hope all is going well for everyone. I haven't seen any posts from you all in a bit. Let me know how you are all doing. 5 weeks left an counting

Lucky you HMCR 5 more weeks!!! I get so excited when people are ready to have their babies. I can't wait until December 27th my big day.

I'm doing fine. I've noticed there has not been any new posts lately. Maybe a lot of us pregnate women are just getting lazy. LOL Either that or we are all so well adjusted that we don't need advice....yea right.

SPIRIT

i hope so my life was going good for a while no real issues with the ex, until yesterday, back to his same old attitude. i think im one up on him now though.

Hi everyone,

There's not a whole lot going on here except I'm starting to have some real ambivilent feelings about having this baby.

I spoke with my ex (abusive, alcoholic) ex on wednesday and honestly can say I now have closure - he's still abusive and in denial about the abuse and the alcoholism. I forgot how immature he really was, and during the phone call he just reinforced his abusive attitudes. He won't give up parental rights but NOW is questioning whether this child is his!! It's almost laughable how delusional he is. He tried telling me how he's doing really good and is like talking to like 6 girls right now - my response was, I really don't care, you'll abuse this woman just like you abused me and Michelle and who knows who else who's come before us. Everytime I would say something factual and assertive he'd try to shift the blame on to me. I have to admit it pisses me off to no end that while I'm literally struggling right now, he's up there having a hoot hollering time. But he's facing felony charges and I'm not so I guess I'd be doing the same to forget my fate. All he kept saying was how he had a good lawyer and I was like well then why did the prosecutor call me and ask me if I'd be willing to let you plead guilty to another 1st degree misdemeanor?

I can kick myself at times (and I know this sounds soooooooo bad) that I let myself get sucked into his games again and found myself pregnant. I can't help thinking at times it would've been easier just to have an abortion - as much as I like easy way outs, I can't stop thinking that this baby was sent by God. Do any of you ever have these thoughts and if not am I just an awful person for thinking this at times?

On a more positive note I have a job interview on Wednesday - yeah!! It's for a property manager position with the leading prop. mang. co. in the area so I'm a little nervous to say the least but please keep me in your prayers. I hate waitressing so much and I'm not the best waitress in the world. Ha Ha!

As a side note, my doctor commented that my uterus was posterior last appointment when she did the pap smear (I'm 12 weeks/13 weeks) and I was wondering if any of you experienced this and what did it mean for the development of the baby?

HMCR - I'm not quite sure how to post private replies - I guess I'm still a newbie but I haven't been ignoring you at ALL on purpose. On a side note - I know that it's hard without this man but you deserve so much better - and most importantly the child does. If he's going to come around it's got to be on your terms and nothing less and if it happens you're lucky and it really was meant to be - if not then just from personal experience move on. My life has been a nightmare I'll confess, but I know I'm doing the right thing.

School started back up on Wednesday. Turns out almost all of our projects, papers and tests are due the same time I am (end of October). Looks like I'll be studying between contractions. Wish me luck!