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Gracie, what a beautiful name for a baby.. I am 7 weeks along in my pregnancy and my boyfriend (or should I say ex) told me to stay out of his life, he is very selfish and is one who thinsk all should be about him. I know your frustration. I am 21, and i live at home... and my mother is confused, she thinks i might still have an abortion, i told her it isn't an option, but for some reason she is still hopeful. This is very hard to adjust to, being alone suddenly after 2 years of dating him, and im pregnant. I don't understand what makes a man so selfish as to decide he wants nothing to do with his child. I've come ot accept it, and thought that my baby would be better off. I have a good support group at work, my friends, a few of them haivng had babies young. But I still feel sad and lonely, like there is nothing i can do. So, Graciesmom19, I think were on the same page.
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| Posts: 1 | Location: Coral Springs, FL | Registered: 18 June 2005 |  |
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Board Member
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quote: Originally posted by RayMegan:
[qb] Gracie, what a beautiful name for a baby.. I am 7 weeks along in my pregnancy and my boyfriend (or should I say ex) told me to stay out of his life, he is very selfish and is one who thinsk all should be about him. I know your frustration. I am 21, and i live at home... and my mother is confused, she thinks i might still have an abortion, i told her it isn't an option, but for some reason she is still hopeful. This is very hard to adjust to, being alone suddenly after 2 years of dating him, and im pregnant. I don't understand what makes a man so selfish as to decide he wants nothing to do with his child. I've come ot accept it, and thought that my baby would be better off. I have a good support group at work, my friends, a few of them haivng had babies young. But I still feel sad and lonely, like there is nothing i can do. So, Graciesmom19, I think were on the same page. [/qb]
Hey Ray, I know how hard this is on you. Just think about you and your baby right now. Mine is not even here yet, but everyday that goes by, I love her even more. It's good to hear that you have a support group though, I don't know what I would do without mine. I dont know how a man could just tell you to stay out of his life, that is so selfish and childish, he did this too, and it is a beautiful creation. My ex is coming around more and more all the time, I don't know your situation completely, but maybe he's just really confused. I know that I could do this on my own, but everytime I am around him, I feel better more at ease. I hope that your ex will come around eventually. It took mine awhile b/c its just been the last few weeks and I am almost 23 weeks. Just don't stress yourself out and do what you have to do to get your life ready for you and your baby. Good luck and keep in touch! |
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| Posts: 35 | Location: lansing michigan | Registered: 13 June 2005 | |
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Wow, I feel like I'm reliving my pregnancy from reading these! I was 21 when I was pregnant and the father and I weren't together, being that he choose not to quite drinking so I told him to leave. My daughter is now 2 years and 4 months old. He came around while she was young, I suppose because its fun to say that you have a brand new little baby and have people awe over her. However throughout the 2 years his visiting diminished, he never bought her anything (and thats not an exaggeration), no child support, and now hes been in CA since April, selling perfume on the streets for cash and called twice since hes been there (real catch eh?) The best thing that I've ever relized throughout all of this, is that no matter how much he is or isn't in her life, I'm the one that gets to wake up to her wonderful smile in the mornings with her cuddling into my lap telling me "love you mama". Sometimes I think being a single parent is easier in the way that you don't fight with someone else on how your child should be raised or disciplined, all those decisions are your own! Nothing in the world is better than being a mom, just remember that, and anytime that you start to get stressed, just ask or give your child a hug, then it all comes back to you!
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| Posts: 14 | Location: Minnesota | Registered: 07 February 2005 | |
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Board Member
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quote: Originally posted by tiffnbaby:
[qb] I know just what you are talking about. I am 22 weeks pregnant and going about this on my own. The father has a 4 year old son from a previous marriage that he doesn't even see anymore. All he seems to care care about is his alcohol and nothing else. He is almost 27 and no where near being a grown up. He was a good father while he was around his son, but that didn't last long. It has been the hardest part of my life so far to be pregnant and alone. I cry all the time and feel myself feeling depressed. Sometimes the fathers don't really see what is in front of their face. All I know is that my son is due in December and he will be the best thing that has ever happened to me. I hope that the father of your child and mine will see what is really important in life and do the right thing. Just be strong on your own and remember that you will always have that baby and never be lonely anymore. No one wants to raise their child without a father but sometimes it just might be the best thing. I hope everything works out for you. Take care [/qb]
Hi tiff, My name is Laura and I am 22 weeks pregnant too. I bet we have very close due dates. I, like all the other girls in this post, am 21 with a deadbeat ex. He has a daughter from a previous relationship, who he preteneded to be this great dad too when I first met him. It didn't take long to see those two used their kid as a pawn to hurt each other. Never once did they put that baby first. He is an abusive, controlling, alcoholic. He has done nothing but threaten me throughout my pregnancy and I got sick of it. So i told him to stay out of our lives. His daughter has serious emotional issues no 2 year old should have, because her mother was on drugs and her father is an alcoholic and they have nothing better to do than beat each other up and scream and fight constantly around her. Not my baby. I told him as far as I was concerned he wasn't the father, when he found out when the baby was born and what his name was, he could file for a DNA test if he felt so inclined. He hasn't done nothing court wise for his daughter it's all been his ex so I'm not to worried. Not to mention without his name on the birth certificate he doesn't have to pay me child support and he seems rather appealed by that idea. I hated the idea of shutting him out at first I didn't think ti was fair. But the more he kept threatening me I realized My son will be better off. There are too many positive people in his life, I don't need somone who is "supposed" to care about him more than anything bringing him down. I hope you get whats best for you and your son. I guess i hope that for me too. |
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| Posts: 48 | Location: Virginia | Registered: 09 July 2005 | |
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quote: Originally posted by xjennix:
[qb] I know exactly how you feel i am 20 and pregnant and completly alone. The father of the child broke up with me 3 days ago and said that he didnt love me anymore and that i bascially do his head in and he doesnt want to ever have a child with me, but as i wont have an abortion he has to. i am so scared to do this on my own i dont know the first thing about pregnancy or baby's. he said that hed support me through it all but to do that he needs to talk to me which he hasnt done since we broke up. i have never felt so down and i carnt stop crying and i dont want to do anything but stay in bed. i hope someone can help me 2 as i really need to talk to someone who knows what im going through. [/qb]
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| Posts: 4 | Location: kentucky | Registered: 14 January 2006 | |
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quote: Originally posted by graciesmom19:
[qb] Hey everyone,
I hope I can find some people with advice or just to talk to.. I have been going through my whole pregnancy alone(I have a great family, the father just isn't involved) I am 22 weeks right now and having a girl, I can't wait until she's here! I am just very confused right now. The father really freaked out when I first told him because we are not together. He wanted me to have an abortion but that was not an option for me...Just a couple weeks ago, he asked me to come talk to him(the day I found out I was having a girl) he apologized for acting so selfish and childish in the beginning and told me he was excited to have a daughter. He was rubbing my belly and talking to her as if everything was going to be ok... It was the first time through all of this i felt like everything was going to be ok. From this wouldn't you think you would be talking to someone on a more regular basis? I have only talked to him twice since then and not seen him at all. He does have a son who is five years old and he is very close with him and a great father, he spends all of his spare time with him..He works 2 pm to 12am, so it doesn't leave much time for me and my baby. Am I just being stupid thinking he will come around and be a father to Gracie? I know I can do this on my own, but I know he is a good father and I want my daughter to know her father......... [/qb]
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| Posts: 4 | Location: Sales Representative | Registered: 27 March 2006 | |
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