I've been reading some of these posts and am also surprised how many women are in this position with me. I am 11 weeks along and pissed of as hell, but I don't let it consume me. I can't, because when I first found out I was pregnant I did. The father of the baby and I were ex's sleeping together in what I thought was a monogomous sexual relationship. We talked about how we were the only ones in this. And I even thought we had a great friendship to go right along with it.... not so, not even close. Well, our method of birth control failed, and here I am. He pretended to care until I was 8 weeks. Told me he'd go to my appointmets with me, if it was a girl he said he wanted to name her after his mother, blah blah blah... I am pissed because i was stupid. So stupid that I actually believed him.
So now, as things stand, I'm by myself. But I crave emotional support and cuddling and that kind of support that only the father could give. And it's no where to be found. But I try to be positive. And strong. I don't want him around when he is sleeping with other women. I don't want to be that girl on the side if he's got another girlfriend. I don't and WON'T chase after him trying to make him into something he is not. I don't think he'll be any kind of father I want around the little life I already love.
I already had a sonogram to see how far along I was exactly, and I heard the little heartbeat of my baby. AMAZING. Suddenly I felt stronger. So now I am addicted to making my life better so I can make my baby's life better.
And he actually thinks that he can leave me alone and not give a rats behind about me or this baby during my pregnancy, and them come around after I give birth to get joint physical custody??? Guy is crazy. Already been in jail for back child support once. It's a shame though. Because it isn't that easy because I don't hate him.
If anyone is in a situation similar to mine or has been in the past, I do need support to keep being strong. I think that forums like this are great. POWER IN NUMBERS! emilyitis930@hotmail.com

quote:

Originally posted by emilyandbaby:
[qb] So now I am addicted to making my life better so I can make my baby's life better.
[/qb]

You have said exactly what you need to do. Hes going to do what he wants to do. I would not worry about him or think about him. Take this time and enjoy your pregnancy.

Also :welcome:

Hey, welcome to the site.

Its hard to say not to worry about him. You do worry about him because he is the father/sperm donor to your child (however you look at it) and because you want the best for your child you worry if he can provide that or will want to. As far as you thinking he would want to come back once you have the child and get partial physical custody, you have sometime to think about that because you are still early in your pregnancy. My BD (baby daddy) wasn't around during my pregnancy and he still isnt around now. He calls me but he has never seen his daughter and doesnt know her name, he doesn't even ask about her. So, I know that she is not important to him and therefore I am in the process of getting full custody (legal and physical). You have already made the steps to better your life and your baby and you are thinking along the right path. Stay on that path and you will be fine. God Bless!!!!!!!!!

Thank you to you both...
J3pt44~ I have read some of your postings concerning this topic and I am proud of you girl. I don't know where your strength comes from; God, your family, or just some natural motherly thing, but you have strength. Therefor it gives me strength. Thank you for sharing your story.
Your baby is gorgeous... that smile!!! What is her name by the way. If he doesn't want to know, I do.

Adding to my story... how in the world do I get over this bitterness that I feel towards men in general or happy couples, especially pregnant happy couples? I am not normally a bitter person and am relatively rational, however, I can't help but want to beat me exes head into the ground, let the girls he's fooling around with know who they are laying down with, etc.
I was raised to have class and tact, also to be objective in my opinions, but ***k him.
I'm glad that I have made the decision to get him outta my life, but I can't help wanting to call him and yell at him.
I know I probably won't, but this is not fair, and I hate when things are not fair.
Goodness, I sound like a spoiled brat, but I feel after all I have done for him financially, emotionally, mentally, he at least owes me... what am I saying??? See, this isn't me. I'm not the "Why me?" type. I made my bed and I am doing a great job lying in it, but I feel that it just shouldn't be that easy for that guy.
He told me (ladies, you will LAUGH!!!) that the more I hate him when I'm pregnant, the more the baby will look just like him. Ridiculous. LOL. I actually was like, oh my, what if it does, I'll have to look at him everyday. Then I got smart and snorted at myself (I can be so silly). So what if that baby is his mini-me? That baby isn't that guy. Jokes on him. I love my tummy more than I ever loved him.
Sorry so long winded!

Hey Emily,

Girl, thank you for the compliments. But believe me I have my weak times. God will take the best features from both of ya'll to make a beautiful baby. I am sure when you look at your baby you will think more about how beautiful your baby is rather than how much you hate him. Girl, that bitterness will pass. You are most bitter during your pregnancy. That's how I was, but now all I can think about is my daughter, her name is Cierra Marie. When I look at other couples i think that is nice, maybe someday I will get blessed to have a husband and more children because I know I am deserving of someones love and someone is deserving of my love. But it is not so much about whether you will find someone as it is if that someone is worth your child's time.

You don't sound like a spoiled brat. You sound like someone who is concerned with the future of your child and someone who is hurt. The pain and hurting will pass to, it will definetly take some time but it will get better.

You can't imagine the joy you will feel when you have your child. Just think so you will be having tears of love when you watch your child sleeping or smiling at you. No longer will those tears be full of hurt, you will be crying cuz you are so overwhelmed with joy. Take care of yourself. and I am always here to talk and share crazy experiences about Exs.

Emily, I agree with J3pt44, you don't sound spoiled at all. I have so many of the same feelings about my ex. It has gotten alot easier to let go of the anger towards him, but it still creeps up every time I talk to him.

You sound super strong yourself, and it sounds like you're keeping your sense of humor-which is so key!

You made me smile when you said "I love my tummy more than I ever loved him." because that sums it up for me too!

Emily,

I agree with J3pt44 and Nisse. You don't sound spoiled at all. You sound like a soon to be mother. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and my BD left me soon after finding out I was pregnant. I was HOT. But you are on the right track. Love that baby with all you have. My pregnancy is flying by so fast that I wish I hadn't spent the first few months hating him. Yeah, when his mom calls, or on emotional days, it's still hard. But it gets easier. Vent it out girl, that's what all of us are here for. BTW.... :welcome:

thanks guys, i think i am addicted to this site. it's really a relief (and a tragedy at the same time) that so many women go through what i am going through. i don't feel as alone. i would like to also find some sort of maternal support group in my area, so at my next ob appointment i will be asking. talking about it helps keep me strong. God bless you all. love - M. E.

quote:

Originally posted by Evestar:
[qb]

quote:

Originally posted by emilyandbaby:
[qb] So now I am addicted to making my life better so I can make my baby's life better.
[/qb]

You have said exactly what you need to do. Hes going to do what he wants to do. I would not worry about him or think about him. Take this time and enjoy your pregnancy.

Also :welcome: [/qb]

so evestar.... i assume you live in michigan y'know the mitten. so we feel eachothers pain about this crappy weather.... i want spring!!!! sorry, this was irrelevant, but i always have to give an ups to a fellow michigander!