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I am New to SFV |
Hello. I am a 27 year old professional. I just found out over the weekend that I am pregnant. Over Christmas while visiting my parents, I slept with one of my
 good friends. We have been friends for years and obviously curiousity got the best of us and now look! Well, we do not live in the same state, do not intend on being together, in fact he is currently seeing some one. Anyway, I am scared to death. I don't know what to do. I am financially unstable although I have a good job, this is not the first time I have been pregnant and I really,really do not want to make that same mistake again. The abortion was the most horrific experience that I have ever gone through and I vowed never to do it again. I really just can't even imagine putting myself through that torture again. SO! I am torn....torn between becoming a single parent, I really don't think I am ready, the father is not being supportive at all, he is just dumbfounded all of the time. When I think about becoming a mother, half of me would LOVE to have this baby, the other half is so frightened. Any good advice would be much appreciated here. Thank you. |
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"Parent on Board" Active Board Parent |
I can't tell you what to do, but just want to give you a bit of support. Whatever decision you make will have to be what you feel in your heart. I don't know that a lot of people are ready to be parents particularly a single one, it is not easy but it is infinitely rewarding. Sorry I am not a lot of help. I hope you can come to some decision that is right for you and take your time - this is a big decision.. Take good care of yourself
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"I want back in the closet" Lively & Zealous Parent |
You have come to the right place.
This is a tough one. I myself could never have gone through with an abortion. Like you said, I think it would be one of the most horrific experiences I would ever have. Some people will always look at things differently than you, I am sure at the time when I was pregnant, some people thought I was being selfish and/or stupid for having and keep my son. For me the right choice was to keep my son. Try looking down the road, what will it be like in 5, 10 years with and without this child? Being a single parent is hard, but at times its also very rewarding. On another note, have you thought about adoption? Eve |
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"Board Blazen Parent" Lively & Zealous Parent |
I think you need to do what feel right to you. I can almost sense from your posting that you'd like to keep it but have doubts. Well, my only advice is to have a look around the board and read some of the stories. There are 9000 people who've been down the single-parent road and we're almost okay!
 Just kidding! I think if you have a look around you can see that a single parent family can be just as full of love and fun as a two-parent family. There are plenty of resources available to help you with everything imaginable, from clothes for the baby, to daycare and preschools. You don't have to be afraid to be a single parent. |
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Board Member |
The first time I got pregnant I was 23 and not with the father..he was married...we had dated when they were separated and he said he was getting a divorce...my parents were afraid I would be unable to care for a kid..I had been pretty unstable and wild..they sent me money for an abortion..I made 2 appointments to have it...finally, I made up my mind to keep my baby...I returned home had my kid with my dad heloping me...my dad died the next year and it was the best time I ever spent with him...also, that kid is 16 years old today and the BEST thing I have going for me in my life. The BEST...the daddy didn't work out...we got married and divorce...I had a nother kid...but my oldest son...he is the light of my life...I have a good job..a teacher..I still have lots of family and friends...but I can't imagine what my life would be like without him in it...please don't do it...your baby will be your heart forever...even if you don't know it...it is your best friend...and yes it will be hard...but not as hard as life without him/her...life isn't going to be easy anyway...that baby is your family..you just haven't met them yet..
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Learning to Surf The Board |
Michelle I'm going to say "CONGRATS". Life is hard and you roll with the punches. When my son was born he put a smile on my face that is still there after 17 years. You could be having the worst day at work and the bills are piled up and you pick that little one up and they put their arms around your neck -- your heart melts! Kids fill a void that NO ONE ELSE EVERY WILL! I promise....sassyyaya
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Board Member |
I would like to start off by saying in my opinion I don't think anyone is truly ready to have a child or even take care of them by themselves I am in this very situation I to am not ready for any of these things nor am I truly financially stable but I know that when I found out I was expecting I never knew I could truly love someone so much with never laying eyes on them I don't expect help from the father or my child if he does help it will be a suprise my advice to you is this:
Give all your love then the rest will fall into place. Congrats on your new adventure the road will have its bumps and road blocks but you can do it have faith in yourself |
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