Hello to all!
i just signed up a few minutes ago and i am going to be brief as i possible with this....

i am a 24 (almost 25)year old single mother of a 6 yr old girl who is from a past "very abusive" relationship.. Needless to say we have nothing to do with him, nor will we ever.. She knows nothing about him and that is how i plan on keeping it..
Now, im about 5 weeks pregnant with my live in boyfriend of 2 years. But here is where it gets tricky....
One day he is telling me we should get married for all of these reasons, and then the next day i catch him on the phone with his friends back home in chicago talking about how he could care less about our relationship he is just going to take care of the child, and after the birth when he gets orders, if i want to come with i better pay for my own ticket and etc, etc...
See he is a planner, and this child doesnt fit into his plan at this time....He is all aboout his career and traveling (he is air force). He now is telling me i need to be with someone else, because we are on two different levels right now... and we basiclly have been prolonging the inevitable for the past 2 years.......
Now here is another catch.... I have considered an abortion, but ive been dealt a bad deck of cards so far in my life and i wont put myself through all that pain again. or im hoping i dont have to do taht again.. But if i decide to keep this baby what am i going to face?
Right now with my 6 yr old i dont have to worry about custody issues and things like that, or another female playing mommy to my child.. (no offence)With him, will he be vendictive and try to make my life even harder than it will just naturally be being a single mother of two?
Or do i try to get him to work things out with me.........
Im very stressed, someone just talk to me please, how can one of the most happiest moments of your life, be also one of the worst..
And the thing is im a "good girl", when do i get to be happy....

Hello alisha80 and welcome on the forum !
Tough !
The decision about abortion is really really hard, and you seem to have decided anyways, for reasons you only know.
This is when life seems to be like a (bad) movie, isn't it ?

Alisha80, welcome to SFV. There are tons of great people here and they will have great advice for you. I have never been where you are, so I can't possibly understand what you are going through. I knew that I was having my son when I found out I was pregnant, but I have friends that have struggled w/the issues of abortion or adoption.

One thing I will say is don't try to beg him to stay w/you because of the baby. If he stays out of obligations to the baby, he will end up resenting you and it won't be a happy home. I wouldn't worry so much about someone else trying to play mommy right now. That is a long way off. Focus on what is best for you and your children. You will make the right decisions.

Good luck, and I hope you stick around the board.

Thank you for posting....
i got down to the root of our problem today.. (i think anyway)
He doesnt want to end up like his parents.and he doesnt want his child to end up like him... Meaning coming from a divorced home or having all the issues of not knowing if your coming or going...Hes deadly afraid of being a "failure", partly because we are not married yet, and because he is gone alot being in the military...
im just boggled by the decision.......

Wellll, what do YOU want? Do you want to marry him? Most military personal have access to free pre-marital counciling..

i would really like to work on us.. But he feels that we would be rushing against an 8 month clock so whats the point.....
I think he just feels that abortion is the only answer.. The way i feel is this:
If he really loves me like he claims, including my daughter, than why is he taking all this time worrying and creating all this negativity instead of working on it..? ITs drivin me nuts! LOL
He also insists that he wont see a "shrink" -so is the question really simple as am i stupid and thinking that there is hope for anything?