the right place and I can't say that enough. You'll be fine, and so will your little one, because you are already a good mommy. A resourceful one who found some support and a caring one who doesn't want to raise her child in an unhealthy environment with drugs and deciet. Pat your tummy and tell me all about your pregnancy cause I am just about the same spot as you are. I'm due September 20th. You? Private Message me! |
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"Parent on Board" Parent on Board |
hehe...I have to laugh at you, jaysdad...you fear and respect us, eh?
gave me a giggle. As for soon_2bemom... Don't think that if you are having a baby you need a man. I tried soooo hard to make it work with a man who didn't want to be there, that seven years (4 years of marriage) went down the crapper. The quality of my sons life wasn't what it should have been, because he had a dad that could never put him first..and then when we had two...well... Anyway, you can do it if you put your mind to it, and your heart into it... :huggies: fear is a natural emotion, but love can conquer all (my spelling isn't working today) |
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Board Member |
Right on!  Stay positive :sweetheart: |
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I am New to SFV |
Thanks everyone for your support. I really appriciate it.
I tried to get a hold of him last week cause my vehicle was going in the shop for a couple days and I wanted to go to our big town which is an hour away so I asked him if he wanted to go! He never even hesitated he said yes. I told him he did not have to but he said no problem he would take me. So I tryed and tryed for the next couple of days to get a hold of him so we could go and he blew me off. He never showed up to get me. Cause he was with his girlfiend! Why is it so hard for him to even so much as call really quick and say sorry something came up? I swear he's stupid! So I wrote him a long nasty letter telling him I am tired of him lying to me and only being there for the doctor app. he can't even call to check on me, so I told him a lot of stuff and pretty much told him to stay away until he decides to be a father, hevent heard anything out of him yet. I know I probobly expect to much out of him, but I just wish that he cared enough to call and check on me to make sure I was doing ok, so he would know that his baby is ok. Is that to much to ask or am I being selfish? |
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Lively & Zealous Parent |
I am in a similiar situation except this isn't my first it's my third. I found out that my husband had been cheating on me and I left with my two boys. I have been a stay at home mom my whole life (i'm only 22) and didn't know what I wanted to do. Well 3 weeks later I found out that I was pregnant with number 3 and I was TERRIFIED!! His response was "get rid of it." So i was totally alone. I am now 5 months along and doing better. It's the hardest thing I have ever done, but it does get better!! Don't loose hope!
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"Sigh. I love this place." Lively & Zealous Parent |
Ya know, it breaks my heart to hear of these situations. My 2nd pregnancy was almost like that, except the dad and I were together, but not living together. When I was in labor in the hospital, it took us 2 hours to track him down and my labor was only 4 1/2 hours! He was there for the last 2 (very painful) hours. In the time that we were together, he hurt me deeply. I spent 3 1/2 years with him for what?? A stronger sense of self. A more empowered me. And whenever a sucky situation strikes, I tell myself... "Mind over Matter". I can do it if I put my all into it. And I have done alot since him. I'm still single, but that's because I know what I don't want in a man. And I won't settle for someone that has those qualities. Ok, so I'm getting off topic, but there is a point. You don't need him, or the stress he is causing you. Live your life for you and your baby. Soon, you won't have the time or the interest in dealing with him or his juvenile ways. Make him responsible for his actions though (child support) if you choose, but don't get lost on that wannabe man... get lost on your little one. They are way more rewarding that anyone else could ever hope to be. Good luck, and welcome.
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I am New to SFV |
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I am New to SFV |
I kind of understand what your feeling. I am so sorry because it hurts sooooo much and you feel alone and deserted. It just simply not fair that a man can walk out with no emotions or regret. Why? How? I ask myself that all the time. Hang in there. He probably would of turned out to be an abuser. Once involved with that after years of emotional, mental and physical abuse it is hard to live on. You ask your self every day "what could I have done to make it better" when in real it was never you but him.
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Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online Single Parent Forums Pregnant and Alone Scared, alone, and in need of friends
